Confused in Love
by QueenBee03
Summary: What if Ana didn't interview Christian? What if she was a bit older, wiser but more confused than ever? What if he was beginning to realize that he may want more? What if these two people were at the right place at the right time and meet by chance creating an extraordinary serendipity.
1. Confused in Love

**A/N: I've always kinda wondered this about the books- so Christian meets Ana and just BAM falls in love with her and never really saw what else was out there? Never really dated anyone else? Once he realized he wanted more and had opened up his heart, it was a wrap. And yes some people get it right the first time around but... that's the exception. Not the rule. So I started thinking what if Christian met Ana AFTER he had already given a bit more to someone else. It's kind of like if he had never met this other woman, he would have ruined things with Ana from the start. So, she might have been what started to soften Christian's heart, but it belongs to Ana. (This story is NOT about this first woman, but what comes AFTER her- Ana!). So YES since I know you guys will all be asking, this is a HEA FOR ANA AND CHRISTIAN.**

"Another Moscow mule?" The bartender says to me causing me to look up from my phone. I'm on a deadline and yet here I am at this bar around the corner from my apartment engaging in mild flirtation with the cute man with sparkling grey eyes. He's giving me major Bradley Cooper vibes and I'm here for it.

I look up at him through my lashes. "I probably shouldn't, I need to be writing" I say holding up my phone where I do most of my writing when the environment isn't appropriate to whip out my laptop.

"Writer, huh?" He asks. "What do you write about?"

I bite my lip wondering if I want to divulge the contents of my explosive, world-reknown column to this man I may want to take home later. Usually when I say it guys get all weird, thinking they're like an experiment of mine. "Love" I say with a shrug as I swirl the straw around my copper mug, effectively avoidng eye contact.

He leans over the bar towards me. "What about it?"

"Just... everything. I find it fascinating. How people find it, where to find it, how it works. How people lose it. It's... the most important thing in the world, after all." I hear a snort next to me and look to my right to see a man downing a good amount of what appears to be whiskey.

"You don't agree?" I ask.

"Love is overrated" he says and my heart hurts for him.

"You've clearly never experienced it" I say before turning my attention back to the bartender. I am about to continue our conversation when the stranger next to me speaks again.

"You just said you also write about how people lose it... why would you ever want to put yourself through that."

"Haven't you heard the phrase it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?"

He snorts again and points at his drink signaling that he wants another. "Sounds like bullshit"

"Well it's not. Love is... beautiful"

"Are you going to launch into that quote about love being patient and kind and... whatever else, because I'm really not in the mood" he says rubbing his forehead and I can tell he looks tense.

"Well with all due respect sir, you interjected into my conversation with your ever so gentlemanly snort" I say rolling my eyes.

"Are you always such smart ass?" he asks and I smile.

"Only on days that end with a Y"

He chuckles and shakes his head clearly at a loss for words. I think he's done when I turn back to the bartender only to see that he's across the bar taking the order of a blonde girl with at least two cup sizes on me. I look down at the black t-shirt and dark blue jeans I'm wearing with the flanel shirt still tied around my waist from when I got warm earlier. Seattle fickle weather. I guess I'm not really wearing my 'come fuck me' clothes. I go back to my phone when I hear his voice next to me. "Sorry I interrupted your banter with the douchebag bartender"

I look over at him and frown. "He's not a douchebag"

"Oh please. I can't believe that shit even works"

"What, being nice?"

"No, you couldn't tell how hard he was hitting on you?"

"He's a bartender. He flirts with all girls... to get tips. What are you new?"

"And you don't care?"

"I'm not trying to marry him, maybe just a friendly makeout" I shrug and he furrows his brow. "What you've never made out with a stranger?"

"Can't say that I have"

"Really? A hot guy like you, I'm surprised you don't have them lining up to take a turn" I say.

"A turn? Really? I'm not a carousel"

I start laughing immediately and he looks at me questioningly. "I was going to make a joke about riding carousels but you seem like kind of a prude, and I don't want to offend"

He almost chokes on his drink and I blanch. "I am anything but a prude"

I shrug and decide maybe I will have another drink so I beckon the bartender over with a flip of my long brown hair and a smile and sure enough he comes strutting back over. Okay a little douchey.

"Changed your mind?"

"Yeah, I'll have what he's having" I say pointing at the stranger who I have to say has intrigued me since we started this conversation.

"It's a Manhattan."

"Perfect. Straight up, please"

"A girl that drinks whiskey is my kind of girl" he winks and the stranger and I share a look when his back is turned. I smack my head when he gives me a look that says 'told ya so.'

Before I can even realize it, I've moved over the two bar stools separating us so I'm sitting next to him and as I get closer I realize I've seen his face before. "Hi"

He chuckles and shakes his head. "I'm really too drunk for too much more back and forth"

"You look familiar"

"I'm sure I do" he says.

"Are you famous?"

"I guess you could say that. But couldn't tell you why"

"What's your name anyway?"

"If you're trying to make out, I thought I had to be a stranger"

"Who says I want to makeout with you? I make it a habit not to mix business with pleasure"

"I'm business?" He asks looking at me with wide eyes.

"Yes. I'm billing these hours to the magazine" I say looking at my watch. "I want to pick your brain"

"God woman, about what?"

"Why you're drinking your weight in whiskey? And why you're trying to pretend you've never experienced love when clearly this is over a woman"

"It could be work" he retorts.

"Nah... you've got this whole, woman ripped out my heart and left it on the kitchen floor vibes" I say waving my hand over him.

"I don't have a heart"

"Okay tinman, tell me why?"

"Tinman?"

"You've never seen the Wizard of Oz either? God what planet are you from?"

"Mars"

I laugh at his reference though I'm not sure he meant for it to be. "They do say men are from Mars. You're evading the question"

"Life. Made me hard I guess"

I furrow my brow wondering what he means. As I go to inquire I see that the bartender has put my drink in front of me. I thank him and as I am about to look away, I notice a phone number written on the napkin with a name. I look up and he's gone again and I smile. Tanner. Okay... maybe file that away for later. "What about life?"

"I don't really want to do this. Get into this now, all the bullshit that has happened. Keeps me from being happy"

"The only thing that keeps a person from being happy is that person. Don't use your past as an excuse to create chaos for your future"

"Is that on a pillow somewhere?" He asks and I raise an eyebrow to let him know his sarcasm isn't going to get him out of my question.

He rubs a hand over his jaw. "Jane"

"Is that her name?"

"Yeah"

"Well what happened with this Jane"

"I fucked everything up"

"As so many men do. What happened?"

"You wouldn't understand"

I purse my lips together. "Okay. Did she break up with you?"

"I broke up with her... kinda. I think"

"Well that's... clear?"

"She wants more."

"Oooooooh" I say my lips forming an O shape. "Tale as old as time. I didn't really peg you for a fuckboy though"

"What the hell is a fuckboy? And I am certainly not"

"No ya kinda are. Have you slept with her?"

"Yes"

"But you don't want more than that? But she does? You know the only two people that really know what go on in a relationship are those two people, BUT from an outsider looking in, ya sound like a fuckboy"

"What is that!? Stop calling me that"

"A guy that just wants sex and isn't really clear about that motive from the start. He'll say whatever he can to get what he wants from her and then claim she's a stage five clinger when she wants more after you promised her the moon and the stars"

"I didn't promise her shit"

"Okay well... that's... pleasant"

"She slept in my bed with me. Twice"

"Ummm" I say to fill the silence while I am trying to come up with what to say. "That's... bad?"

"I don't sleep with anyone"

"Sleep like night night sleep? Not sex?"

He rolls his eyes at my elementary explanation. "I have nightmares... and I have some issues with.. touch. So I don't like to sleep with anyone"

"Okay, so she slept in a bed with you"

"Twice"

"And that's weird"

"Not normal. She affects me like no one has before. She's too good for me. She's so innocent and pure.. I took her virginity for Christ's sake!"

I spit my drink out a little and stare at him with wide eyes. "Oh my God, she is at least 18 right?"

"Shut up. I'm not a... pedophile. She's 22"

"And she's never had sex? God damn what planet is she from?"

"She was saving herself"

"For marriage?"

"For someone special"

"That's... damn can I talk to her too?"

"No." He says sternly.

"Oookay, testy. So you took her virginity. When?"

"About a week ago"

"How was that?"

"Amazing"

"Virgins that are like oddly good in bed, I swear they are like mermaids. A 22 year old virgin. Wow."

"How old were you?" He asks and I smile recalling my high school boyfriend who I still randomly keep in touch with.

"Sixteen, you?"

"Fifteen"

"Damn that was 9 years ago. I feel old as fuck"

"You're twenty five?" he asks with wide eyes and I nod.

"Why? How old do I look?"

"Like you used a fake ID to get in here"

I slap his shoulder and laugh heartily. "Dick. Sorry I'm not dressed like Trampy Barbie at the end of the bar. I typically save that attire for weekends. Okay we are getting off topic. I want to know more about this Jane. How did you meet?"

He sighs. "Short version. Her best friend was supposed to interview me for her college newspaper. She got really sick with the flu, so Jane came instead. When I saw her... I had to know more. There was this spark. She intrigued me. And I am not easily intrigued."

"Mind if I take notes?" I say pulling out my phone.

"Be my guest" he says putting his head in his hands. "So I found her at work, I-"

"How?"

"How what?"

"How did you know where she worked?"

"Oh she told me, she mentioned-"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would she mention where she worked? Did you guys talk in the interview, do you know her favorite food? Color? Book?"

"How is this relevant?" He says clearly getting irritated.

"I'm a journalist. And I do this for a living. Just want all the facts"

"Okay you want the facts? I had a background check run on her and I found it through that, yahappy? Make me sound like a super stalker"

I laugh. "I love it. And my readers will too"

"So we talked, I created a situation where I knew I could see her again and then I asked her out for coffee. She drinks tea though. Twinnings"

"Eh I grew into my coffee addiction at twenty three, there's still hope for her"

"Stop interrupting me. Do you want to hear or not?" I zip my lips throwing away the key and smile. "She was an English Literature major... I should have known then. A hopeless romantic. Not for me... But I continued to pursue her. She had never had sex and I couldn't take her to my - I mean I had to do something special for her first time, right?"

"Sure. First times are special"

"So we had vanilla"

"Vanilla? Like... boring?"

He chuckles. "It wasn't though. I have certain... tastes. So I'm not used to having sex without... I mean just not that way"

"Oh.. so you have like a kinky fetish or something. What is it?" My eyes dancing with excitement. _I always did love hearing about people's predilections. It's like getting a glance inside their psyche._

"I'm not telling you"

"Why not? I've seen it all. Well maybe not all.. it doesn't involve like animals or bodily fluids or something right? Only minimal judgment if that's what you're into"

"No. Just... some spanking and stuff"

"Oh like BDSM? Very interesting, I wrote a piece on that a few months ago. That's very normal, almost mainstream days. I blame books" I say shrugging. "Every day there's a new book coming out about some macho caveman guy spanking his cute little girlfriend to keep her in line. And we- as in women eat that shit up! It's what we all want yaknow. A guy to take care of us. Am I breaking like all kinds of girl code right now?"

His eyes widen at me and I wonder if I've said too much. "Anyway, she wanted to see..." He looks at the bartender. "Can I get two shots of whiskey?"

"Need some liquid courage?"

"No one is for you" he says as the bartender pours us two and retreats back to his blonde. "We down them and I immediately take a sip of my water afterwards." _God that shit is dumb strong._

"I have a playroom. I knew I couldn't take a virgin in there. So I made love to her... in my bed. She was the first person I ever did that with. I was just looking for a god damn submissive" He groans rubbing his forehead. "And she had to go and fall in love with me"

"She's in love with you"

"So she says"

"Do you love her?"

"I can't"

"Why?"

"Dammit, because I'm not worthy of her. I'm too fucked up and she's... too pure and perfect" he starts to slur and I wonder if anyone is looking for her.

"So you broke it off?"

"There's more... but I just... can't tell you"

"Why?"

"You'll think I'm a monster"

"What do you care what I think?" I ask genuinely curious and also so I can get some more material for my column. _This is gold. So the lamb fell in love with the lion..._

"She didn't safe word! It wasn't my fault. I mean it was but... she should have said stop!" he says pulling on his hair before he puts his head in his hands.

"I-" I reach out to touch him when I remember his touch issues so I retract my hand immediately. "Did you.. hurt her?"

"I would never..." he says looking up at me with glossy eyes. "I didn't... she wanted to know how far she could go"

I bite my bottom lip and wonder just how far he pushed her. "Is she...okay?"

"Yes. Physically. I just spanked her too hard."

"Oh" I say letting out a breath.

"With a belt"

"Oh" I say downing the rest of my Moscow Mule.

"And then she ran?"

"No... well yes. She told me she loved me"

"After you hit her with the belt?"

"Yes"

"Well that's... an interesting turn of events?"

"She thought if she let me spank her, show her the worst... she could touch me"

"Did you let her touch you?"

"No"

"Why?"

"Because... it's not like I'm a fucking germophobe. The human touch is... unbearable in some places. My chest, my back... It feels like it's burning my flesh"

"That's deep. Do you... see anyone?"

"Like a shrink?" He snorts. "Try once a week"

"What happened... to you?"

"I don't want to talk about it" he says as he stares into his empty glass.

"Something when you were a kid?"

He's silent for a moment. "Can we talk about something else?"

I sigh and I feel for this man in this moment who has obviously experienced something so traumatic it's effecting him years later. "Well where is Jane now?"

"She went to Georgia. Visit her mom... hide from me... I don't know" he says rubbing his head. "She won't take my calls"

"So wait, rewind, she said she loved you and you pushed her away"

"Yeah"

"Do you want her back?"

"Yes. I.. fucked up but it's been three days and it's like I'm in perpetual night here. I already have trouble sleeping and now I'm having nightmares that include her. And I... I miss her. Her smile, her laugh. God she's beautiful" he says rubbing his forehead.

"And you say you've never been in love" I say sadly.

"I don't love her, I _want_ her"

"Two heads of the same coin, if you ask me"

"Wait till my family finds out, they loved her. My brother is dating her best friend. God Kate is going to rip my balls off" he says groaning. "I'm surprised the witch hunt hasn't already started"

"Maybe she hasn't told them. She did say she loved you. Why would she villainize you? What if you two get back together? Women know better these days. Don't talk shit about a boyfriend unless you're SURE the relationship is dead and gone otherwise your friends who obviously have your back are going to hate him forever!"

"Maybe Kate doesn't know" He looks down at his watch. "Fuck when did it get to be 1:30?"

"Time flies when you're sharing war stories"

"I didn't hear any of yours" he says his eyes drooping from probably fatigue and definitely the alcohol.

"Some other time. I should probably head home"

"Where do you live?"

"Literally around the corner... how are you getting home? You are in no place to drive"

"My driver is outside" he hiccups.

"Oh.." I say and _I wonder who the hell is this man that he has a driver waiting outside while he gets drunk in a bar for three and a half hours?_

"It's late. I should walk you home"

"Oh that's not-"

"I'm walking you home." he says cutting me off and I sigh.

"Fine"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We arrive at my apartment and I look over his shoulder to see the Audi from in front of the bar a few hundred feet away. _Must be his driver._

"Well thanks for walking me home" I say reaching for my keys.

"You're not going to invite me in?" He asks and I know it's the whiskey talking.

"I thought you didn't make out with strangers?"

"Who said anything about making out. Come on you didn't take the napkin with the doucebag bartender phone number so who's going to keep you company tonight?" He winks and I curse myself. _Dammit I did leave it!_

"Look, you're... very drunk and sad about Jane. You don't want to do this. And I'm not going to let you, no matter how insanely good looking you are. Fix things with Jane"

He sighs and puts both hands over his eyes. "I don't know how"

"Tell her you love her"

"I don't"

"You sure about that?"

"I don't know"

"Well you think maybe you should figure that out?" I ask crossing my arms over my chest.

"Look if you post any of what I told you-"

"Relax, I don't even know your name. Besides... I don't mix business with pleasure remember?" I say smiling. This felt way too personal to put in my column. _Drunken admissions don't count. I like my sources to be sober and willing. This man seems like he probably doesn't ever share anything and would be less than pleased to see his words splashed all over the internet. No matter how good it would look._

"This isn't business?"

"No... I like you too much" I smile. "As a _friend_!" I correct myself.

"It's Christian" he says.

"Christian" I repeat back as he starts walking away towards the car.

"OH I'M ANA!" I call after him. He doesn't turn around but he waves his arm indicating that he heard me. He gets in the car and it doesn't move, probably waiting for me to enter my building.

I'm in the elevator. "Christian Christian Christian? With a driver.. and I know I've seen that face before." I whisper to myself. "Who the hell was that?" I think before dropping my keys in recognition. "GREY!"

 **A/N: DON'T PANIC. HEA, remember?! Let me know what you think! Thank you to all of you guys on facebook that got a sneak peak of this yesterday and pushed me to post it! You guys are awesome. And special thanks to Diamond Child who I rapid fire messaged with this idea yesterday morning and helped get the ball rolling with writing it! Xx**


	2. Who Is She?

**A/N: I am so overwhelmed by the reviews and positive response to this story! Thank you for giving it a chance!**

CPOV

I wake when I hear the incessant beeping of my alarm clock next to my bed. _I never understood how people could use their phone as their alarm. It's not nearly loud enough and what if you send it soaring off the bed in the night?_ I turn off the alarm with a resounding smack and I run a hand through my hair. I sit up too fast and immediately the room spins. _Okay back down I go._ I stare at the ceiling wondering what possessed me to get so drunk. I close my eyes and clear as day I see her. But not the her that's been plaguing my thoughts the last three days. _No. Not Jane_. And although my heart constricts slightly when I think of her, I can't stop the smile that moves onto my face when I think of the girl I met at the bar last night. The memories of last night all come flooding back and I groan. _Why the hell didn't I get her to sign an NDA? She's a goddamn reporter, Grey. She did say she wasn't going to write anything about you. You just had to tell her your god damn name. What was hers again? Something with an A. I remember calling after me, but I'm drawing a blank. Maybe Taylor remembers. Lord knows I don't remember much about the ride home._ I get up and make my way to the bathroom to get ready for the day. I let the water run over my stiff muscles and resist the urge to throw up. _Fuck I'm hungover._ I lean back letting my hair get wet, when my eyes fly open. _Oh mother fuck. Did I really try and get upstairs to her apartment? I haven't so much as glanced at a woman in three days and now I'm- offering to keep women company?_ I roll my eyes at myself. _Okay first order of the day, track down the columnist. Did she say the name of her column? There's usually an email at the end to contact the writer. The magazine? ANYTHING GREY? Jesus._ I put the towel around my waist and emerge from the bathroom, still dripping wet. "TAYLOR!"

He appears in my doorway. "Sir?"

"What the hell happened last night?"

"You went to a bar"

"I know that. The woman I met… tell me about her"

"I don't know much"

"Did I say her name when I got in the car? I didn't get her to sign an NDA. And I spilled my guts to her. She's a reporter for God's sake" I say as I begin to pace around the room despite the pounding in my head.

"You said she wrote for a magazine. She writes a column about love"

"So you can see why I would be disturbed given that I told her about my goddamn playroom!"

"You did mention that you may have divulged more than usual"

"More than usual? I told her more in an hour than I've shared with Flynn in a week!" I say throwing my hands in the air, exasperated.

"You did also say that you weren't worried"

"What?" I ask looking at him curiously.

"You said you weren't worried. That she said she wouldn't write about you in her column"

"Of course she would say that! She's a reporter! And I'm just supposed to believe that?"

"You did"

I blow out a breath. "Tell me you remember her name"

"Ana, sir"

"Do you remember where she lives?"

"Of course"

"We are stopping there before I go into GEH"

"Certainly, sir. I'll have the car ready momentarily"

"Great"

"I assume you are not working out this morning?"

"I think I would puke, so, no." I say through gritted teeth.

I see him stifle a smile. _Smug bastard._ "I'll see you downstairs, sir"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm sitting outside a building that I vaguely remember wondering how the hell I'm going to waltz up to her door and shove an NDA in her face. _I don't even know what number she is. This would be so much easier if I could have done a background check. But I would need to know more about her than just her first name. Or do I…_ I pull out my phone and call the familiar number.

"Welch"

"Mr. Grey?"

"I need you to see what you can find on just a first name and address"

"Yes sir"

"Her name is Ana, she lives at 1114…" I pull the phone away. "Taylor what street are we on?" As I try and crane my neck to find a street sign.

"Southwest Green Street, sir"

"Southwest Green Street. 1114 Southwest Green Street. It's the Olympic Towers Apartment complex. She's a writer.. For some magazine, and it's online too I think."

"Okay, sir let me-"

"No, I'll wait. I need this now"

"Okay, let me log in, I'm not in my office"

"Get there"

"On my way sir" I hear him moving. "How are you this morning?" _Is he making small talk?_

"Call me when you find her" I say hanging up and throwing my head back against the rest. "Jesus fucking Christ. I just want to know which button to press, how is this so hard?"

"Nothing worth having comes easy, sir"

I narrow my eyes at him at what seems like a double meaning and exhale when my phone rings.

"I have the information sir"

"Great, email everything you find. But tell me her full name and what apartment number"

"Anastasia Steele. Apartment 4B"

"Thank you. Email me everything. Yesterday" I say before hanging up.

"Good to see your hangover hasn't knocked you off your game" Taylor says to me and I shoot him a glare.

"I'll be back"

"Be nice" I hear before I slam the door and book it towards the door. I'm just about to press the button for 4B when my nostrils are filled with a familiar scent as the door opens. I know people say there's a strong correlation between the sense of smell and memory and I'm experiencing that for the first time… at least in a positive way. I turn my head towards the smell and see her. I would know those eyes anywhere. She's dressed casually in a black sundress with a blue denim button up shirt over it that brings out the blue in her eyes and black sandals that tie around her ankles.

"Christian?" she blinks a few times maybe to convince herself that I'm standing in front of her, just as I am doing to her.

"Ana" I say completely have forgotten the papers in my hand.

She pulls her sunglasses over her eyes as she closes the door behind her. "How ya feeling, champ?"

"I've felt better"

"Yeah you did have quite a lot to drink last night. Have you eaten?" She asks and I'm not used to people asking me that… _I ask people that!_

"Uh… no?" I say surprised that I left the house without eating.

"Well that's your number one problem! You need carbs… or more alcohol when you're hungover. Come on" she says walking down the street.

"Wait" I say jogging after her. "I'm here for a reason!"

"You should still eat, Christian. Your body is dehydrated one, and two you need something to soak up the alcohol! Honestly that's drinking 101"

"I know that, Anastasia"

"So then-" She pauses and I immediately know my fuck up. "What did you call me?"

I take a deep breath. "Okay… I…"

"You did a background check on me, huh?" She says lifting her sunglasses up slightly so she can look into my eyes.

"Yes. I just needed to know your last name and your apartment number so I-" the words come out rushed and she covers those beautiful eyes back up with her Ray Bans before she puts her hands up.

"Hey hey, relax! I'm not mad. You told me some of your life story last night and I told you I was a reporter, I don't blame you for wanting to know more about me"

"I don't know much yet, I'm waiting for your background check" I smile.

She crosses her arms. "So are you coming or what?"

"Coming where?"

"To get food" she says smacking her forehead. "Focus!"

"What? No, I have to work"

She shrugs. "What is your boss going to get mad if you come in late?" She says raising an eyebrow. "Please" she says rolling her eyes. "Drop yourself an email, to let _you_ know you'll be late and come get some pancakes that will change your life"

I'm inclined to follow her to get these life changing pancakes when it registers what she's said. "Wait… you know who I am?"

"I told you, you looked familiar! And it clicked once I got home. You're Christian Grey. Like THE Christian Grey"

"I don't usually have a 'the' at the beginning of my name" I look towards Taylor and realize I still haven't given her the NDA. _And I am actually hungry._ "Are the pancakes far?"

"Down the street!" she says pointing over her shoulder.

"Alright, let's go" I say before sending Taylor a text telling him to stay put.

"Wonderful! And then you can get me to sign whatever those papers are telling me I can't say anything about what you told me yesterday"

"That obvious, huh?" I ask as I glance at the papers.

"A little yeah. But I'm used to it." We continue walking and within a few minutes we are walking through the doors of a restaurant. We sit down and Ana immediately orders a mimosa. "Want one?"

"A mimosa? At 10 am on a Wednesday?"

"Says the guy that got shitfaced on a Tuesday night" she says giving me a pointed look. _That was different!_

"Don't you have to work?" I ask trying to change the subject from my behavior last night.

"I'm a writer, I don't exactly punch a clock, Grey"

"Well I do have to go into work at some point"

She shrugs. "Don't"

"Don't what?"

"Go to work" She says as if it's the most obvious solution.

"I can't do that"

"Why not?" She says taking a sip of her coffee that was already on the table when she sat down. "Have you ever not gone to work? Had like a Ferris Buellers Day Off type thing?"

"Like play hooky?"

"Yeah, why not? Afraid your company will crumble without you?"

"No. I just don't do it that's all"

"You're telling me that you've never once…" she stops and shakes her head. "Nah you're probably so regimented. Do you have your bathroom breaks timed out as well? 'I have to pee'" she says looking at her watch. 'Damn, not 2 pm yet, gotta wait 10 more minutes'"

"There is nothing wrong with structure and discipline"

"Yeah if you're in the army!"

"Not having structure leads to chaos"

"Nothing wrong with a little chaos. Keeps it interesting" she says. Her mimosa arrives and she takes a long sip. "I'm supposed to go to a gallery opening later" she says all of a sudden. "Do you want to go?"

"With… you?"

She looks all around before turning back to me and I just know she's going to have a smartass remark to make. "I don't see anyone else around?"

"I just meant… you want me to go with you?"

"Yeah I don't want to go alone. My best friend bailed. She's such a flake" she rolls her eyes.

"What time?"

"Like seven? There's no set time, it's kind of an open house thing. But I'm friends with the artist and he's been bugging me to come. Besides I have to be seen at these types of things. I'm pretty big in the arts world" she giggles and I smile. Her enthusiasm and carefree spirit are so infectious.

As much as I'm not keen on the idea of an art show, the idea of spending more time with Ana sparks something inside of me that I haven't felt… maybe ever. "Alright, I'm in. Should I pick you up?"

"With your fancy driver? Sure, Grey. Pick me up at 6:30"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

APOV

 _I don't know what possessed me to ask Christian to come tonight. He just seems so… lost. He's twenty seven going on ninety and I mean where is the fun in that? I'm all for being an old soul but he takes it to the extreme. I haven't been able to get that look in his eyes out of my head when I saw him at the bar. So broken, and hurt. He might be worth billions, but does he have anything in his life he truly cares about? Anything that excites him? It seemed he cared or cares deeply for this Jane girl, but then she left him. And it seems like he's carrying the world on his shoulders. He needs some fun in his life, and I'm going to give it to him even if I have to drag him kicking and screaming._ I finish applying the red lipstick to my lips and take a look at myself in the mirror before doing a 360. I hear my buzzer and glance at my watch. _He's really early. I haven't even finished my wine._ I hit the button that allows me to buzz people in. "Christian?"

"Yeah it's me"

"Come on up, it's a sin to waste wine and I just poured a glass"

I hear him chuckle. "Alright" Within a few moments he's at my door and I open it revealing undoubtedly the best looking man I've ever seen. _Sure I may not be trying to jump his bones, but I can admit that this man is sexy as hell._

"You look nice" I say as I let him enter my apartment.

"As do you." I notice he's carrying a brown paper bag and I nod towards it.

"What's that?"

"Oh." He says handing it to me. "In case you wanted to start Thursday the way you started today" he smiles as I pull a bottle of Dom Perignon and Tropicana orange juice out of the bag.

"Okay first of all, you don't use 200 dollar champagne in a mimosa"

"For a good mimosa, you do"

"Okay well I don't think you're ever supposed to chug Dom Perignon which is the only way to drink mimosas." I giggle. "But thank you. You didn't have to bring anything" I see him looking around my place and I cock my head to the side. "Like what you see?"

"What?" He says turning to me and I don't miss his eyes raking my body.

"My apartment, silly" I say putting the champagne and orange juice in the fridge.

"Oh yes, it suits you"

"What does that mean?"

"It's… cool"

"Cool? Thanks I don't think anyone has called me 'cool' since the tenth grade"

"Are you saying you haven't been cool since the tenth grade?" He says with a smirk and I giggle at his attempt to keep up with me.

"No I'm saying people don't say 'cool' anymore"

"They do too"

"Really? Along with rad?"

"Cool is definitely still used in everyday language"

"Sure it is"

"I just meant I like your apartment. It's warm and inviting."

"Thank you. I like it too." I look at my glass and smack my forehead. "Where are my manners? Sorry, do you want some wine? God I swear I'm a better hostess"

"Aren't we going to be late?" Christian says looking at his watch. "It's already 6:45"

"Ever heard the term fashionably late?" I say uncorking the bottle.

"I don't do late"

"Of course you don't, but like I said it's an open house. And if we go too early, when we bail we'll have nothing to do before later"

"What's later?"

"You'll see" I say clapping my hands.

"Wait.. I can't go on like an all night bender I have an early meeting."

I stare at him, not blinking for a few seconds. "You're so strange. You're 27 not 50 you're telling me you can't bounce back from a night of partying?"

"Not really"

I narrow my eyes at him. "Okay no drinking, but you're going to want to where I'm taking you"

"Where- where are we going?" He actually looks nervous and I smile.

"You ever just go with the flow?"

"Not really"

"Relax. I got this. And if you hate it, we can leave, okay?"

He blows out a breath. "Fine. I need to have my security check the place out first"

"Fine, I'll run it by your security. What's his number?"

"Like his phone number?"

"No the number of people he's had sex with" I say rolling my eyes. "Yes his phone number" I say putting my hands on my hips.

"Why can't you just tell me, and I'll tell him"

"That ruins the surprise"

"You're impossible" he says as he pulls out his phone to read me Taylor's number.

"I know" I wink.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

CPOV

 _The gallery is more low key than I thought. I don't know why I expected like a red carpeted affair. And not that I need to be babysat but I appreciate that Ana hasn't run off too far. She knows over half of the people here and everyone keeps asking her to comment on the art or about her last piece. I really need to read what the fuss over this girl is. I'm not used to not being the center of media attention. I guess no one really gives a shit about business at an art gallery. I find it refreshing. Fucking vultures never leave me alone._ My thoughts are interrupted by a man approaching us.

"Ana!"

"James!" She hugs him and it's not lost on me that he hugs her for a beat too long and his eyes are closed during it. "The exhibit is phenomenal. Seriously. You should be so proud"

"Thanks, Ana. I'm so glad you could make it"

"Oh I wouldn't have missed it for anything!"

"I see your partner in crime isn't here"

She rolls her eyes. "She's still living on the new guys dick and he wanted to take her to New York this weekend. 'I'll see James' exhibit next week!'" She imitates.

"I know she called me" he says. "Glad I have one loyal friend"

 _I smile that her friends view her in such a high regard. I have deep respect for anyone that values loyalty in any and all walks of life. Work, relationships, anything._ She looks at me and smiles. "Oh James, this is Christian Grey. Christian this is James Matthews. The beautiful mind behind all of this"

"Nice to meet you" he says putting his hand out and I take it. _I think he recognizes who I am but doesn't let it phase him._

"Your work is great, you're very talented."

"Thanks" he says tersely before turning back to Ana. "So do you want to get a drink after?"

 _Does this guy not see me standing here? Man if this isn't nostalgia. Of course, Ana isn't mine. But this guy doesn't know that! Reminds me of Jose and Jane if I ever saw it._ I hear her saying that _we_ have plans and the word makes me smile. He's pulled away to talk to someone when Ana notices the look on my face.

"What?" She asks.

"It's just.. What is it about photographers and not getting the hint when a woman isn't into them?"

She looks at me with wide eyes and then towards James. "James?"

"Yes. You really can't tell he's got it bad for you?"

"I.. I don't think so"

I chuckle. "That's cute"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It's about 9 before we leave and I open Ana's door to let her into the car. "What a gentleman!"

I get in on the other side and see Ana handing Taylor a bag. "The crabcakes are bangin"

"What are you doing?" I ask her as I see her putting it in the front passenger seat.

"What? He had to sit out here and wait for us"

"I pay him to do that"

"You don't pay him to miss out on crabcakes. There's no amount of the money to make me miss out on that. You're not allergic are you?" She asks him.

"No ma'am"

"Ma'am? You're kidding me right. You're older than I am. Don't call me ma'am that makes me feel old and I'm trying to convince my parents that's it's not a tragedy that I'm not married. If I start getting called ma'am they're going to think I'm barreling towards spinsterhood."

I see the corners of his mouth turn up in a smile and make eye contact with me in the rearview mirror and I shrug. "Thank you… Ana"

"Cool." She shoots me a smile and I laugh. "Okay, well it's still too early, want to go hang at my place? We can walk to where we are going, give Taylor the night off"

"I am going to need a ride home"

"Oh true. I can take you home later, or heaven forbid you take an Uber"

"I have a personal Uber. I literally have what Uber is based off of"

"Touche. But your Uber gets no breaks"

"Okay stop calling Taylor an Uber"

"You started it"

"Okay whatever, Taylor take us back to Ana's" I say rubbing my head.

"Please!" She says to him before shooting me a look. "Don't make me look up Christian Grey's mother and tell her he's forgotten his manners"

"You're a real ball buster, you know that?" _And for some reason, I love it._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So you never told me any of your war stories"

"Huh?" She asks me as she sits on her couch and puts her what I know to be very expensive pumps on her coffee table.

"When we met.. You said we were swapping war stories but I never heard any of yours"

"Oh" she nods her head. "What do you want to know?"

"Well… why aren't you married?" I ask her.

She blinks her eyes at me a few times. "I haven't met the one yet."

"How do you know when you meet them?" I ask. I am genuinely curious. "How does anyone know? Is there like some sign from God or another higher power? Divine intervention?"

"You just know. I don't know, I'll let you know when I meet the one" We hold each other's gaze for what feels like an eternity but more than likely a second or two when she looks away. "I dated a guy for a while"

"What's a while?"

"Six years and some change" she shrugs and I can tell that she's uncomfortable already. She wraps her hands around herself and avoids my gaze.

"Wow. Six years?" _What happened? What did he do to her? I can already feeling myself getting worked up. Why? Because some guy hurt her?_

"Yep. Did a number on me"

"How long ago?"

She sighs, shutting her eyes. "About a year ago. I'm not still heartbroken or anything… but you know once you've had that. Starting over from the beginning is hard, yaknow?"

"I wouldn't know"

"Right. You've never been in love, _allegedly_ "

"What do you mean allegedly?"

"I still think you love Jane" _This is the longest I haven't thought of Jane and I wish she hadn't brought her up. I was actually enjoying my time not thinking about her._ I'm silent and she takes it as a sign not to push me. "I've only been in love once… with him. I've had boyfriends and had some fun but nothing substantial. Not like _that_ "

"Who broke up with who?"

"I broke up with him"

"Why?"

"He couldn't commit. He didn't know if he wanted to ever get married, or marry me or what. I wasn't asking for it to be right then and there but I was twenty five and he was twenty eight and we had been together for six years, I wanted it to at least be a conversation, you know?"

"I can see that"

"Do you want to get married?"

"I'm not sure"

"I guess maybe you wouldn't."

"Why do you say that?"

"You said love is overrated"

"Love and marriage are very different. Marriage is about stability and security and…"

"More organization. Marriage isn't like the world of mergers and acquisitions. God Christian who taught you all this shit? Who made you think that… you can't be happy?"

I take slight offense to her comment. "I am happy. And I resent you insinuating that I'm not"

"You think you're happy because you don't know any better. There's a difference between being happy and being complacent."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"Life shouldn't be that… hard. And I know you can snap your fingers and get whatever you want. I don't mean in that way but… you seem like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. And that's no way to live. Whatever it is you're suppressing is consuming you. I get tense just looking at you"

"Gee thanks." _I get this shit from my mother and Flynn and my brother I don't need it from some girl I've known two days._

She takes a step towards me and reaches her hand out towards me before letting it drop. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I just like you. And I don't like many men" She blushes slightly and I appreciate her apology and at least trying to look contrite.

"I'm not upset"

She cocks her head to the side. _I wish she would stop doing that._ _Stop seeing right fucking through me. What is this fucking witchcraft?_ "Okay." She takes another sip of her wine. "What makes you think James is into me?"

"The way he looks at you, smiles at you. He was following you around like a lost puppy all night and when he wasn't he was following you around with his eyes. It's like he was hyperaware of where you were the whole time we were there. I'm sure he sniffed your hair when he hugged you" I say raising an eyebrow at her.

"I have good smelling hair!"

"You know what I'm saying, Ana."

"I never..." She trails off before furrowing her brow as if she's finally connecting the dots. "I didn't see it. I mean..." she blows out a breath before downing the rest of her wine. "We're _friends!_ I don't see him that way at all!"

"And he may not act on it. It's just an observation"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What kind of music do you like?" Ana says as we climb back into the car. Taylor and I both decided that him getting the night off would not be when I'm out with this wild card of a woman. _We could end up in Mexico tonight if I let her have free reign._

"A little bit of everything"

"Good" she smiles and I already feel myself getting nervous. _I hate going to clubs and dancing and… on a Wednesday? Where the hell is she taking me? I know I'm not going to get anything out of her so I look out the window and watch the street lights as we pass them._

"Relax" I hear from next to her. "It's going to be fun. And you don't have to do anything if you don't want to"

"Like what?"

"You'll see!" She giggles.

From the outside it looks like a dive bar and I sigh in relief that it's not some crazy club. We walk inside through a bar area and down a long narrow staircase. The first thing I hear is a song I recognize, and someone doing it- badly. I furrow my brow as we are in a dark room with the exception of lights shining on a lady on stage singing something about having R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

"You have lost your mind" I whisper in her ear.

She ignores me and I watch her lean over the bar and grab two beers from where they're held. "ANA!" The bartender yells. "I told you about that shit"

"Add it to my tab, Roger!" she squeals before handing me the blue bottle I haven't seen in years let alone drank.

"A Bud Light?"

"Don't be stuck up." She says taking my beer from me and pressing the lid so the edge is resting slightly on top of the corner of a table before slamming her fist on it, effectively popping the lid off.

I laugh at this scene in front of me as she does the same with hers. I feel her grab my hand to pull me through the crowd and I can't escape the feeling of having her hand wrapped around mine. I can't explain it, but it's different and I find myself hoping she'll hold onto it a little while longer just so I can figure it out. She lets it go once we get to a table with a VIP sign sitting in the center. She grabs it and tosses it out of sight and sits down. "Are we VIP?"

"We are now" she giggles before taking a swig of her beer.

I know I would be pissed if I got somewhere and some random people just took the table meant for me but I shrug and sit next to her. "I'm not singing"

"You don't have to"

"Are you going to?"

She shrugs. "Depends on the crowd. I hate doing it when the crowd isn't into it, not singing along. It's more fun when they're involved." She looks around. "We'll see. It's still early"

"They have anything stronger than this here?" I say holding up the beer.

"Sure we can get shots!"

" _Maybe_ after a few of those…if you did with me. And swear not to tell a soul" I trail off and I wonder how it's been two days since I met her and she's already changing me. I have enough self awareness to know that there is no way I'd even be considering karaoke if it weren't for the woman sitting next to me dancing in her seat as someone sings that Mariah Carey song that everyone in the English language knows.

"What would you want to sing?" She asks her eyes dancing.

"I don't know"

"There are some good duets. Let me grab the book" she says hopping out of her seat and returning with a binder of laminated sheets. "It's gotta be something good. Fun. A crowd pleaser"

"God, I'm going to suck."

"Who cares, it's all the fun. You have to be able to laugh at yourself. You can't take yourself so seriously"

"How did you get to be so wise beyond your years?" I say raising an eyebrow at her and she smiles.

Sure enough after a couple of shots and watching people butcher classics and a few I didn't know, I let Ana convince me to take on "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." _I do actually know this one, but I really can't believe I'm doing this._

We get on the stage and she smiles at me. "You ready? You can do this." She smiles and I nod.

"Let's get this shit over with"

"That's the spirit" she says rolling her eyes at me and _I realize I've seen her roll them at least 100 times at me and I haven't told her to knock it off. Hmmm. Okay, Grey not the fucking time. Marvin starts this shit._

I sing my first part and I hear people cheering immediately including Ana next to me even though she should be getting ready to sing her part. She starts and I roll my eyes, of course she sounds like a damn Grammy award winning singer. _Fucker_. I narrow my eyes at her and shake my head.

 _ **'Cause baby there ain't no mountain high enough,**_

 _ **Ain't no valley low enough,**_

 _ **Ain't no river wide enough**_

 _ **To keep me from getting to you babe.**_

 _We sing the chorus and I have to admit, we sound pretty good. Of course, Ana had to be a crowd pleaser. She's interacting with the audience and dancing around me and at one point she bumps her hip with mine and I can't help but laugh at this woman who clearly doesn't take herself as seriously as everyone else in my fucking life. Damn, wait till Elliott meets her. He's going to love her. I frown thinking about that and wonder if I want Ana getting stuck in Elliott's crosshairs. Who knows how long Kate will be around._

We get off the stage and her cheeks are flushed and red as she pulls me to the back of the club away from the table we were sitting at. "That was so great! You were awesome!" She cheers and I furrow my brows together wondering when the last time anyone ever said I was _awesome_ especially for something so trivial.

After a few more songs, Ana grabs my hand. "Come on Cinderella"

"What?" I ask as I take another sip of this disgusting Bud Light I've been drinking all night.

"It's almost past midnight, I know you probably turn into a pumpkin soon. Early meeting remember?"

"Oh.. right. Yeah. We should go" I say. _I'm surprised how much I enjoyed myself tonight and I wish I hadn't made such a big deal about my meeting tomorrow because I'd rather be out with Ana._

We make it to the car and I look over at her to see her on her phone before putting it to her ear. "What are you doing? Who are you calling at midnight?" I ask wondering if she's calling a guy to come over. _The thought doesn't sit right with me for some reason but I push it aside._

She moves her mouth away from the receiver. "Ordering pizza. Hi I would like to place an order for delivery, please?" I hear her place her order before looking at me. "You want anything" she whispers.

"I'm good" I shake my head. _It's after midnight and she's eating pizza? How does she stay so thin? Her body is amazing and all I've seen her do for the past two days is put shit into it._

"You didn't learn your lesson? Eat something when you get home. And take some advil." She says before taking her hand away from the speaker. "Yep that's all thaaaaanks!" She says hanging up after giving her address and confirming her phone number.

"Taylor can we listen to some music!" She giggles before shooting me a look and I shake my head letting her know that I would not be singing again. I groan when I hear the first few notes of 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough' come blaring through the car. I snap my head to look at Ana and see her stifling a laugh before darting my eyes to Taylor and I know he happened to catch my act by the smug look on his face.

"You guys are both assholes" I grit out before eventually breaking out into a laugh with both of them.


	3. Trust

CPOV

 _It's been two weeks since I met Anastasia Steele and I swear that girl came into my life like a whirlwind. I've never met someone who pushed me or challenged me more or urged me to be the best version of myself and I have a therapist! I have spent so much time focusing on not necessarily the wrong things but certainly not the important ones. My life consisted of work and subs and sessions with Flynn, more work, working out, the occasional beer with Elliott when he forces me… What did I do for fun? To relax? Okay the playroom is relaxing. And sailing is always enjoyable, but I typically did that alone. And where's the fun in that? Even when Jane interviewed me and asked what I did for fun… I gave her such a bullshit answer. Various physical pursuits? What the hell does that even mean? Did I even have fun before Ana came along? On top of everything, she's shown me how to let loose and just enjoy myself. Be a twenty seven year old guy. Something I didn't even know I was capable of doing. I feel so at ease with her and I slowly find myself letting my guard down with her. Every now and then she tries to get me to open up about my past but.. I'm not ready. I mean I trust her, but maybe I'll never be ready to discuss it with her. It's in the past right? Why do I have to dig up those painful memories any more than I have to? And you know what's strange? The pain I was feeling over losing Jane has somewhat subsided. Sure I still miss her and I've tried calling her a few times- Ana says I need to stop that. But I think I'm moving on from it. In the past two weeks, I swear I haven't stopped moving, and I've loved every second of it. It's like Ana was sent to help keep me busy and get over Jane. Since the karaoke bar, we've gone bowling where I absolutely killed her… she wouldn't talk to me for a full hour after that. She swears I cheated. She dragged me to a carnival on the other side of town for funnel cake and spinning tea cups… Why would anyone want to do that? 'Because it's fun, Christian!' I can hear her voice as clear as day. We went go-karting something I definitely haven't done since I was a teenager, hiking, to the driving range- the things that girl can do with a 9 iron. And last weekend, we went out on the Grace. I have to say I felt some sense of pride with how impressed she was._ I'm sitting at my desk sporting the biggest smile on my face thinking about how much fun we had.

 _ **Flashback:**_

" _Christian this boat is incredible!" She jumps up and down when we board the boat._

" _Thanks, I like it" I look around and see Mac getting everything ready to take her out._

" _We're going out? Like out there!" She points towards the water and I can see the excitement in her eyes._

" _Yep"_

 _We are out in open water when I find her leaning against the railing looking out. "What are you looking at?" I ask coming up behind her before leaning against the rail next to her._

" _That house" she says pointing to one of the houses lining the shore. "It's beautiful." She turns to look at me and smiles. "Thank you for bringing me. This was so… cool" she says with a grin and in that moment I have to take a step back because I feel the overwhelming want to take her in my arms… and do what- I have no idea._

" _You want to bring her home?"_

" _Me?"_

 _I look around before looking back at her. "I don't see anyone else around?" I say throwing her words back at her._

" _I see you're working on your sarcasm. Well done, Mr. Grey. You're well on your way to earning an A in Smart Assery 101"_

 _I laugh before I grab her hand and yank her towards the wheel._

I'm pulled from my thoughts by Andrea's voice filling my office. "Mr. Grey, Miss Steele is here to see you"

"Great, send her in" _About time, I'm starving._ Last week, I put Ana on my 'no wait' list. Meaning anytime she calls, she was to be put right through. And whenever she's here I need to be notified immediately. Not that she ever drops by on a whim, but in case she did I don't want her to think I'm too busy for her.

"Hola amigo" she says walking in with her face buried in her phone.

"Are we Spanish today?"

"Si! It's taco Tuesday and the trucks are out!" She says as she continues to scan her phone.

"What are you doing?" I say wondering why she hasn't looked up.

"Stalking the tweets! I'm trying to figure out where it is, those fuckers move every week"

"What moves?"

"The truck!"

"What truck?"

"The taco truck, keep up!" she stamps her foot and I chuckle.

"Ana, I'm not eating food from a fucking truck"

She looks up at me with wide eyes. "I take that to mean you've never eaten food from a food truck?"

"No?"

"WHAT!?" She pauses. "You know what, I don't even know why I'm surprised." She says shaking her head.

"That's how you get food poisoning"

"Not all the time! You have to go to the right ones. I'm not suggesting you just pick any old truck and decide to get a rare burger! This one was featured in Seattle Nooz, it's legit I swear!"

"I don't know, Ana"

"Have I ever steered you wrong before?"

I look at her as she looks back at me with those piercing blue eyes that do something to me whenever I hold her gaze too long. "Fine"

"Yayyy!" She cheers. "You have to come back to the office?"

"It's 2 in the afternoon, yes I have to come back to the office" I say giving her a look.

"Fine, noooo margaritas then" she says as we walk out of my office and onto my floor. _I love when Ana comes to visit but I swear everyone stops and stares whenever she's here. It's almost like they can't believe I have a friend. Or maybe a friend that looks like Ana. Or maybe someone who is so unlike me. She can be so goddamn loud sometimes. I swear her laugh can be heard around_ _the world_.

XXXXXXXXXXX

I'm sitting at my desk at home staring at a report and I can't seem to focus on the words in front of me. I've literally reread the same sentence five times and I have no idea what it says. _Why can't I focus?_ I slam the paper down before leaning back in my chair and rubbing my face. I know Ana is on a deadline so I'm trying to not to bother her but I really wouldn't mind her company. I open up the drawer on the side of my desk and pull out the pictures from the photo booth at the carnival. The first three pictures are silly and funny, and so is the fourth but I find myself staring at it longer. We had run out of things to do so she grabbed my jaw, making my lips pucker and creating a fish face illusion and plants a kiss on my cheek. At the time, I didn't think anything of it but seeing it in black and white.. well I don't know what I'm feeling. I crack a smile and find myself reaching for my phone.

She answers after one ring. "Hey what's shakin?"

I grin at her greeting. Whenever I call her she always answers with something cheeky and it never fails to make me smile. "Nothing much, how's the article coming?"

"Not bad." I can hear her typing through the phone and I know I should let her go so she can focus but I enjoy talking to her.

"What's it about?"

"So remember last week when we were out to dinner and we saw a couple on what appeared to be like a first date or maybe second and they were literally sitting across from each other not talking while on their phones?"

I do remember that, Ana had dragged me to the goddamn _Cheesecake Factory_ because apparently nowhere else in Seattle can make this pasta dish. I really need to take her to a real Italian restaurant. I cradle my phone to my ear to look up best Italian in the city on my computer. "Yeah I remember.. I can't believe you can't find better pasta than at the _Cheesecake Factory_ by the way"

"Says the man who ate over half of it"

I don't even have a response to that. I have to admit it was pretty decent. "So the article..?" I say changing the subject.

"Oh! How social media and the internet and smartphones are ruining the art of dating. It's been done a million and one times but my editors keep bugging me to weigh in. Since I'm a millennial and evidently we are the root of all evil and this problem."

"It's what I keep hearing" I say as I look through the menu at _Avantis_. I keep hearing rave reviews but I haven't had a chance to go.

"Which I think is pretty ridiculous if you ask me. I mean yes Tinder and all those dating sites certainly don't represent the idea of romance and love but they act like we are the downfall of humanity! Technology has changed the game and people just need to get on board because it's only going to keep changing."

"Amen" I say jokingly as it seems like she's really getting into it.

"Shut up. Just pisses me off!"

"Well when do you think you'll be done? Or at least calling it a wrap?"

"I don't know yet, why? Dreadfully bored without my sparkling self entertaining you?"

 _Basically_. "Just wanted to see if you wanted to hangout, don't be so full of yourself" I joke.

"Well we can but…" she trails off and I wonder if she has plans. "It's the _Game of Thrones_ season premiere tonight. And I've been waiting for a goddamn year! It's going to be sooooo good" she sings.

"Well you can watch it here?" She's silent for a moment and I wonder if she's trying to find a way to tell me that she doesn't want to. "Or not"

"No no.. it's just… you don't watch it"

"So?"

"Well… you.. kinda talk too much"

"What?" I ask. _She has the nerve of saying I talk too much?_ "Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black"

She giggles. "Yes but I don't talk during _Game of Thrones_.. Ever. You would not shut the fuck up when I made you watch "The Notebook" last week. I can still hear you? Who's that? Who are these old people? And how come we keep flashing to these young people? Are they going to see each other again?" I hear her groan. "You can't do that during Game of Thrones"

I laugh. _I'm not going to lie, I did have a lot of questions but I was kinda doing it to piss her off at the same time._ "Okay I promise I'll be quiet"

"You swear"

"Yes"

"Cross your heart?"

"Yes good God girl!" I say rolling my eyes.

"Fiiiiiiiine I'll be there in like an hour"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I hear the ding of the elevator indicating that Ana is here. Last week, I gave Ana all of the codes to get into the garage and for the elevator. To think I gave them to her after two weeks when people I've known for years don't even have them. _What is it about this girl that has me breaking all the rules?_

"Hiiiii!" I hear her call out to me as she heads to my kitchen.

I walk in behind her to see her pulling food out of a bag. "You brought food?"

"Just snacks I know your 'I don't believe in junk food' ass doesn't have." I see her pull out Doritos, popcorn and M&Ms and I shake my head.

"No I just eat like an adult"

"Adults don't eat chips or chocolate? Well excuuuuuuse me" she says snapping her fingers.

I roll my eyes at her before looking behind her to see a small duffle bag. "You plan on staying?"

She turns to see what I'm looking at before meeting my gaze. "Well in case it got to be too late and I didn't feel like driving home.. I figured it would be okay? I know you've got at least one guest room in this palace"

 _I'm happy that she feels comfortable enough with me to just assume she could sleep here. God knows I wouldn't want her driving home late at night._ "Of course you can stay" I say bumping my shoulder against hers.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After two viewings of the season premiere of _Game of Thrones_ because "IT WAS THAT DAMN GOOD", a few bottles of wine, half a bag of M &M's and two bowls of popcorn, Ana was wired. "Okay you can talk now." She says turning to me.

I smile at her as I take a sip of wine and shake my head. "I don't even know where to begin"

"So good, right? Thanks for being quiet" she smiles. "Do you have to go to sleep now?" She pouts. "I guess I can work on my article if you do"

I shake my head. "Nope"

She takes a sip of her wine before looking at me with a grin. "Do you want to play a game?"

"What kind of a game?"

"Got any tequila?"

I raise an eyebrow at her and I know this is not going to end any way but me hungover at work tomorrow. We are sitting on the floor across from each other with a bottle of tequila sitting on my coffee table between us and two shot glasses. "It's like truth or dare but no dares. We take turns asking questions, if you don't want to answer, you do a shot"

I narrow my eyes at her. "Okay deal."

"I'll start." She says taking a sip of her wine. "When is the last time you contacted Jane?"

My mouth drops open and I feel slightly embarrassed already. "What…" I start.

"I know you've called her, even when I TOLD you to stop. Delete her number, block her! It is not healthy!"

"I haven't called her since the last time… a few days after we met. When you yelled at me and told me to stop calling"

"I didn't exactly yell"

"Whatever, my turn" I say. "Tell me about your family"

"That's not a question"

"Okay… are you an only child?"

"Why.. do I seem like one?"

"A bit" I chuckle and she laughs along with me.

"Yes I am… and to not waste another question… My parents live in Montesano. They have been together for 30 years. They are… nauseating." She laughs. "I swear they still act like lovesick teenagers. Probably why I'm so screwed up about love"

"What makes you say that?"

"Because I want a love like my parents. And… I'm beginning to think it just doesn't exist" she shrugs and I can tell by her body language that this is not a conversation she's interested in having. _But she's pushed me to talk about things in the past… it's her turn in the hot seat._

"You didn't have that love with the long term boyfriend?"

"It's not your turn!"

"It's a two part question" I say pushing her to continue.

"Can't even follow simple rules" she grumbles under her breath and sighs. "I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if I wanted so badly what my parents had that I pushed too hard. Fabricated this perfect relationship in my head… made myself believe that things were perfect between us when they really weren't. He wasn't an awful guy… he was just awful for me"

"What did he do?"

"He just didn't get me. He thought my column was a waste of time. I started it in college when I was 19 right around the time we started dating. Back then it was just a silly blog I linked to my Facebook. Then it kind of took on a life of it's own. I was friends with the editor of my college newspaper and she snuck one of my articles in once and it exploded around campus. At first he thought it was interesting, probably from all the attention it brought me. But as we got older he would say it wouldn't take me anywhere. It was pointless, and that I needed a real job. If only he could see me now" she scoffs before taking a sip of her wine. "My parents didn't like him. Which should have been a red flag, but when you're nineteen you think you know everything, right?" I nod at her to keep her going. "He was… hurtful" she says sadly.

"Did he hurt you… physically?" I ask and it's taking everything in me to keep my temper in check. _If this guy laid a finger on her, he's a dead man._

"No." She smiles at me. "Why do I have a feeling you were going to kill him if he did?"

"I hate the idea of anyone hurting you" I say and I mean it. She looks at me before sinking her teeth into her bottom lip and looks away.

"It's definitely my turn now" She says. "Tell me about these submissives. How many have you had?"

I clear my throat nervously. "Fifteen"

"Wow, you've been busy. Where do you meet them?"

"What happened to one question?"

"Really?" She says raising an eyebrow at me.

"Fine. Clubs, ummm and I had… someone kind of vet them for me"

"Like a pimp?" She asks her eyes widening.

"I didn't call her that but-"

"Her? Interesting."

"She was a friend"

"Was?"

"Yes, we parted ways recently"

"Why?" I look back and forth between her and the shot in front of me and choose the shot downing it quickly and letting the sharp fluid go burn my throat. "Oh really?" Ana asks. "Sensitive subject?"

"I took the shot, doesn't that mean I don't have to talk about it?" I ask willing her to drop it.

"Fine"

I narrow my eyes at her wondering what to ask her next. "Why do you like me?"

"What?"

"Why do you… you're young and fun and people want to be around you all the time. You have this positive energy. But you hangout with me? A grumpy old man trapped in a 27 year old man's body"

"You're not grumpy"

"Not towards you… but I'm serious, I know your best friend has to be wondering where the hell you've been lately"

"No she's in a fantasy world right now. It's like this when she's dating a new guy. She comes up for air right around week 3. So we've got time" She laughs but I can see the thought doesn't sit quite right with her.

"So my question…?" I say staring at her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

APOV

 _I stare back at the man that has become one of my favorite people in such a short period of time. But how do I say that? How do I say that I find him intriguing and fascinating? That I'm drawn to him in a way that I've never felt before? That the past two weeks have been the most fun I've had in months? That I like his no bullshit tough exterior but that he can still goof around, at least with me?_ "I don't know, Christian. You're a breath of fresh air. You're... different."

"My brother thinks I'm boring. That I work too much."

"You're not boring. And you do work too much" I giggle. I pull the cork from the wine bottle and pour us each a glass. "Since we aren't taking these shots…" I trail off before setting the bottle back down. I furrow my brow wondering how to phrase the next question. "Do you trust me?"

He looks at me questioningly urging me to clarify. "Do you think… I mean I know I've signed an NDA but… you do know that I would never tell anyone anything you tell me, right?"

"Why are you asking me that?"

"I just... " I look down at a loss for words when I feel his hand resting over mine and he squeezes gently.

I look up and for the first time I see how kind his eyes are. "I ripped up the NDA, Ana. I trust you more than anyone"

I didn't expect his response to resonate with me so much but his words words meant everything. "What happened to you?" I say so quietly I wonder if I'll have to repeat it. He stares at me for a second and I wonder if he's going to refuse the question when I see him down the shot. I nod in response and go to ask him a different one when he puts his hand up.

"Just give me a second" He rubs his face before pouring another shot. He is about to down it when I stop him.

"Wait a minute, slow down" I say putting my hand over the shot. "You don't have to tell me."

"I just don't talk about it much. My therapist knows and obviously my parents.." he trails off. "I was adopted at age four, by the Greys. My brother Elliott, myself and my sister Mia, we are all adopted. That's public knowledge, not sure if you knew that." I shake my head no.

"My birth mother was a crack addict and a… prostitute." I know Christian well enough to know that he's not going to want to see me cry but the tequila mixed with this new information has the tears building up in my throat. "She had this pimp and he would beat her, constantly." He pauses and stares at a spot on the table. "He would beat me too. I don't like people to touch me on my chest or my back because that's where he would put his cigarettes out." I can't control the gasp that escapes me and I want nothing more than to take this man in my arms and hold him tight.

"Christian…" I start and he stops me.

"She overdosed one day. I stared at her for hours. I thought she was asleep. I kept wondering when she would wake up. And I was starving. I remember dragging one of the chairs to the freezer and there was frozen peas in there. I ate those. It took them three days for them to find me… and her. No one looked for us for three days"

I blow out a breath I didn't realize I was holding and reach for his hand. "Christian"

"Don't pity me"

"I don't pity you. But I would be lying if I said my heart didn't hurt for what you went through. I'm sorry you went through all of that. I am sorry about your mom. You've overcome so much despite your past. What you're seeing on my face is admiration, Christian. Not pity. You should be proud of yourself. Not many people could have done what you did. It's extraordinary"

He narrows his eyes at me and nods his head. "Thank you"

"I want to hug you now, but… I don't know how that would work"

"No hugs" he says shaking his head. "But I'll take the sentiment"

"No one has ever hugged you before? Ever?" I ask.

"Grace, my mother a few times when I was younger. And Mia, my little sister. She was just a baby when my parents adopted her, so I knew she was harmless."

I furrow my brows together. " _I'm_ harmless"

He chuckles. "Yeah.. you are. But Mia was an infant and I just grew up knowing she couldn't hurt me. I grew up being able to bear her touch"

I nod, still not feeling great about his answer. _I would never hurt you, either!_ "I see"

He taps the table in front of me to get my attention. "Don't make that face, I won't even let my mother touch me"

 _He's right, stop being such a baby._ "You're right. Sorry"

"I find it endearing that you want to hug me." He pauses for a second. "Alright enough with the heavy, where do you see yourself in ten years?"

"Hmmm…" I say tapping my chin. "No one has really asked me that before. Maybe writing for a magazine like _Harpers Bazaar_ or _Vanity Fair_. _Cosmo_ keeps reaching out but… I don't want that. My column is about so much more than just sex. It's about more than just love! I mean predominantly love. But… it's also about life. I also hope to be married." I shrug. "I'll be 35 at that point… maybe a kid or two? I don't know." I shrug. "You ever hear that saying "We plan, God laughs?" I'm not particularly religious, but I do believe in God and… I do think that there's some plan out there even bigger than what we could even imagine for ourselves"

He nods. "I can respect that"

The shots have long been forgotten and I am now lying on his couch while he is still sitting on the floor in front of me. "It's your turn" I say sleepily.

"You're about to fall asleep"

"Am not"

"Okay." He says softly. "Do you think there's one person out there for everyone?"

"Like a soul mate?"

"Yeah"

"I don't know. Maybe? That's scary though right? Like of all the people in the world there's only one person for me? What if they're in like… Finland?"

"That's a random country" he says laughing.

"Exactly, that's my point! If I have to search the whole planet to find the one…" I say fighting my eyes from closing.

"You may never find them" he finishes my thought.

"Scary to think about." I feel a surge of energy and rub my eye, when I feel my mascara I groan.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"I forgot to take my makeup off." I say sitting up. "I'll be back"

I had already changed, so I brush my teeth and remove my makeup before heading back to the TV room to find Christian off the floor and on the couch. "Do you want to go to bed?"

"No, do you?" I ask.

"Well it is 2 am"

"You should go!" I say knowing he has to be up for work in a few hours.

"I didn't say that"

I sit back down and rest my head against the back of the couch. "Do you really think love is overrated?" I say looking over at him.

He looks at me for a second before I see his lips give me a small smile. "No… No I don't think it's overrated"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

CPOV

My eyes fly open and I blink them several times trying to moisten them as they feel dryer than the Sahara. I am in desperate need of some water and I feel something leaning against me which is making my body feel like I'm overheating. I'm leaning against the intersection of my L shaped couch, my feet stretched out one way when I look to my right and find the source of the heat. Ana is passed out cold in a ball her head leaning against my arm. I reach for my phone slowly trying not to wake her and see that it's 6 am. I've only been asleep four hours, but they were certainly a peaceful four hours. This is definitely the most rested I've felt maybe ever, and to think it was while sharing a couch with someone. When I slept in the same bed as Jane, I did sleep okay, but I was worried about hurting her in the night so I did wake up a few times. I don't think I ever even hit a deep sleep. Waking up this morning I almost feel disoriented I was out so cold. I shake my head and start thinking about all that I have to do today. I wasn't planning to go into the office until later this afternoon especially once I knew I was spending Sunday night with Ana so I toss the phone down towards my feet and lay my head back against the back of the couch. I turn my head and watch Ana sleep for a good five minutes. She looks so happy and content, even in sleep. It must be nice to be that happy all the time. The last thing I think before sleep reclaims me is whether maybe, just maybe she's teaching me to be happy too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

APOV

I'm in Christian's kitchen making breakfast when I hear a noise behind me. Gail had already been around, and once she saw me cooking she went about her business. _I really like Gail, she's sweet and kind hearted and ever since I started coming around she always has some sort of sweet treat around. She made chocolate fudge cupcakes last week that almost made me orgasm upon tasting them._ I turn around and see Christian sitting at the breakfast bar smiling at me. "Morning sleepyhead" I chirp. "Ya hungry?"

"Famished"

"Awesome, I made omelettes and bacon."

"You're an angel"

I giggle. "What time are you going to work?"

"Well I was thinking…" He starts.

I interrupt. "That's never a good thing"

"Shut up" he scoffs at me. "Do you want to hear my idea or what?"

"By all means" I say waving my fork I've been using to flip the bacon.

"I've been thinking… so I had a meeting today, but it got moved to tomorrow and I have a pretty easy day. We just finalized the deal on a huge merger… I suppose I could take the day off. With the exception of a few conference calls"

"Wowwww" I say. "Christian Trevelyan Grey taking a day off?" I whistle. "I'm impressed. You've been hanging out with me two weeks and you're already cuttin loose. Stick with me, kid. I might change your life" I say before turning back to the bacon.

"You already are" I hear and when I turn around I see a hint of pink in his cheeks and I wonder if he meant to say that outloud. I go back to my cooking and change the subject.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I've showered, blow dried my hair and gotten dressed for the day. I have no idea what Christian and I are going to do but at the moment he's on a call, so I'm keeping myself busy with an impossible level of Angry Birds. After about twenty minutes of the same level, I realize I left my my watch in the TV room. I admit defeat for now and head up the stairs to the room. _I must have been tipsier than I thought when we came up here last night because all these doors look the same from the hall._ I turn to the right and open the door and see it's just a bathroom. I close the door and open the one on the left and see the room is pitch black. Maybe it's this one. I flip the switch to turn the light on and all of the air leaves my lungs when I realize what I'm staring at. _This must be his playroom! Oh my God._ I close the door behind me not to alert Gail that I'm in here and begin to look around. The walls are a deep red with wooden floors. There's a bed in the middle of the room with stark white linens attached to a wooden headboard and footboard. I look to one wall and see whips, riding crops and canes and other things that I don't recognize hanging on several hooks. There's so much to look at I don't even know where to look first. Something catches my eyes in a glass case so I make my way over slowly. I start to open the door when I hear my name called by someone who is obviously very close by. _Close. Too close. Shit._ I turn around and see Christian standing in the entrance, shocked and my mouth drops open. "I- I forgot my watch"

"And you thought it was in here?" He asks staring at me with a look I can't quite pinpoint.

"I forgot which room was the TV room and I-"

"Thought you'd just go snooping through my house?"

"No I-"

"Are you kidding me, Ana? I told you last night I trusted you and you go and do this?"

"No I just-"

"Just what? Needed something for your column? "Billionaire Bachelor Beats Broads"? Pics to come?" He shouts and I feel my heart starting to hurt that he would even think I could do something like that. _Doesn't he know how much I care about him?_ "Do you want to see the exact spot when Jane realized what a monster I was? Where I beat her with a belt that left welts on her!? Maybe where I realized Susannah had to go to the hospital after some suspension play gone bad?

"Christian I would never-you know I would never do anything like that" I can't even stop the tears escaping from my eyes and they are flying down my cheeks in an instant. I hate crying in front of people but I hate the idea of Christian being mad at me even more. "I'm sorry" I whisper. "Please don't hate me. I opened the door thinking it was the TV room and then I was just… curious" I say through my tears. "I shouldn't have invaded your privacy and I'm sorry!" I put my hands over my eyes and I'm shocked when I feel his arms around me.

"Alright, alright. Stop crying." He rubs my back gently and it does nothing for the tears flying down my face. He pulls me out of the playroom to sit on a bench that he has in the hallway. "I saw you in there and I snapped, I thought that maybe this was all a game and that you had tricked me. That it was all to get information on me. Get me to let my guard down and then expose me. I told you I ripped up the NDA last night and I panicked"

I wipe the tears from my eyes. "I wouldn't- Christian we're friends. Anything you tell me… I would never tell anyone and I would certainly never write about it in my column."

"I know. I assumed the worst"

"Do you really think so little of me?" I ask my lip trembling.

"I think the world of you" he says with a small smile. "I just don't trust really anyone. And for a split second I thought maybe I had made a mistake letting you in so much"

"It's not a mistake"

"I know"

"You're not a monster, Christian" I say referring to what he said in the playroom. "You have such a big heart, I wish you would let people see it"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

CPOV

Ana and I are at dinner later that night when I hear my name being called and my brother Elliott and Kate Kavanagh walking towards me. _Fuck_. My family now knows that Jane and I are no longer together. My family understood and while they were disappointed they just want me to be happy. Kate, on the other hand I know is less than pleased over it. I look over at Ana, giving her a look and I think she understands perfectly, knowing that my brothers girlfriend is Jane's best friend.

"What the hell? I've been calling you!" Elliott says. "I called your office today and Andrea said you took the day off? YOU take days off?" I can tell he's dying to ask about Ana but he's trying to play it cool.

"It's a new thing"

I look at Ana and smile before turning my attention back to my brother. "Elliott, Kate, this is my friend Ana. Ana this is my brother Elliott and his girlfriend Kate"

Ana is out of her seat in an instant and gives Elliott and Kate both a hug. "I've heard a lot about you both. Elliott's eyes widen at her gesture and I roll my eyes. _Only Ana._ Kate seems less than amused as I see her looking Ana up and down.

"Really? We've heard nothing about you" Kate says shooting daggers at me.

"Kate.." Elliott warns.

"Don't. Are we really not addressing the elephant in the room? You broke my best friends heart and now less than a month later you're with some other girl? She's in love with you!"

"Kate this is really not the time or place" I bark at her. _God Elliott what do you see in this aggressive, obnoxious girl!?_

"You're the rebound girl" she says to Ana and I can tell Ana wants to put her in her place so badly but I know she's worried about putting me in a tough spot with my family which includes Kate as she's with my brother.

"Alright, we are going to head out" Elliott says pulling her away from the table.

"Kate, you don't know what the hell you're doing about. Ana and I are friends. And I would appreciate if you would watch your attitude and don't take your issues with me out on her. She's done nothing wrong"

Kate's mouth drops open before looking back and forth between Ana and myself before shaking her head. "Unbelievable" she says before storming off.

"She was out of line" I bark at my brother and he puts his hands up in defeat.

"I'll talk to her." He looks at Ana and smiles sadly. "I'm sorry, Ana"

"Don't sweat it. There really is nothing going on between us but I can see how it looks and she's his ex's best friend. By default, she has to hate me. It's girl code; I respect that" she nods and in that moment I wonder if despite everything she might actually be the most level-headed person in my life.

"Bro, I'll call you later. Answer the phone" he says sternly with a touch of humor. And with that he's gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

EPOV

 _Well I'll be damned. My little brother is in love._ I'm walking towards my table and see Kate furiously texting on her phone. _Wonder who._ I sit down across from her and give her a look.

"Don't even. Who the hell is that girl?"

"Not your business, babe"

"It is my business, if it involves Jane."

"Okay but it doesn't. Jane is in Georgia"

"Licking her wounds after your brother broke her heart!"

"We don't even know what happened. We just know they broke up"

"And that she's hurt! I wonder if he was sleeping with her behind Jane's back. Bitch!"

"Kate. ENOUGH"

"It's not fair! Jane is so sweet and sensitive and kind she wouldn't hurt a fly! And she gave your brother her virginity and… he just tosses her aside like trash? It's bullshit"

"We don't know that that is what even happened, Kate."

"I can't believe she hugged me. She knows what she's doing. Manipulative bitch. Jane is my best friend, Elliott. I'm going to be on her side. Period"

I sigh. _Christian, what have you gotten yourself into?_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

K POV

I look at the words on my screen, willing the bubbles to appear indicating that she's typing. _We need to talk, and we need to do it now._

 **Yo girl, when are you coming home?**


	4. Meet The Greys

CPOV

I'm sitting at my desk at work when I hear Andrea's voice through the intercom. "Mr. Grey?"

"Yes, Andrea?"

"Your brother is here"

I roll my eyes. _I've been avoiding his calls ever since Ana and I ran into him and Kate two days ago but I'm going to have to talk to him eventually. Especially now that I have been summoned to my parents house this weekend. I was actually thinking of dragging Ana with me. I would really like for my family to meet her. She's important to me and I think that they would really like her. Besides, having her with me will make the time pass so much quicker._

"Send him in" I answer tersely.

I've barely finished my reply when Elliott comes storming into my office. "WHY haven't you been taking my calls?"

"Hello to you too. I've been busy"

"Bull shit you're avoiding me!"

"What do you want El?" I am already tired of this conversation so I would like him gone as soon as possible.

He sighs before sitting down in one of the chairs on the other side of my desk. "You know exactly what I want and why I am here. Don't play dumb. I want to know about Ana."

I lean back in my chair. "What do you want to know?"

"Where did she come from? Last I hear from you, you were devastated over Jane. And then you fall off the face of the Earth for the last two weeks and then I run into you with this unbelievably gorgeous brunette claiming she's your _friend_?"

"Okay first of all, I don't appreciate the insinuation that she's _not_ my friend? Because that's what she is. What exactly is your question?"

"Okay first where did you meet her?"

"At a bar a few weeks ago"

"A bar?"

"Yeah I got drunk and she was there and-"

"So you've already slept with her?"

"What?!" I exclaim. I try to ignore the excitement that coursed through me thinking about Ana in that capacity but it's no use. Before I can even forget the question, I have a vision of myself hovering over Ana while we are both naked in my bed. _Jane certainly did a number on me, I didn't even automatically think of her in the playroom?_ _I shake my head willing the thoughts away. What the fuck was that?_ "No. We talked and…" I trail off recalling that first night. _From what I remember, and what Ana tells me it was quite enjoyable._ "El, we're friends."

"Oh really. Tell me more about this… friend"

"Ana is…" I trail off and I wonder how much I want to divulge to my brother about this woman who has single-handedly changed my life. "Incredible. She gets me and… she taught me how to have fun… Enjoy my life. I've spent years trying to fix my issues so that I had a shot at being happy and she came in and turned it upside down with karaoke and funnel cake and tequila and suddenly I feel like a different person. I'm happy for the first time… maybe ever"

"Hold up, she got YOU to do karaoke?" Elliott says staring at me with wide eyes.

I snort. "It wasn't my finest moment"

He laughs along with me before leaning forward in his seat. "Tell me more"

"About what?"

"Ana!"

"What do you want to know?"

"I don't know... I've never seen you like this. So… happy"

"I owe her a lot" I say with a smile.

"We should all hangout soon"

I shoot him a look. "You think I want to subject her to Kate again?" _I wonder if there's a way to ask Elliott not to bring Kate this weekend so that Ana doesn't have to be around her. But then again, maybe Kate will be on her best behavior being around my parents._

"Maybe without Kate. We can all get dinner sometime. I want to get to know her"

 _Why does he want to get to know her? To sleep with her? To try and date her? No, he absolutely cannot date or fuck or anything with Ana. No fucking way._ I narrow my eyes in question and shake my head. "No Elliott"

"No what?"

"No you can't try and sleep with her, she's off limits. I mean it. I'm not having you screw up my friendship with her because you can't keep it in your pants" I spit out.

"Whoa whoa whoa" he says putting his hands up. "I'm not, I swear. I just want to get to know her"

"Why?"

"Because she's important to you. And that means she's important to me"

"Fine. I'll think about it"

He nods and the room is silent when I notice Elliott eyeing me. Before I have the chance to ask him what the problem was he blurts out the question, "So have you told her?"

"Ana? Told her what?"

"That you're in love with her" He asks raising an eyebrow at me.

"You're out of your mind. I'm not in love with her! She's my best friend!" I look at my computer screen to avoid my brother's gaze. "She's my only friend. The only person I trust, aside from family" He doesn't say anything for a while and I wonder what he's getting at. _I don't love Ana. We are very close I'll admit, but it's not love! See this is why men and women can't be friends. Everyone thinks it's more than what it is!_ "Ana is amazing, and the man that gets to be with her is the luckiest man in the world but.." I trail off and I kind of wonder what the point is I'm trying to make. "But she doesn't see me that way." I say and just as I see the recognition cross his face I realize my slip of the tongue. _Now he probably thinks that I can't admit any feelings for her because I fear rejection._

"And how do you see her?" _Yep, knew it._

"I don't see her that way either, Elliott. Why can't you accept the fact that we are friends!?"

"BECAUSE!" He bellows before he stands up slamming his hands down on my desk. "Because I saw the way you looked at her. I've listened to you speak about her for the past ten minutes! You just bit my head off when you thought I was trying to get with her! God, Christian you should have seen the look on your face! No one has heard from you in two weeks and now I find out you've been spending all your time with her going to karaoke? You took a day off from work? This is girl is changing you, man… for the better. She's bringing you to life. She makes you happy. And at the end of the day, that's all that matters. Why can't you see what's staring you right in the face?"

I rub my temples willing this conversation to be over. "All of that may be true but it doesn't mean I'm in love with her"

I think he's at a loss for words when he looks down and shakes his head. "No" He smiles at me. " it just means you haven't realized it yet." He starts walking towards the door before he turns back to look at me. "Bring her to brunch on Saturday. I'm dying to see mom's take on this" And before I can reply he's gone. _Fucking hell._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm sitting on Ana's couch waiting for her to finish getting ready so we can head to my parent's house for brunch. It took a little bit of convincing and the promise that "I owed her BIG", but she finally agreed to come to brunch at my parent's house. I made my brother swear to be on his best behavior and to keep Kate in line. I also made him promise not to get mom all riled up. Ana and I are friends and the last thing I need is Mom gushing over her like she'll be giving her grandchildren within the next five years.

"Do I look okay?" I look up from my phone to see Ana wearing a black and white sleeveless sundress under a wide brimmed sun hat and black open toe wedges. She spins around and something catches my eye. Today is the first really warm day of the summer and it's the first I've seen her without anything on her arms or shoulders.

"Wait what is that?" I say standing up and walking towards her. She looks down at herself thinking I'm referring to her dress when I stand behind her and find what I'm looking for. On her back right shoulder blade are three birds. They have such intricate detail and are very well done. I touch her shoulder and run my thumb over the ink and she shudders under my touch. "Sorry" I say. "These are really good"

She looks back at me and gives me a small smile. "Thank you"

I realize my hand is still on her so I remove it and she turns around to face me. "I didn't know you have a tattoo." I say, intrigued that there is so much I don't know about her. And so much I _want_ to know. "What do they mean?"

"Birds represent freedom and hope. I got it during a period of my life when I was learning to spread my wings and fly and all that" she says going towards the kitchen to grab the peanut butter pie she insisted she had to bring because 'one should never go anywhere empty handed!' "I have two more"

"Three tattoos? Can I see?" She comes around her island in the kitchen and stands in front of me and looks down. She points one perfectly manicured downwards and I can see the words ' _Look At The Moon_ ' with a few stars written across the side of her foot. "And your third one?"

She shakes her head. "It's somewhere… private" she giggles.

My eyes roam her body freely trying to figure out where these tattoos could be. "What is it?"

"The Latin words _Acta Non Verba_ " she begins to say what it means when I interrupt her.

"Deeds not words?"

"You know Latin?" She says staring at me with wide eyes.

"A bit"

"Is there anything you don't know?"

I laugh. "I'm sure there's something out there" _More about you, Miss Steele._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I am driving us to my parents place in Bellevue when Ana reaches for my phone. "Got any decent music on here?" She says tapping the music icon.

"I think so"

She's scrolling through my music and narrows her eyes. "There's some decent tracks on here but what's with all the classical shit?"

"I like it. It's comforting"

"How do you get down to it?"

"Get down?" I say turning to look at her.

"You know.. Dance?"

"I… don't?"

"You don't dance?"

"No?"

"Not even in your penthouse when noone is watching?" She does a shimmy in her seat and I can't help but laugh.

"No, Anastasia I don't dance at all. I mean sure I can waltz, and I actually do a decent tango"

"A tango, huh?" She says as she continues to scroll through my music, not looking up at me.

"Mmmhm"

"I don't know how to tango"

"It's easy"

"Only thing I know about it is it takes two to do it" she giggles and I laugh along with her. "Will you teach me?"

"To tango?"

"Yeah, I've always wanted to learn"

I turn to look at her before turning back to the road. "I'll do it." She smiles a smile so bright that it almost blinds me. "For a price"

Her smile fades. "You're going to charge me? Sheesh you don't make enough money, Grey?"

"No not money."

"Then what?"

"I'll think of something" I say before shooting her a wink as we pull up to my parents house.

We get out of the car and I am shocked to see my sister standing on the steps leaning against one of the pillars.

"Mia?" I say as we get closer. "What are you doing out here?"

"Waiting for you to get here" she says before turning her attention to Ana. _Of course._ "You must be Ana" she says.

"That's me" she smiles and Mia looks down to the pie in her hands and then at me.

"I brought pie" she says. "Peanut butter. Christian said no one was allergic. It's kind of like my specialty"

"I love fucking peanut butter" she squeals. "And I LOVE your column. You are fabulous" Mia grabs the pie from Ana and links an arm with her before walking into the house. "Don't worry about Kate either. She's all bark and no bite. She's going to die knowing I'm not on her side with all this bullshit"

"Sides? I-I don't want anyone taking sides over me" Ana says.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

APOV

I walk through the foyer and my eyes widen as I take in my surroundings. _Wow, Ana you are so not in Kansas anymore. I mean Christian's penthouse is phenomenal of course but this is a home. A family home. And it's beautiful._ So beautiful I have to stop the gasp from escaping me. "You grew up here?" I say turning to look at Christian.

"Yep. This is home" he says placing a hand at my lower back and guiding me behind Mia through the foyer towards the living room. "Where is everyone?"

"Oh out on the patio. Mom wanted to eat outside. Want a mimosa?" Mia asks me and I nod vigorously. Mia disappears and Christian turns to me.

"There is nothing to worry about. Kate is going to be on her best behavior in front of my parents." He smiles at me before nudging my shoulders. "Besides, I got your back" he smiles and I start laughing. We walk through the house and I'm more stunned by each room I enter. We get to the patio and the view is breathtaking. I'm about to make a comment when I see a mass of blonde hair in a pink princess costume beelining for me.

"CHRISTIAN!" The blonde hair whisks past me and Christian kneels to capture her in his arms and stands up.

"Hey munchkin!" He says placing a kiss on her cheek and she immediately wraps her arms around his neck squeezing him tight and the visual does something to my ovaries. I never thought men with babies were particularly something to drop your panties over but Christian with this adorable blonde girl has my insides tingling. "I've missed you" he says to her and I melt. _Jesuuuuus_. "Can you say hi to my friend for me?" She turns her head to look at me and I am lost in her chocolate brown eyes.

She waves at me. "I'm Hallie"

"Hi Hallie, I'm Ana. I love your dress."

"It's AURORA!"

Christian looks at me confused and I smile. "Like Sleeping Beauty?"

"YEAH you know her? She's my favorite" She smiles.

"Really? She's sleeping the whole time? Belle is the best Disney princess."

"BELLE!? No way, that Beast is no prince!"

"He is too!"

Hallie kicks her legs to get out of Christian's arms and when she hits the ground she grabs my hand and pulls me towards the table. "We gotta talk. Bye Christian" she says and I giggle.

After about ten minutes of "arguing" with Christian's five year old cousin over who is the best Disney Princess of all, I look up to find an older woman moving towards me that I assume is Grace.

"Ana! I wish someone would have told me you got here" she says pulling me to my feet and into a hug. "I'm Grace. Thank you so much for coming"

"Oh.. thank you for having me. You have such a lovely home"

"Thank you, dear. I saw the pie, I hope Christian didn't make you bring that. You didn't need to bring anything!"

"He didn't. I wanted to"

"Auntie Grace, Ana thinks Belle is the best princess, tell her she's crazy"

"Hm, you know I am a fan of Belle too, Hals. Honey go find Uncle Carry, he's looking for you"

"Ohhh great, he has my dollar" she says skipping off.

"She's adorable" I say as I watch her take off back into the house.

"Yes, since none of my children seem to be in any rush to give me grandchildren I have to kidnap my sister's grandchildren." I take a sip of my mimosa. "Do you have children, Ana?"

I choke a little on my drink and begin to cough a little. I feel her hand on my back and I shake my head. "No.. no." I take another sip to kill the tickle in my throat.

"But you want them?"

"One day" I say tucking a hair behind my ear nervously. "Of course. But only if they're like Hallie" I smile. "She's a gem" I say as I watch her run back into Christian's arms and I blink my eyes a few times trying to remember this image. I turn back to Grace to find her studying me and I take another nervous sip.

"I have to say.. I was so excited when I heard Christian was bringing a woman today but he assured me you two were just friends"

"Yes" I smile. "We are great friends"

"Oh honey that's wonderful. He needs a good friend." I nod and I know that this isn't the end.  
"So do you have a boyfriend?"

"I-uhh" _Okay Christian and I totally should have created a code word or signal when I need saving. Like now. I feel like I'm talking to my mother._ "No ma'am"

"Oh my gosh, a beautiful, charming girl like you? How is that possible?"

"Haven't found the right one I guess?"

"Pity. But I'm sure the men are chasing you around like crazy" she says to me. "You should totally meet this resident from the hospital. He just-"

"Alright alright, what are we talking about over here?" I hear as Christian approaches us. _Thank God._

Grace fiddles with Christian's collar. "Oh nothing, just girl talk!" She says before floating away.

"What was that about?" Christian asks me.

"Apparently your mother wants to set me up with some doctor" I shrug before taking a sip of my drink.

"Absolutely not" he says immediately and my eyes widen at how quick he was to shut down the idea.

"What.. why?"

"I just… what does my mother know about who would be good for you?"

"I don't know.. Couldn't hurt though right?"

"There's the lady of the hour!" Christian is interrupted by Elliott draping an arm around me. "So glad you came, Ana." _I'll have to readdress this conversation with Christian. Last time I checked he was not the boss of me. Why does he care who I go out with?_

"Hi Elliott, good to see you again" I smile. I try to crane my neck to see if he brought that blonde nightmare with him but I don't see her.

"She'll behave. I made her promise" he says knowing who I am looking for and I nod.

"She better" Christian growls and right on schedule I see her approaching. _Be nice, Ana. Be nice. Bigger person. She's coming from a good place. Her best friend._ I'm repeating these thoughts in my head as to prevent myself from biting her head off when she inevitably steps out of line.

"Ana" Kate says.

"Hi Kate" I give her the usual girl once over and my eyes widen when I get to her feet. "Holy shit, great shoes" I mentally smack my head. _Don't compliment her, that makes you look ridiculous after how she acted last week. But whatever, those shoes are fly as fuck._

She looks taken aback by my compliment and stutters slightly before murmuring a simple "Thank you" she says before turning and walking away and towards the table.

"You may have just won her over" Elliott says teasingly. "She's crazy about her shoes"

I am seated at the table in between Christian and Hallie because 'I HAAAD TO' according to Hallie. Mia, Elliott and Kate are across from us and Grace and Carrick are on either end of the table.

"So Ana, I hear you're a writer?" Carrick says to me and I nod. I really hope this brunch isn't about to be the 'Ana Show' and they're all going to be rapid fire asking me questions.

"Yes, that's correct"

"Writers are brilliant people. Some of the most brilliant of our time. What do you write about?"

I bite down on my bottom lip. "Love"

"I can tell you a lot about that" Hallie interjects.

I smile and turn to her. "Really. Mind if I interview you?"

"Yeah! Have your people call my people" she says causing a round of laughs. She looks up from her food. "What?"

"What can you tell me about love?" I ask her.

"Well I love my mommy and daddy, and Auntie Grace and Uncle Carry, and Mimi, and Lelly and Christian of course" She takes a huge bite of her pancakes. "Then there are friends, like the girls from Kindercare. I love them, we're best friends. Like you and Christian." She says. "Friends that are like family… right?"

I smile at her and I nod. "You know you summed up in two sentences something it takes people years to figure out"

"And then there is love like mommy and daddy love… where you kiss all the time and have mommy daddy alone time and kids can't come in and there's funny noises and-"

"OOOOKAY Hallie" Grace says as Elliott, Mia and Christian all try and contain their laughs.

"Like Kate and Lelly!" She looks at me. "They kiss ALLLLL the time"

"Damn right!" Elliott says putting an arm around Kate and planting a kiss square on her mouth.

"Language!" Grace says.

"Damn" I hear Hallie whisper next to me and Carrick and I both chuckle as we are the closest to her.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"Your family is great, Christian." I say as we are walking along his gorgeous pool. _I have never seen a pool that looks quite like this. It's massive. There's no other way to describe it._

"They certainly seem to be taken with you" he says raising an eyebrow at me. "Not that I had any doubts"

"I'm a crowd pleaser what can I say?" I joke and before I can even think I feel myself propelling forward towards the water and I reach for something to anchor me to the cement. I think I grab a hold of something but it's no use and the next thing I know I'm hitting the water. I drop a few feet down when I hear a splash next to me as well and I knock into something in the water. I kick myself to the surface only to see Christian pushing his wet hair back. "What the hell!?"

I look to the left when I hear giggling and then see Hallie take off. "ELLIOTT I DID IT GIVE ME MY TWENTY DOLLARS!"

"I'm going to kill him" Christian says. "Are you okay?" He looks at me.

I look at him, and then down at myself at my soaking wet dress and my suede shoes that are definitely ruined, and then to his family that are sitting at the table staring at us in awe and I can't do anything but laugh. Hysterically. I'm laughing so hard that the tears are streaming out of my eyes. "Oh my God!" I wipe under my eyes and before long Christian is laughing with me. I reach for his shoulders and attempt to dunk him but he stands firm.

"Ah ah ah, Miss Steele." He wraps his arms around my waist so that I'll stop and only then do I see how close we are. I don't know what to do with my hands as I know he doesn't like anyone touching his chest so I let them hang by my side. My dress is clinging to me tightly and I wonder if he's noticed that my nipples have hardened under my dress.

"We should probably get out" I say needing some space from this man who's giving off so much heat despite the cool water. "You couldn't have tried to catch me, geeze Grey" I say as we walk up the stairs getting out of the pool.

"I tried, but it was too late and it sent me sailing in after you"

Mia greets us with towels. "That was great" she laughs. "I wasn't in on it, but that was truly the best thing I've seen all day… You alright?"

"Yep, fine. Just want to get out of these clothes" I say as I pull the dress from sticking completely to my skin.

"I have some clothes here you can borrow" Mia says as we follow her into the house. We are heading up the stairs when I see Hallie sitting there literally twiddling her thumbs. _This girl is hilarious._

"What happened?" I ask.

"I have to sit on the naughty step for pushing you"

"You deserve it!" Christian says furrowing his brow at her.

"Oh Christian stop, it was funny" I say putting my hand out to give her a high five. "You get your twenty bucks?"

She pulls it from her pocket and waves it at me. "You know it"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

CPOV

"Oh my God your room is so cute" Ana laughs as she takes in her surroundings. She's still drying her hair with the towel and I worry that she's cold and needs to get into a shower to warm up.

"You can use my shower, I'll go across the hall"

"Thank you" she says gripping Mia's clothes in her hands

"I'm sorry about my cousin"

"Don't worry about it"

"And about your shoes" I tell her

She shrugs. "No bigs"

"I'll replace them"

"I-" she starts. "I'll take you up on that"

"Good" I say. She stops laughing and for a moment I don't see my best friend but this beautiful woman who has somehow affected me deeper than anyone ever has. Her mascara has streaked down her face, and the rest of her face void of makeup and her hair is knotted and stringy from the water and yet I've never seen anyone more beautiful. Before I realize what I'm doing, I'm rubbing my thumb under her eye wiping the mascara away. "You're beautiful"

I see her swallow hard and capture that bottom lip with her teeth and I resist the urge to make her release it when she backs up. "How many mimosas have you had?" she giggles. "I'm freezing, going to go shower." She shivers and with that she's gone, leaving me with my very confused thoughts.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

EPOV

"Hey squirt" I say leaning against the wall.

"Don't talk to me! You got me on the naughty step" She says crossing her arms and making an angry face at me that makes me laugh.

"What do you expect, you pushed someone in the pool! Bonus, Christian going in after her, that was gold. Anyway, I'm busting you out of here" I say picking her up and sitting her on my shoulder.

"Auntie Grace is gonna be pissed"

I look up at her. "Where did you hear that word?"

"From you" she shrugs and I groan. _Her parents are going to kill me! AGAIN!_

"Why did I have to push Ana anyway? I ruined her pretty dress"

"It's okay. I just need things to move a little faster. Those two are killing me"

"Who?"

I set her down in the kitchen on the counter and pluck a grape from one of the million trays of food my mother prepares when she hosts a brunch. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Yeah yeah yeah!" she says bouncing up and down and grabbing a grape too.

 _No you can't. But it will work to my advantage._ "Christian and Ana love each other"

"I know like best friend love!"

"No like love love… like mommy daddy love"

"What!? No way Jose"

"Yes way! They just don't know it!"

"What do you mean they don't know it? How?"

"Sometimes... " I stop wondering how I am going to put things into words for a five year old to explain. "They just don't know how they feel. It's kinda like… okay. Remember when you thought you hated shrimp because it looked funny and you hadn't had it before? But then you had it and you realized you loved it?"

"Yeah!"

"It's like that… Christian and Ana don't realize they love shrimp. They haven't had shrimp before so they're worried they won't like it"

"Well that's silly, just make them try it!"

"It's… not that simple. And remember you wouldn't try the shrimp until _you_ were ready?"

"Daddy says it's because I'm stubborn"

"Well Christian and Ana are stubborn"

"Well what can we do to get them together?"

"I'm workin on it, squirt"

"Good, because I really like Ana"

"Me too, munchkin, me too"

I set Hallie loose and go to look for my woman. _I really had to lay into her yesterday when she threw a fit about Ana coming to brunch. She needs to realize that Jane is in the past and Ana is my brother's future. I know Jane is her best friend but come on, they were together like what two weeks? I've had milk longer than that._ I find her pacing the pool looking agitated and as I get closer I realize she's on the phone. _God she better not._

"Who are you talking to?"

"I have to go" she says hanging up. I think she's going to lie to me but she sighs. "Jane"

"Why?"

"I didn't call her"

"Oh?"

"No. I'll admit I did after we ran into them. But not since you told me to stay out of it" She says looking down.

"Hey" I say lifting her chin to meet my gaze. "What did she say?"

"She's coming back"

"Coming back… here?"

She nods and I groan. "Seriously? This is what happens when you stick your nose somewhere it just does not belong!"

"Okay first of all Elliott, she lives here. Did you forget that? She was coming back eventually. And why are you so pressed on keeping Jane away anyway?"

"You know why"

"Because you're afraid she's a threat to your precious Ana?"

"Relax, Kate"

"What's so special about her anyway?"

"She cares about my brother, Kate. And I have NEVER seen my brother like this with anyone. Ever. This is big. Bigger than him and Jane. I need you to respect that. I'm sorry that she got hurt. I really am but it has nothing to do with him trying to find his footing in this relationship with Ana. Kate, my brother never dated anyone seriously and now… I want him to be happy. And Ana makes him happy, happier than I've ever seen him. It's not a knock on Jane, but it's not about her, Kate" She's silent and I wonder if I am finally getting my point across. "I've dated women before you Kate and I too have broke some hearts, so what if one came around again, should I just leave you even though you're who I want to be with?"

She contorts her mouth I assume to prevent the tears from falling. "He wants to be with her?"

"I don't know. I think so. But he's trying to figure that out."

"But he was pretty upset when Jane left… doesn't he owe it to himself to make sure he's over it?"

"I'll admit he was upset, but… Ana brought him to life, Kate. He's done things for him that no one has ever been able to do." I sigh running a hand through my hair. "When is she coming back?"

"Wednesday, four days from now"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

APOV

I'm finally dry after my impromptu swim in the Grey pool when I walk back towards Christian's room. I see the door is ajar which means I know he isn't naked. _Not that I would mind a glimpse._ I chuckle, but I stop when I hear talking. I get to the entrance to his room to see his back to me facing the window.

"It's good to hear from you too Jane, yes I will let you know about Wednesday" he hangs up the phone and tosses it on his bed and lets out a sigh. I don't want him to think I've been eavesdropping but I'm frozen in place. He turns around and his eyes meet mine and he immediately smiles. "You're dry!"

"I am!"

He looks at me and then at his phone. "Did you hear any of that?"

"Just the last part. Is she coming home?"

"Evidently"

"Are you going to see her?" _And I find myself holding my breath wondering what the answer is. Okay, Ana why do you care? He's your friend! And he's clearly still got feelings for Jane, right?_

"I don't know. I was going to ask what you thought"

"Me?"

"You know me better than anyone"

"I can't tell you what to do about this"

"Yes you can.. I need your help, Ana. Please"

"I- Do you still have feelings for her?"

He looks at me for a beat and I think he's at a loss for words.

"Who's up for heavy drinking!?" Elliott bellows as he enters the room and hops on Christian's bed. "Oh good you guys are dry." He looks at me and shakes his head. "Don't wear that"

I look down at Mia's clothes and roll my eyes. "Yeah thanks for that and what did you have in mind?"

"The new club that opened downtown"

"I could be interested. I do have to make appearances at new hip and happening clubs" I say doing a dance.

"Do people still say happening?" Elliott asks.

"Probably the same people that say cool" Christian says cheekily and I stick my tongue out at him.

"Okay so let's meet at your place at say 9?" Elliott says

"My place?" I squeak.

"Yeah, you're closer to downtown right?"

"Well yeah but-"

"Perrrrrfect."

"Well wait what about… you know?" I say giving him a knowing look.

"Kate will be fine! And you'll have Mia. Aren't you guys besties now?" He says heading out the door. "9 PM STEELE" he says before he disappears.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It's quarter to nine when Christian enters my apartment with some tequila and limes. "I have tequila" I say looking at the bottle he brought.

"Well just in case!" He says setting it on the counter before turning to look at me. "Look I'm sorry my siblings just invited themselves over" he says pinching the bridge of his nose. "But hey at least Kate isn't coming."

 _I was pleased about that. Although she seemed to hate me less than she did a week ago, I certainly didn't want things being tense or awkward as we are clearly not best friends. With Jane coming back, I am sure she doesn't want to be seen befriending the enemy._ _Although I am not even the enemy! I don't want to be with Christian! If Jane wants to I'm not going to stand in the way. Is that what they think?_ "Yes that is good news." I pour myself a shot of my open tequila and pour him one as well. We cheers and down them quickly. "We never finished talking earlier about.. Jane"

"I don't want to talk about it. Not tonight. I just want to have fun" he says and I smile. "With you.. And my brother and sister. Something I never thought I would ever say" he chuckles. He looks me over once.

"What?"

"Just seeing if I see the tattoo.. You've got more skin showing at least up top" I'm wearing a white off the shoulder bandaged top and a black jogger and black heels.

I shake my head. "Nope"

"Let me see" he says taking a step towards me.

"No!" I giggle.

"Is it on your ass?" he asks and I shake my head.

"Your tits?"

I shake my head again and I feel myself start to sweat knowing what his next guess will be. "Christian-"

"Anywhere else?" He asks raising an eyebrow and I swear I catch him staring at my crotch.

"Oh my God here" I say lifting my top slightly to see it written on my ribcage right underneath my bra.

"Deeds not words" he says reading it. "That's powerful"

I lower my shirt and laugh. "There. Now you know all my secrets"

"Do I?"

"I think? I don't know.. What do you want to know?" I ask and I immediately regret it.

"That first night at the bar… before we started talking" he says leaning against the wall. "Would you have let me take you home?"

"Christian..." _Abort abort abort! I say in my head. This is a slippery fucking slope and we are not going down it._

"Take a shot if you don't want to answer"

"We aren't playing"

"Answer or shot" I lick my lips and pour myself a shot and down it. "So that's a yes"

"Fuck you" I chuckle.

"Do you find me attractive?"

"Who said you got a second question?" I ask and I'm currently wishing I had more than pita chips and hummus for dinner because that second tequila shot is already going into effect.

"Answer or shot" he says and I shake my head.

"No or I won't make it to the bar"

"Then answer"

"Do you find me attractive?" I ask throwing my words back at him.

"I asked you first"

"I asked you second" I retort.

"What are you taking your arguing tips from Hallie? Just tell me"

I am never more thankful for my buzzer than in this moment. I dart to it buzzing them in because the less time I'm alone with Christian right now the better. _When did this happen? When did the walls of my apartment start closing in? When did Christian my best friend start becoming… Christian who was suddenly making my skin come fucking alive? Just in time for his ex to come waltzing back into town? Shit shit shit! This is bad. Very. fucking. Bad._

 **A/N: This night will now have to be a two-parter! Also, Ana's tattoos are actually Dakota Johnson's tattoos if you want to google them. The one on Ana's ribcage is actually on Dakota's arm but it didn't work for the story because it's too visible! Hope you enjoyed! :)**


	5. Love on the Brain

APOV

I'm sitting in a private booth at the Ivy Lounge with Christian, Mia and Elliott and all I can do is thank God for the loud music. It's the only thing drowning out all the thoughts I'm having about Christian. His questions are running on a loop in my head. ' _Do you find me attractive?' 'Would you have let me take you home?'_ I narrow my eyes in question as I search the air for answers. _Would I have? He was gorgeous and charming and… drunk! Would I have taken him home? Shut up shut up shut up!_ I squeeze my eyes shut and down another shot from one of the several bottles that we got via bottle service when I feel his hand wrapped around my shoulder. "Hey you alright? You're really throwing them back"

"Let the girl liiiiive, Christian" Mia squeals from the other side of me. "Here have another" she says picking up the bottle of tequila and pouring four more shots. We take the shots when I feel his eyes boring into the side of my face. I look to the right and see the concern in his eyes. The intensity is too much to bear so I look away when I feel his hand grab my jaw and turn my face back to his.

"What is it?"

"Nothing!" I squeak. _Jesus, Ana chill the hell out._ I feel him inch closer to me and I want to tell him to back the hell off when his manly scent fills my nostrils. I know I have had far too much to drink at this point and feeling his hand on my bare shoulder causes all of the air to leave my lungs.

"I think you need to slow down"

"I'm fine" I say and I wonder if I'm saying this more to Christian about my current state of intoxication or to myself about my current state of confusion. _Either way I was anything but fine._

"Let's go dance!" Mia says and I feel myself being yanked from the table and pulled to the dance floor. After pushing our way through several people, we find ourselves in the middle of the dance floor. Dancing always did make me feel better, and I'm hoping I can at least ignore my racing thoughts for at least the duration of a Rihanna song.

"You like my brother don't you?" _Guess not._

I don't even know what to say to her and I can only pray that Mia is as drunk as I am and just forgets that she even asks. "What makes you think that?"

"Oh come on, it's SO obvious. To everyone"

"Who is everyone?"

"Elliott, me, Kate though she doesn't want to admit it, my parents…"

 _Was I really acting any different than I usually do at brunch? She makes it seem like I was staring at him with stars in my eyes!_ "I don't think-"

"I mean granted everyone thinks my brother is into you too. We all thought he was going to kiss you in the pool."

My eyes widen and I go to inquire about that when I feel arms around my waist that feel foreign. Normally the idea of dancing with a random guy would send a spark of excitement through me but I don't feel it this time. I turn around in his arms and smile before I let him down easily.

"I've been watching you for the past twenty minutes" he leans down to say into my ear. "You are… the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on"

"I-I-" I try to find the words to tell him I'm not interested when I feel familiar a hand wrapping around my wrist and I'm being pulled towards someone I do recognize.

"Hi" Christian says to me not paying a second glance to the other guy. "Thought maybe you needed help"

I narrow my eyes at him. I turn around slightly and see that the other guy has disappeared before turning back to Christian. "Is that so?" _Or maybe you just came to mark your territory._ The thought that Christian would want to claim me as his sends a surge through me. _For the love of Godddd Ana, stop it. Where is all of this coming from? Has it really been THAT long since you got laid that you're projecting all of this sexual energy onto Christian? You're going to ruin your friendship! And what about Jane!_ I shake my head when I hear the beginning of one of my favorite songs. _Just what I need to snap me out of this!_

"You know this song?" I shout over the music that's getting progressively louder as everyone stops grinding as this is _not_ the song you do that to.

"Of course, who doesn't?"

"But do you knoooow it" I say with a twinkle in my eye. _I spent two days learning the dance when I was twelve and every time I hear it I'm transported to a such a carefree, happy time._

"Like the dance? No… you do?"

I wink as the first words of the King of Pop's _Thriller_ comes through the speakers. "You surprised?" I laugh

"Nothing about you surprises me" he says.

I look around and I'm not surprised that some people have started and by the time chorus comes on almost everyone on the floor is doing some version of the infamous dance, whether it be the correct version or not.

' _Cause this is thriller, thriller night_

 _And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike_

 _You know it's thriller, thriller night_

 _You're fighting for your life inside a killer thriller tonight_

After the song ends, and I've successfully embarrassed Christian I drag him to the bar as I'm filled with a new excitement. Long gone are the thoughts from earlier. I'm rejuvenated and excited and ready for- "two car bombs please!"

"A what?"

"A car bomb, tell me you've had one" I say.

"Can't say that I have"

"Really? You really are from another planet, Grey." The four glasses are placed in front of us and he looks at me with a confused expression. "You just drop the shot into the glass of Guiness and chug. It's simple. Just do it quick or else it gets gross"

"I am not doing that, you're insane" he says shaking his head.

"What! Oh come on. It's fun"

"It looks disgusting"

"Fine suit yourself, I'll drink both"

He rolls his eyes before grabbing the other two and after a quick count to three we are downing the our drinks. Within fifteen seconds we are finished and Christian stares at me. "What the hell did you just make me drink?"

"Good right?" He raises an eyebrow at me before I pull him back to the dance floor.

It's been at least an hour and Christian and I have barely left the dance floor with the exception of getting more drinks. I don't think I've been this drunk in quite some time and based on the time I've spent with Christian I'm thinking that he has never been as drunk as he is now. Things started off innocent enough, we were laughing and talking as best as we could over the loud music. We were barely touching with the exception of a brush up against each other, but with each passing Rihanna, Beyonce or Drake song my ass has found it's way to his groin and my back against his chest. I pulled my hair up into ponytail as I started to sweat from the close quarters of the dance floor and at one point I swear I feel his lips against my neck but I shake the feeling from my head and try to just enjoy the feeling of being this close to him. I'm actually shocked at how well he dances. _Who would have thought he could move like this?_ The last song ends and I hear the deejay say something about 'slowing it down for all the lovers out there' and I hear Rihanna's _Love On the Brain_ start playing and I don't know if it's the alcohol or the conversation earlier, or adrenaline but I slow my movements to move in time with the sensual beat. I feel his hands move to my hips and he grips me hard. I circle my hips, grinding my ass more into him before moving myself down to the ground, bending almost completely over before I move back up. I close my eyes letting the words surround me and I know without a shadow of a doubt, I am unbelievably fucked.

 _Oh, and baby I'm fist fighting with fire_

 _Just to get close to you_

 _Can we burn something babe?_

 _And I run for miles just to get a taste_

 _Must be love on the brain_

 _That's got me feeling this way (feeling this way)_

 _It beats me black and blue but it fucks me so good_

 _And I can't get enough_

 _Must be love on the brain, yeah_

 _And it keeps cursing my name (cursing my name)_

 _No matter what I do, I'm no good without you_

 _And I can't get enough_

 _Must be love on the brain_

My eyes open when I feel his stubble rubbing against my shoulder. I bite my bottom lip to prevent the moan from escaping me. I am hyper- aware that he's dragged his lips from my shoulder to the place where my shoulder meets my neck so I lean my head back against his shoulder. "You smell so good" I hear him say before I hear him breathe in deep. "Fucking hell, Ana. What are you doing to me?" I hear him whisper and it takes everything in me to focus and not collapse in a heap on the floor. Of course at that moment the line 'What do I gotta do to get in your motherfuckin' heart?' comes on and I wonder _what do I have to do to get there? Or… am I already there? Have I just been kidding myself this whole time? Has there always been something more between us? From the beginning? Were Mia and Elliott and everyone seeing something I wasn't? Is he feeling what I'm feeling?_ I feel his hand move from my hips and move to the area exposed between my top and my pants and the feeling has a direct line of contact with my core and I clench. I know the song is ending soon and I don't know what will happen once the spell of this song is gone so I turn in his arms and find his eyes clear as day boring into me.

I bite down on my bottom lip unsure of what to say when I see his eyes flit to my mouth. He has to be able to hear the pounding of my heart and I sound like I've just ran a marathon based on how hard I'm breathing. His hand comes into view as he pulls my bottom lip from my teeth before running his thumb over my lip. And before I know it his face is coming towards mine. Closer and closer and soon we are a millimeter apart breathing each other's air. I can taste the tequila and car bombs and his whiskey floating around us and just before his lips hit mine the room explodes with light.

"LAST CALL!" My eyes widen slightly at the interruption. I look around and see people moving all around us towards the tables and the exit. I don't know what to say at this moment having almost kissed Christian. _And I don't mean kissing him in a fun drunk, let's make out because we're hammered way. But in a hey, I know we are just friends but actually this whole time I realized I was falling in love with you, do you feel the same? Check yes or no._ I look over towards the tables and see Mia and Elliott staring at us completely open mouthed but look away the second I see them. I realize I'm still in Christian's arms so I remove myself and I can see that he's as confused by what just happened as I am.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

CPOV

 _No!_ My mind screams as my lips are so close to tasting Ana's. _Last call what the fuck? What time is it? I was so close to… oh my God. What the hell did I just do? Or almost do?_ I feel her pulling out of my grasp and I let her go, letting my hands fall to my sides. _Say something, Grey. Like what? Sorry for mauling you for the past hour? Sorry for this tent in my pants you caused? Sorry I almost kissed you? Sorry that I can't picture anything except you coming apart in my arms? Ana say something, baby. Baby? What in the world? Okay… wait she's walking away._

"What?"

"Are you listening?" she laughs. "We have to go"

"Come home with me" I blurt out. _Smooth Grey. Smooth._

She turns around to face me and raises an eyebrow. "I don't think-"

"Not for… I mean…" I don't even know what I'm saying and I'm actually thankful for my siblings' intrusion.

"Hey, we gotta bounce" Elliott says and Mia stands next to him nodding vigorously before linking her arm with Ana's again and taking off towards the exit with an obvious spring in her step.

"So Taylor dropping you both off somewhere I presume?" Elliott chuckles and I wish I knew that answer.

"I don't know"

"You don't know? C I just watched you and Ana have sex with your clothes on all over the fucking dance floor. You really are still denying this shit?"

"I DON'T KNOW.. Jesus Christ, El. Drop it" I say rubbing my head as all of the shots, and drinks on top of this new revelation with Ana is all catching up with me.

"What don't you know? If she feels the same? Is that what all this is about?"

"No… maybe… I don't know! Today is the first day I saw Ana in a different light. Or maybe I've seen her this way all along but never realized it"

"So you are seeing her differently, then?" He says with a cocky smirk that I wish I could knock off of him.

"Yes. Is that what you want to fucking here? Yes okay?"

"You're in love with her" Elliott says and I stop walking as we get outside and see Mia and Ana standing a few feet ahead. "Say it"

I look at him and shake my head indicating he needs to drop it as Ana and Mia approach us. "Taylor is right there" Ana says pointing to my car in the line of cars, ubers and taxis picking up. "Are you okay?" She says putting her hand on my arm and I almost yank her over my shoulder and tell my siblings they need to find their own ride because of my need to figure out what this is with Ana.

"Yes" I smile at her. "Let's go" I say clasping my hand with hers and pulling her gently as I know her balance has been compromised due to her level of intoxication.

Despite the inconvenience of it, I told Taylor to take Mia and Elliott home first to give me some alone time with Ana. Of course, by the time he had taken them both home, Ana was asleep. Her head leaning against my shoulder, snoring softly. I tell Taylor to take us to my place and although this is not how I wanted it to go, I am pleased that at least she'll be with me. I carry her sleeping body through the garage and up the elevator to my apartment. I carry her up the stairs and I wonder if I should change her. I pull her shoes off of her and lift her head gently to pull her hair out of the pony tail. I look at her sleeping form and I frown when I think about the fact that this is her usual way of drinking. _What if she wasn't with me? Does she make it a habit of passing out when she's had too much to drink? Has she ever passed out in a taxi? I shake my head to stop myself from spiraling any further._ I'm actually surprised I'm not more wrecked but all of Ana's rubbing on me on the dance floor seemed to have sobered me right up. I decide against taking off her clothes as the first time I see her like that I want it to be by her choice so I pull off my shoes and climb into my bed next to her. I pull the sheet over us as my room tends to get cold and before I can think I'm asleep. The last thing I remember is thinking that I'm slightly worried about what the morning is going to bring.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A POV

I wake up the next morning with the kind of hangover that feels more like death than alcohol withdrawals. My mouth is dry, my stomach is nauseous and there's a pounding behind my eyes that I don't think could be quieted with an entire bottle of Advil. But there's one pleasant thing about all of this. The smell. _Something smells.. Familiar… sensual…_ and despite my hangover I find myself wanting to touch that sensitive area between my legs. Wanting to rub myself to a soul shattering orgasm especially after last night. _I can't believe all of that happened._ I turn my head and I'm still hit with the same smell and I know this is not what my pillows smell like. I open my eyes slightly and realize I am not in my bed. I let them open even further and I see Christian sleeping soundly next to me. _Shit_. I look under the sheet and see that I still have all of my clothes on and sigh in relief. The pain of my hangover takes a back seat as I take in my current situation and I'm on the move for water, Advil and coffee… and hopefully some answers. I scurry into Christian's bathroom, use his toothbrush to brush my teeth and put my hair into a ponytail. I head down the stairs and begin making some coffee. As I wait for the coffee to finish I walk towards his huge windows that provide the best view of Seattle. _What am I doing? Is this what I want? A relationship with- Christian?_ I know I need to figure these things out myself before I talk to Christian and I know that window is closing. _He should be up any minute._

"Hey" I hear from behind me and I cringe inwardly. _Too late._

I turn around to see him stretching his arms to the ceiling letting his shirt raise up and show a sliver of skin. _Skin I want to run my tongue over_. "Hi...I'm making coffee"

"I figured" he smiled before moving towards me.

"I don't remember coming back here?"

"You passed out in the car" he says and I nod. He looks at me with a scolding look and I frown.

"I don't like you getting that drunk that you pass out before you get home or anywhere safe"

"I don't usually but…"

"But what? Ana that's not safe"

"But.. I felt safe. I was with you" I say looking up into his eyes when I see them soften.

"You _are_ safe with me" Was there a double meaning behind that? Is all of me safe? _Am I emotionally and mentally as well as physically safe?_

I move back to the kitchen and grab some mugs to pour our coffee when he takes them from me and does it for me. He hands me the cup and leans against the cabinet. "So…" he trails off and I wonder how this is going to go.

"Last night was fun" I smile and he smiles back.

He rubs a hand behind his neck and chuckles. "Some parts more than others"

"Oh?"

He sits his coffee down and walks around the breakfast bar and I wonder if he needs to put space between us to get his words out. "Don't do that, Ana"

"Do what?"

"We aren't going to beat around the bush here. That's not you."

 _I gulp. He's right. That isn't me. But it's because I put on this tough exterior. I'm blunt and put it all out there… or so it appears. But there is so much I hold back. And Christian is now in there… deep. And now I don't know how to put my feelings out there_. "Okay" I say.

He comes back towards me and soon I'm being boxed into his counter and I feel his forehead against mine and I let the feeling of it wash over me. I breathe out and he chuckles quietly. "That's why my toothbrush was wet"

"Sorry" I giggle and I feel his hands trailing up my arms before they are behind me pulling me closer to him.

"Ana" he whispers.

"Yes?" I reply. _I think he's at the same loss for words. The lines are so blurred between us that I don't think either of us know what we are thinking. And then we had to go and get drunk and make everything even more complicated._ My thoughts are interrupted by his phone vibrating in his pocket. He makes no move to answer it and I look at his pocket. "Phone is ringing" I say softly.

"Fuck the phone. Tell me… tell me what you want" He says, the sincerity in his voice warming me up.

"I-I…" I stammer and I hear his phone again.

"God dammit" he says taking it out of his pocket, silencing it and putting it back in his pocket. "Ana… tell me that you…" He rubs his hand over my face and I know in this moment I'll tell him anything he wants to hear if he can just keep his hands on me.

I see movement behind Christian and I see Taylor standing in the entryway. Christian follows my gaze and sees Taylor. "Sir I'm sorry to interrupt, but can I speak with you privately?"

"Say what you need to" he says. "Ana can hear anything you have to say" he says nodding at me.

"Very well. Miss Anderson is downstairs." Christian stiffens next to me and my heart sinks knowing that's Jane. _Just yesterday, I was probably going to tell him that he should try things with her again. But now, in light of recent events… do I want him to? No, Ana you don't. And you better not tell him to. But I mean when I met him he was so tore up over her! Have those feelings gone away? Does he still care for her? Or has he moved on? I mean I do think there is some truth to the saying 'if you love someone, let them go.' And then there's the whole if they come back then they were always yours. I do think for us to be able to move forward he has to close this door with Jane. I love him but… he won't be able to give his whole heart to me if he doesn't get this closure._

"Do not let her up here until I say" he barks and Taylor nods.

"Yes sir"

He turns back to me and rubs his face. "FUCK" he says in his hands. "She's early"

"Christian" I say pulling his hands from his face. "You need to do this" I whisper. "You need to… see how you feel"

"I know how I feel" Christian says and my heart skips a beat. _No he was just drunk. You know what they say if you drink enough vodka it tastes like love…_

"Do you?"

"Ana last night…"

"Was fueled by a lot of alcohol"

"That's all?" He asks and he actually does look hurt. I don't answer and he lifts my chin to his. "Ana don't do this"

"Do what?"

"Shut me out"

"I'm not, I promise. I just think you're confused" I say. "Last night was intense and we pushed the boundaries of our friendship and that happens but it doesn't mean…" I trail off. "Look when I met you, you were so torn up about Jane and now she's here and you can get closure or get back together or whatever you want to do! But you should find out once and for all what you want"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

C POV

 _Does she not feel what I feel? She's going to say last night was all about alcohol? I am not confused, Anastasia. You fucking are. And the fact that she slept in my bed with me last night and I slept hard through the night doesn't escape me. But one breakthrough at a time._ I feel myself getting heated as I watch her pull her shoes on. _Tell her not to leave. Tell her you love her. SOMETHING_. But something stops me. _I don't know if it's her saying that the only reason we crossed those lines was just due to alcohol or something else entirely but the insecurities and self doubt are running rampant in my mind_. _I know that I'm not good enough for Ana. She's the best person I've ever met and I never want to lose her. But what if we do get together and things don't work out? We will never be able to go back to being friends and then I'll lose her forever._ The thought of that is a kick to the gut. _A life without Ana would be like going back to my life of black and white after she brought color to it. Okay Christian one thing at a time, deal with Jane and then you can tackle your feelings for Ana._

"Call me later, okay?" Ana says and I nod because I don't think I have the words and with that she's gone.

 **A/N: I know it's a shorter chapter but I think this is a good stopping point, don't you? ;) Next up- We meet Jane!**


	6. Revelations

A POV

 _I'm in the elevator on my way down to the lobby where I'll meet Taylor to take me home and I pray that Jane has already been sent upstairs and I don't have to see her. I breathe a sigh of relief when the doors open and I don't see her and I head out into the lobby. I hear a sharp intake of breath to the left of me and I turn my head towards the noise. I make eye contact with a petite brunette and I know that has to be Jane. And here I am in last night's clothes looking like I'm doing a walk of shame. I can't escape the fleeting look of hurt in her eyes and I turn my head away from her and continue to walk towards the door. How can I blame her for coming back? She needed space or clarity or whatever, she deserves to get closure as well. Right?_

C POV

I'm staring at my bed, the bed I shared with Ana last night. The bed where I had a blissful night of sleep. The only thing that would have made it better would be if she had been sleeping in my arms. I hear the faint ding of the elevator downstairs and I slowly make my way to meet Jane. _What am I even going to say to her? I'm sorry? But.. no? What does she even want from me?_ I see her standing in my living room and she smiles at me. "Christian" she nods.

 _Seeing her here doesn't feel right. She looks out of place. Ana belongs here. Why didn't I ask her to stay?_ "Jane" I say back and move towards her slowly. "You look good" _And that's not a lie, her skin has some color. A glow that only time in the sun can give you._

"Thank you, vacation will do that" she takes a few steps towards me and I wonder if she is going to try and make contact so I back away. She looks hurt by my unwillingness to let her touch me but she hides it quickly. "It's good to see you"

"You're early. I thought you said Wednesday?"

"I… I thought we should talk"

"About what?"

"Us?" She says looking up at me, unshed tears brimming under her eyes. "You called… you left me messages. You said you made a mistake. That you wanted to talk... try again. Those were your words. You felt horrible about the belt"

I sigh and drop like a log to the small steps in my living room. _Yes those were my words, but that was before I met Ana.. that was before… everything changed._ I look up at her wondering how to tell her that I've moved on without sounding like a complete asshole.

"Yes, I said those things.. but that was a few weeks ago. I called you and you never picked up. You didn't take my calls so I couldn't help but think it was over."

"I needed space away. I needed to get my thoughts together...I didn't answer because I didn't think I could handle what happened or be in a relationship with someone that felt that they needed that. You were getting off on the pain you inflicted on me and that hurt more than the pain itself. It didn't help that I told you I loved you and you told me that was wrong"

"How I was supposed to know that? You told me that I was a fucked up son of a bitch and to sort my shit out. And then you ignored my attempts to make amends. How was I supposed to know that translated to you just needing space?"

"You said that maybe you could give me more" she whispers, I think as an attempt to keep the tears out of her voice. _I honestly don't know what to tell her. Do I tell her about Ana? I'm sure she has her own opinions based on what Kate has told her._

"That doesn't answer my question, Jane. You're only back now because I assume Kate has told you about Ana" I say. _Of course Kate told you about her._

"Don't say her name to me" she says snaps but I can hear the sadness in her voice as well. "I get you to open up and _she_ gets to benefit from it? Is that really what's happening? I assume she is not your submissive?"

"Not that it's any of your business, Jane, but no she's not my submissive. She's not my anything" _yet_. I add to myself. "Jane, I don't know what to tell you honestly."

"Did you let her touch you?" She's asks me quietly.

"Jane…" I trail off and it's as if that's enough to set her off. The tears are moving down her cheeks at a rapid pace.

"Did you care about me at all?" She sniffles. "Or was I just another submissive to you? One that you just happened to let get away with more? You told me I was different."

I move towards her and sit next to her on the couch. "Jane I-" I start when I feel her lips on mine. I don't realize what's happened until I feel her tongue pushing against my closed mouth. I used to relish in the feeling of kissing Jane but now I can't stand the feeling of her lips on mine. I pull away from her lips and I want to be angry at this invasion of space but I can't when I see the hurt look in her eyes.

"She's the one isn't she?"

I look at a spot on the ground and rub my hands together. "I don't know." I answer honestly. "But I need to figure it out. A lot happened while you were gone.. Ana has changed my life. Changed _me._

"Bullshit Christian. _I_ changed you."

I look at Jane, shocked. "You opened me up to the possibility of wanting more, I admit. But my heart wasn't open… well not until…"I stop. "Jane it wasn't my intention to hurt you, or fall in love with anyone else"

"LOVE!?" she shrieks as she stands up. "Are you insane?"

"Jane, enough" I bark, _I know she's upset but she's crossing the fucking line and I'm losing my patience._

"You've known her, what- three weeks? And all of a sudden you're _capable_ of love? You're incapable of love, remember? It's overrated! And for fools! Remember all of that? Your words! Well that's what you let that fucking Mrs. Robinson manipulate you into thinking." She crosses her arms in front of her. "Have you even told her about Elena?" I look away avoiding her gaze and she scoffs. "You're kidding me right? Does she know anything about you? The playroom, the subs.. any of it? Do you know anything about her?"

I sigh. "I know enough"

"What makes you so certain she'll return your love when you tell her all of this?" She says, her words wavering.

 _I haven't thought about that. I know my past is a lot to stomach. She knows about my childhood- which is more than Jane knows. But Elena, and my attraction to brown haired women. What if it's too much for Ana? She lives what seems to be a pretty drama free life, what if all of my baggage and skeletons hiding in the closet is too much for her to bear?_ I'm so removed from this conversation and in my own head that I don't even feel her hands on my shoulders as she looks down at me. I snap out of my thoughts when she begins to talk.

"Christian, I accept you.. flaws and all. I love you" she cups my face and I remove her hands from me and pushing her away gently before I stand up.

"Jane, I am sorry about everything. For hurting you.. Physically, emotionally, all of it. And maybe Ana won't accept me. But.. I have to try. She makes me happy. And if it's one thing I've learned from Ana- it's that I deserve happiness. And if you can't want that for me then you don't love me at all."

"You're a heartless bastard, Christian. You got what you wanted from me and now you're moving on" she says angrily and I sigh.

"I'm sorry that you feel this way, Jane. But I don't know what else to tell you. I never meant to hurt you"

She holds her hand up. "I'm tired of the apologies. Have a nice life. Just so you know, what goes around comes around. And if Ana turns around and does the same thing to you, you deserve it"

She storms out of my penthouse and I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, but also like a storm is brewing. I reach for my phone and immediately call Ana, frowning when I reach her voicemail. "Ana, I'm coming over" I say into the phone before hanging up.

XXXXXXXXXXX

A POV

I unlock my apartment door and I'm shocked to find all my lights on and I hear rattling around in my kitchen. I would be nervous if it weren't for the fact that I also hear Beyoncé playing on my iHome. "What are you doing here?" I ask dropping my purse on my coffee table and moving to the kitchen towards my best friend.

Her head peeks out from the refrigerator. "God you have no food. And where have you been? I was just about to send a search party"

"I haven't been home much lately" I sigh thinking about all the time I've been spending with Christian. I haven't eaten at my apartment in weeks. "And I went out last night" I say rubbing my head hoping it will ease the pain and show my best friend, the ever so chatty Olivia Greene that I am not really up for talking.

"And you're just getting home at…" she looks at her watch and then back at me "Ten in the morning? So morning sex then?"

"No.. I didn't have any sex"

"Oh. Where'd you stay? Did you make new friends while I was gone? That's odd. You don't like anyone" she says furrowing her brows.

"Including you, Liv can we not right now?" I whine.

"Uh no? We've barely talked the past few weeks and I know that's my fault. I've been the worst and I'm sorry. So tell me why do you look so upset?" She says leaning on the counter next to me. She gives me her signature _you know you're going to tell me so stop fighting it_ look and I sigh before launching into the entire story. How I met Christian, how we became friends, all the time we've spent together and then finally last night. When I finish she's looking at me shocked and I wonder if I'm going to have to help her pick her jaw from the floor.

"Say something" I order her and she shakes her head.

"I need a second to process" she says pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge and taking a sip. She blows out a breath and looks at me warily. "So you love him"

I lean over and put my hands over my eyes. "I don't know! You tell me" I groan knowing that Olivia, who I've known since essentially birth knows me better than anyone. Well Christian knows me pretty well now too… "My heart says I do.. but I thought I was in love with-" I start to say his name when she interrupts me

"Don't you dare say his name in my presence." She snaps. "He doesn't sound anything like that colossal asshole… Okay so he's talking to her now? I mean what's there to say? Hey sorry, but you ran off to Georgia when shit got real and told me to get my act together… so I did… with someone else. It's tale as old as time really, a woman essentially fixes a man and then he walks off into the sunset hand in hand with someone else. Sucks for her but whatever, that's life" she says picking at her nail beds.

"Jane didn't fix him. That would imply that he was broken! He wasn't broken" I sigh. "He's perfect"

"Oh God, you really are in love. Don't make me vomit" she rolls her eyes.

"You really think he'll pick me?" I ask and I know Olivia is the only person in the world I can allow myself to be this vulnerable with. I wouldn't dare sound this pathetic to anyone else but Liv is non-judgmental.

"He would be stupid not to"

"That's not what I asked. Stop giving me that sugar coated bullshit. Tell me the truth"

"Okay.." she trails off. "The truth? The truth is I don't know because I've never met him. I'm only hearing your side and we both know you look at relationships through rose colored glasses even when it's shit. You say he was all but fucking you on the dance floor last night? But I mean have YOU seen you after a few drinks at the club? Most guys are usually willing to impregnate you on sight. So do I think he'll pick you? I don't know. Give me five minutes with him, then I'll know."

I take a deep breath and let it out. _As much as i wanted to argue back, she was right. Maybe I was missing things. Maybe he didn't feel the same way. In the past, I had stayed in relationships when I should have left because I thought things were good. Or maybe I was ignoring the problems. And what do I really know about Christian? He's had a long line of submissives and assumedly broken hearts. Would I become one of them? And in turn would it cost me my friendship with Christian?_ I bite my bottom lip and I feel arms around me and a squeeze. "Let's go get pancakes. I'm fucking starving" Olivia says and I nod. I hear my buzzer and my heart drops wondering if it's Christian. "Relax Bambi, I texted James to come over. It's probably him"

"Oh" I say breathing out. "I'm going to go change. I'll be ready in a minute"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We are sitting at the restaurant around the corner from my house and I can't even force down the pancakes in front of me. _My favorite pancakes. Fuck I really am in knots. What if he really goes back to her? That would surely be the end of our friendship. It's not like she will want him hanging out with me especially after Kate has probably told him I've been fucking him all over his penthouse. Damn, now I'm thinking about fucking him all over his penthouse. The TV room, that badass tub of his, the shower, his bed, the kitchen, his desk in the study, pool table… Dammit Ana snap out of it! His playroom…_ The thought sends a surge through me. _Would I want to go in his playroom?_

"ANA!" I hear and I'm snapped out of my thoughts.

"What? Why are you yelling?"

"Because I've been talking to you" Olivia says and I see her and James staring at me.

"Sorry.. What?"

Olivia shakes her head. "Did you want to go to the mall later?"

"Oh.. yeah sure" I say.

Olivia's phone rings and she gets up to take it leaving James and I alone. I look out the window wondering if Christian is still with Jane. I shake my head wondering how in the hell I've become this girl. _The girl Olivia and I make fun of. The girls I'm trying to help with my column_. I reach for my phone completely ignoring the look James is giving me and my heart skips a beat when I see I have a missed call from Christian and a voicemail. _What the? How did I miss that?_ I put the phone to my ear and my eyes widen when I hear his message. _When did he leave it? Thirty minutes ago? Well that would mean he's here.. Now._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

CPOV

I've been buzzing Ana's number for the past five minutes when I decide she must not be home. I don't think she would be avoiding me. _Where are you, Ana?_ I decide to walk towards her favorite restaurant. I know she's hungover and we didn't eat anything this morning so she's probably eating her weight in pancakes. I make my way down the street and what I see when I reach my destination is a punch in the gut. I see Ana sitting at a table with that guy from the art gallery, _James? I think_? _Christian, don't overreact, she said he was just a friend. Just… go in there and tell her the truth_. I take a deep breath and walk into the restaurant. Here goes nothing. I approach their table and see Ana on the phone and I feel a little better about her being there with James. _If she was that into him, I doubt she would be on the phone, right?_ She puts the phone down and her eyes find mine as I approach her table. "I- I just got your message" she stammers. "I don't know how I missed your call"

 _Now that I'm here, I don't know what to say and I'm feeling unbelievably awkward as I stand here while Ana is on a… date with this other guy_. "Do you want to sit down?" James asks although I can tell he's dying for me to beat it.

"Uh… sure" I say taking the seat next to Ana although I'm just now noticing that there's food at this place setting which makes me think there's a third person with them. "Oh" I say looking down. I turn to look at her. "Can I talk to you?"

She nods her head and I stand holding my hand out to take hers. "James… I'll be right back"

"No she won't" I say pulling my wallet out and putting more than enough money down for whatever they got and then some. She looks at me oddly.

"Alright then, guess not. Tell Olivia-"

"Tell Olivia what exactly?" I hear a voice of someone I don't recognize when a woman comes into view. "You were just going to leave without saying anything?"

I see Ana roll her eyes. "Liv don't start. Christian this is Olivia, my best friend that's been hiding out in New York the last few weeks. Olivia this is Christian"

"I seeeeeee" she says. "Well, what's your rush? Shouldn't we get to know each other" Olivia says sitting down at the table next to James.

"Olivia…" she trails off and I see Olivia give her a look.

"Sit" she points at the table and Ana huffs before turning to me.

"Are you hungry?" she asks before rolling her eyes. "She's not going to let this go"

 _Hungry for you._ I think and I turn to Ana's best friend who literally reminds me of Katherine Kavanagh if I ever saw it and I'll be damned if I deal with another one of those. "Thank you for the invitation, but Ana and I need to talk. In private. And I can't wait another second. So no, we can't stay" I say before pulling Ana towards the exit before Olivia can protest.

We are out of the restaurant and Ana giggles. "Oh that was wonderful. Mad props to anyone that puts her in her place like that."

"Why didn't you?"

She shrugs. "She wants to get to know you. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want you to know my best friend"

"And why is that?" I turn to her and she puts her sunglasses over her eyes I think as an attempt to mask her feelings. I take a step towards her and pull them from her face gently and she looks away from my gaze. "Ana look at me"

"How did it go with Jane?"

"Could have gone better, could have gone worse" I say.

"Are you… trying again?" She hesitates.

"No" I say adamantly.

"Oh.. why? I know you wanted at one point"

"What do you mean why? Do you really think I am the same person I was then? When we met at that bar?" She contorts her face I think to prevent the tears from falling. _Why is she so upset? Can't she see what I'm trying to say? Maybe I need to be more clear._ "Can we go to your apartment? I don't want to do this on the street"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We are in Ana's apartment and I immediately pull her to the couch. I want to sit next to her but I'm afraid being in such close proximity will make me want to attack her and I need to get this out. I sit in the chair adjacent to her and she eyes me warily before looking at the whole couch next to her. "I don't have cooties"

"Ana…" I say. "I couldn't be with Jane. Not after… not after you"

"Me?" she squeaks.

"Yes. Tell me you feel it too. What this is between us…" I say pointing back and forth between us "tell me I'm not alone in feeling it"

"What are you feeling?" She asks softly and I'm pleased that she's not trying to make a joke. That's she's opening herself up to be vulnerable with me.

"I… I'm in love with you.. Ana" I say. "I think I always have been.. Since that first night we met at the bar. You have taught me so much in such a short period of time. You've changed the way I see the world, see life, love… everything. You make me want to be the best version of myself. I want to be with you, Ana. Tell me you feel the same" She stares at me for what feels like hours and I worry she's wondering how to let me down easy. "Say something" I say and she smiles.

"I feel the same" she whispers and it takes everything in me not to cheer out loud. I move to sit next to her knowing that I can at least touch her and reach for her hand. "I thought- maybe you were going to get back together with her" she says softly and I pull her hand to my mouth kissing it gently.

"No. I had to see what this was between you and me. Even if you didn't reciprocate my feelings, it wouldn't have been fair to her. Hell even when she kissed me I had a hard enough time not picturing you"

"She kissed you?" She asks and I wonder if I should have left that part out.

"Yes. It caught me pretty off guard. She didn't take it well when I pulled away"

"I see" she says. We are silent for a minute and I wonder what she's thinking. "I think I've always known too… but last night… everything changed"

"For me too"

"So what now? I mean there is still a lot we don't know about each other"

"That's okay" I say firmly. "We will take it one day at a time."

She nods and I can tell that she's nervous and I laugh. "What are you laughing at?"

"I never thought I would see the day that Anastasia Steele was nervous" I say trying to stop laughing

She giggles. "Oh shut up! Are you going to kiss me now or what?"

"Ask me nicely" I say even though I've been dying to kiss her since last night.

"Bite me"

"Oh? Is that an invitation?" I ask and she turns a delicious shade of pink.

" Maybe" she purrs and it sends a jolt straight to my cock as I pull her towards me. She stops before she touches me and looks at my chest. "Can I touch you?"

I look at her hands and then back at her. "We can try…"

"I won't hurt you" she says, her eyes still glued to my chest.

Jane's words ring in my head. _What makes you so certain she'll return your love when you tell her all of this._ "Please" I whisper as I pull her to straddle me on the couch. She strokes my cheek before letting her finger trace my lips. I kiss her finger as she makes her way to my shoulders with both hands before slowly sliding her hands to my chest. I wonder if she can feel how hard my heart is pounding under her hands.

"How do you feel?"

I stop thinking about the anxiety I usually feel about someone touching me and relish in the feeling that Ana is actually touching me. _And I don't feel anything. Well… I feel warmth washing over me. Not pain, not burning. But pure love that is radiating off of this woman in my lap_. "Amazing"

"Really?" She asks her eyes wide and bright. She moves her hands off of me and slides them under my shirt to touch my bare chest and she smiles when I pull her closer, my hands stroking her back gently. "Can I kiss you now?" She whispers and I nod. I weave my hand in her hair and let my lips explore her face. Her forehead, eyelids, nose, cheeks, chin. I'm about to reach the destination I've been working towards when her door flies open.

"Talking, huh?" I hear as Olivia walking through her apartment. _God she has a key? Great fucking timing._

"Can't you call?" Ana says narrowing her eyes at her and I am very pleased that she hasn't thought to remove herself from my lap.

"Sorry I figured you went to bone and stuff at his house" she says pointing at me.

"Then whyyy didn't you go home?"

"I haven't even been home since I got back from New York! My suitcase is here, I came back to get it. But if that's your way of saying I've overstayed my welcome-" she starts.

"It is!" Ana says turning back to me and smiling.

"Fine fineeee. But I want details later." She grabs her suitcase before heading to the door. "Take care of my girl will ya? It's been too long since she's been thoroughly fucked" she winks and I see Ana sending a pillow soaring towards the door.

"OUT!"

I place my hands on her thighs and squeeze. "Is she right? Has it been a long time since someone has taken care of you, Ana?" I growl against her neck before biting down on her flesh causing her to yelp.

"Yyy-ess" she stammers and I smile.

"I suppose I can help you out. One friend to the next"

"Fuck you, Grey" I hear her say and I wonder if she's actually mad at my word choice but when I pull away from her neck she's looking at me through hooded eyes.

"Is that what you want?"

"Yes" she says firmly and it makes me even harder than I already was with her sitting on my crotch. She looks back at the door before climbing off of my lap and dead bolting her door. "So there are no more interruptions" she comes back towards me and holds her hand out before pulling me down the hall to her bedroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She stands in front of her bed and the visual of Ana and a bed is too much to bear. I approach her slowly and I see her visibly shiver. "Cold?" I ask her.

"No" she nods. "Just… nervous"

"I make you nervous?"

She nods again. "This makes me nervous. Taking this step… there's no going back after it"

"Do you think you would want to go back?" _That was a change in direction._

"No. But this does change things"

"For the better, no?"

 _I wish she would just shut up and stop thinking so much and let me kiss her but now she has doubts creeping in and I don't want to push her_. She reaches for me, putting her hands on my chest and she sighs. It's as if the simple act is as comforting to her as it is to me.

"It makes me feel special that I'm the only woman you've let do this"

"You're the only woman I've let do a lot of things"

"But this is different.. this means you trust me"

"Of course I trust you, Ana. You know that"

She nods before looking up at me and I can see the look in her eyes. _Kiss me, Christian. Please._ I don't waste another second and I press my lips to hers gently. _FUCKKKKKKKKKK_. It's as if every part of my body is on fire. I put my hand to one of her cheeks and I feel her open her mouth, granting me access to all of her. I take off in search of her tongue and I groan when I make contact with hers. _She tastes so fucking sweet_. _I could kiss her forever._ I don't break contact with her as I pull her to the bed, allowing her to lay on top of me. My hands find her hair and I pull gently causing her to groan in my mouth. We kiss like this for a while, changing positions every once in awhile. Her on top, me on top, us side by side. Surprisingly, we've kept it pretty PG. With the exception of a few kisses to the top of her breasts, we've behaved much to my disappointment. I don't know why I didn't push her further, maybe I just wanted to familiarize myself with her on an intimate level this way first. Kissing is just as intimate as sex sometimes. When we finally come up for air, Ana's hair is sticking up in every direction and her lips are swollen and red.

"Holy shit" she says running a hand through her hair. "I haven't made out like that in years"

"Can't say I ever have" I say propping my head up on my hand.

"You didn't in high school? Like at the movies or in the hidden hallways?"

I think about my lack of romantic experiences with high school girls and blanch wondering how I am going to tell Ana about Elena. I shake my head not wanting to ruin the moment. _But you have to tell her, Grey. Sooner rather than later. Why? It's a part of my past and Ana is the present, future, the whole nine yards._ "I didn't date a lot in high school"

She frowns. "When did you lose your virginity then?" _Ooookay so we are doing this now? I don't really want to talk about this._ She must notice my expression. "I'm surprised we didn't discuss this the night we played Truth or Shot." She jokes. "You don't have to tell me"

"Later" I say kissing her nose. "I want to go back to the kissing" I say pulling her under me and attacking her mouth once again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A POV

Christian stayed the rest of the night. We kissed like teenagers until the wee hours of the morning and then we went to sleep. The sexual tension between us is stifling and I know it's only a matter of time before we take that step but it's only been a day since I stopped seeing him as Christian my best friend. I don't want to go jumping into bed with him too fast no matter how badly I both want to. I look over to his sleeping form and begin to kiss him to rouse him from his slumber. He groans pulling me tighter towards him and I kiss his neck gently. "Wake up" I whisper in his ear.

I'm on my back in a flash and he's hovering over me staring down at me. "Good morning, baby" and the term of endearment sends a rush of emotions through me.

"Hi" I whisper.

"How did you sleep?" He asks me as he nuzzles his face against my cheek and I nod against him.

"I woke you up because I figured you had to go to work"

"Shit what time is it?"

"Six thirty"

"I'm pissed I have to leave you in this warm bed all by yourself" he says as he drags his lips to my neck and onto my chest that's hidden under a cotton t-shirt. I am not wearing a bra under the shirt and I feel his mouth on my breast.

"Don't start something you can't finish, Grey" I whimper as I feel his other hand under my shirt, tracing up my naked rib cage. I am wound so tight from a night of making out I think even the slightest brush of my nipples will have me convulsing.

"Can I take a peek before I leave?" he asks me and my eyes fly open.

"What's in it for me?" I ask cheekily.

"What do you want?"

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours" I grin and he raises an eyebrow at me.

"You've seen my chest"

"I didn't mean your chest" I grin at him and he pulls back to stare at me. He looks at me for a beat before he stands up at the end of my bed and my my heart starts hammering in my chest. _Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. Breathe Ana._

He had taken off his pants so he didn't have to sleep in his jeans so he's standing before me in just his underwear. He pulls off his shirt and although I've seen it before it doesn't affect me any differently. _This man is un fucking real._ My nipples harden under my shirt as I see him hook his fingers in his waistband and pull them down, slowly. I sit up in bed, my eyes wide unblinking as I watch his underwear hit the ground. He stands completely erect in both senses and my mouth drops open.

I let out a breath. "Holy shit" I say still staring at the most perfect dick I've ever seen in my entire life. I hadn't given a ton of thought of what his would look like but I can certainly say I could not have prepared myself for this. _It was incredible._ "It's… beautiful"

"Alright enough gawking" he says pulling his underwear back up and I protest. "Your turn"

"Wait!"

"You can't keep staring at it like that if you're not going to do anything with it. I do have to go to work sometime today, you know"

"I can… help" I say biting down on my bottom lip.

"No."

"No?"

"Not now. I want to be able to take my time. When I have all night to properly ravage you. Now hold up your end of the deal"

"Both?"

"It's only fair" he says tugging at my shirt.

I go to the stage Christian had created in the center of my room and slowly pull off my sweatpants first, but with the length of my shirt he can't see much. Then, I drag my shirt over my head before tossing it at him. I go to pull down my underwear when he stops me.

"Stop. You're going to kill me" he beckons me over with his finger until I am standing between his legs as he's sitting on the edge of my bed. "I'll wait for the other half. I need a few minutes with these" he says. Before I can make a cheeky comment I feel his right hand on one and his tongue on the other.

"Fuckkkk me" I groan as I feel my juices pooling in my underwear. "Christian" I moan out.

"Tell me how wet you are, baby"

"Soaked"

"Don't touch yourself when I leave"

"Wha-what?" _Is he nuts? The second he left I was planning to pull out my vibrator._

"As a matter of fact, give it to me"

"Give what to you?" I say looking down at him with a curious look.

"Your vibrator"

"What makes you think I have one?"

"Come now, Anastasia. Don't be shy. Tell me, do you have a name for that pink toy in your bedside table?"

"You looked in there!" I say pushing him back slightly. "How rude!"

"You snuck into my playroom!" He says crossing his arms and I can't even argue with him.

"Okay we're even"

"So give it to me"

"No!"

"So you're going to make yourself come when I leave then?" He asks me.

"That's the plan"

"What are you going to think about?" he says circling my nipple with his tongue before leaving a trail of wet kisses.

"You" I breathe out.

"What about me?"

"Fucking me. With… everything. Cock, tongue, fingers" I groan. _I've never been so vocal about sex, this man just turns me into a whole new person._

"You know how good it's going to be don't you baby?" He says standing up and peppering kisses along my face. "I'm going to break you in half. And you're going to love it" he says.

I almost want to tell him to stay and do it now, but I know he has to go. "When?"

"Tonight. We'll go to my place."

I nod. "Okay" I say opening my eyes when I feel the loss of contact. He hands me my shirt.

"Put this on" I do as he says. "Now give me your underwear"

"What?"

He holds his hands out before looking at the apex of my thighs and then his hand indicating what to do. "I want them"

I narrow my eyes at him wondering who in the world this kinky man is and more importantly where the hell he's been all my life. I slide them down my legs slowly before placing them in his hands. I see him finger them gently and I almost faint when I see him bring them to his face and breathe deeply. "Chris-" I say but he puts a finger to my lips before replacing them with his own.

I see him pocket my underwear. "I have to go, I'll pick you up at seven. Okay?"

"Okay"

He kisses my forehead. "I love you" I nod back and only then do I realize I haven't said it yet. It's the third time he's said it to me and I wonder if he's upset that I haven't. I walk him to the door and give him a final kiss goodbye.

"Remember no coming. I'll know, Anastasia"

 _Yeah yeah right._ "Sure you will" I roll my eyes.

He chuckles before he heads for my stairs. I close my door behind him and lean against it letting out a deep breath. _Ho-ly Shit. Okay let's bang this orgasm out and then I'll call Liv._

I beeline for my room, jump on my bed and reach for my vibrator. I'm already naked and wet so I don't need any preparation. I grab it and hit the on switch when nothing happens. I sit up slightly wondering what is going on and give it a shake. Still nothing. _What the fuck are the batteries dead? I just changed them_. I open it up to check the batteries and my eyes widen when I see they're gone. "CHRISTIAN!" I scream. And as if he could hear me I get a text message from him.

 **Don't bother checking the remotes either. X**

 _A/N: After all this, you thought I was just gonna let them jump into bed? Hehe. And because I know some of you will ask, this isn't the last we've seen of Jane because… hell hath no fury like a woman scorned yaknow ;)_


	7. Sweet Love And Not So Sweet Secrets

I hear my buzzer signaling Christian is here and I smile like a giddy teenager. I all but sprint to the speaker. "Hiiii" I say knowing that it's him. "I'll be down in one second"

"Hello beautiful. Let me up"

"Now? I thought-"

"I need a few minutes alone with you first" he interrupts and I hit the button letting him up before I can think. _I should think about giving him a key._ I hear a few raps on my door and I open it and see the biggest bouquet of white roses I've ever seen and I melt.

I bite down on my lower lip as he lowers the bouquet and his face comes into view. "They're beautiful. You remembered they're my favorite" I say shocked he remembered something from that first night of drunken confessions.

He walks in closing the door behind us and setting the roses on the coffee table before turning back to me. "I remember everything, Miss Steele" he pushes me against the door and cups my face. "I thought about you all fucking day." He whispers against my mouth before he places a gentle kiss on it.

"I know" I giggle. "I got all of your calls and texts and emails" Christian and I had two thirty minute conversations today, one which almost turned to phone sex and at least two email chains of flirty banter on top of our standard all day texting.

"Well excuse me for wanting to talk to you" he jokes and I laugh.

"I am pretty fun to talk to"

"Mmmhm. But now I don't want to talk." He says before pressing his lips to mine. He runs his tongue along my bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth and nibbling gently. "I've been wanting to bite this lip" he says.

"I wouldn't mind you doing the same to the other ones" I say cheekily as my eyes cast down. When I look up his eyes are burning into mine.

"We should go" he says picking up my bag. "I'm about to have my way with you right on this couch, and I have a plan."

"A plan?" I ask excitedly as he pulls me through the threshold my poor flowers completely forgotten.

XXXXXXXXXXX

The ride over was the most erotic foreplay I've ever had and he barely even touched me. He held my hand for the majority of the ride, bringing it to his mouth multiple times to kiss it. At one point, his hand stroked my bare shoulder. "You look lovely" he says and I'm so overcome with lust that I can barely muster up a response.

"Thank-you" I say.

"I can't wait to get you out of that dress" I squeeze my legs together and he smiles. "Soon" he says and that word holds so much promise. At one point he drapes my legs over his and let's his fingers dance up and down my smooth, silky legs. "I'm going to run my mouth over every inch of these, Anastasia." _Why have I never noticed how hot my name sounds coming from his mouth?_ I look at Taylor and nod towards him and he chuckles. "He has an earpiece in. He can't hear us" I nod and the rest of the car ride is virtually quiet. Christian's hands doing all the talking for both of us.

I'm immediately hit with the smell of pasta when I walk into Christian's penthouse and my mouth waters. _For a different reason it was watering the whole way over_. My libido is put on hold for a second as the thought of carbs takes over my brain. "I want it" I say looking at him. "What is it!?"

"Well I researched that pasta you love and I asked Gail to see if she could make it"

"Oh my God!" I jump a little and clap my hands. "From Cheesecake Factory?!"

"Yes" he chuckles and pulls me into his arms. "I take it you're happy"

"Yes! Is it ready?"

"Almost. I figured we could make out to pass the time" he says with a sly grin and I wrap my arms around his neck. I press my lips to his and I feel Christian's hand under my dress, going higher and higher. He cups my behind and groans but pulls back slightly when he realizes what's _not_ there. _Bingo_. "You're not wearing panties?" He says more to himself than me but I shake my head.

"When you took them from me this morning I took that to mean you didn't want me in them?" I say twirling a strand of my hair around my finger. "Was that not right?"

He whips us around so I'm against the wall in his foyer and he descends down my body. "You're a fucking minx, you know that?" He bunches my dress in his hands and lifts it slightly. "Part your legs"

I do as he's told and before I can think his head is under my dress and one of my legs is over his shoulder. I feel his breath on my wet folds and despite where we are with Gail one room over I can't stop myself from begging for him to touch me, lick me, _anything_. "Please" I whimper. "I need… you"

I hear him growl from under my dress and I feel what I believe to be his nose pushing against my folds. I let out a deep breath and I almost faint when I feel his tongue take a long lick through my center. My hands can't find his hair under my dress but I want to watch, desperately. I lift my dress bringing this gorgeous man into view. I look down to find his eyes boring into mine as he works me over and I whimper in response. I want to avert my eyes under his intense gaze but I can't look away. I've never been with a man that did this on his own. My ex never wanted to. _Ever_. In six years, I could count on two hands the times he did it. He said it wasn't for him and wanted to get me off with his cock. Except he couldn't do that either.

And here I am knowing a man barely 6 weeks and intimate with him barely 6 hours and his head is already between my legs.

He stands up in front of me his lips glistening with my arousal. "Stop thinking so much"

I blush under his piercing gray eyes. "Sorry.. I… you are amazing at it" I say unable to find the appropriate response. _I don't want him to think I'm not enjoying it._

"Feel it. Get out of your head."

I nod my head and he places a kiss on my lips. My own arousal is left on my lips and I swipe my bottom lip with my tongue. _Tangy, sweet and fucking taboo. Holy shit this man._ He moves back to his place between my legs and I go to stop him. "Wait you don't have to-"

"Oh yes I do. You're coming before dinner, Ana. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Your choice"

 _What's the hard way?_ I wonder to myself. I yelp when I feel a hard pinch on that slick bundle of nerves between my legs. "Christian!"

"Stop. Thinking. The only thing you should be thinking about is you coming all over my tongue and how fast you can make that happen" he says before he slows his ministrations lapping me slowly. I let my head fall back and hit the wall and close my eyes letting the pleasure take over my body. I reach down feeling his hair and begin to scratch his scalp. He groans against me and the vibrations send a shiver through me.

"Oh God, baby I'm going to come" I say as I feel the familiar feeling starting to spread through me. I squeeze my eyes shut as I feel the first wave and soon I'm coming apart. Fast. Like an explosion ripping through me and I feel my legs give out from under me. I feel his arms around my waist keeping me upright as his mouth stays attached to my clit. I have no idea how loud I'm being right now but I can't focus on anything except this gorgeous man below me giving me pleasure I've never experienced.

I feel a slight involuntary twitch move through me and I let out a breath. He stands up and if I had the ability to speak I would tell him to wipe that smug grin off his face. "You taste fucking delectable. I'm doing that again tonight. Multiple times."

He pulls me through the foyer before I can respond. I'm shocked at the scene before me when we reach his dining room table. Candles, flowers, the whole nine yards. "Christian" _In all my years of dating I never had this kind of courtship, this kind of love and devotion and worship._ I don't even feel the tears on my cheeks before I feel his hands wiping them.

"Please don't cry, baby."

"I just…" I can't get the words out and I put my hand over my eyes trying to hide my embarrassment when he pulls it away and kisses me softly. "No one has ever done anything like this for me"

"I've never done anything like this for anyone so we are one in the same" he says trying to make me laugh, I think. "Come on, you've got no sarcastic remark for me? I kind of thought you'd think it was cheesy"

I shake my head no. "No it's beautiful. I put my hand on his face before I move towards the table. He pulls a chair out for me and I sit.

"Dinner should be ready soon. I've already had an appetizer but you must be hungry" he grins at me and I roll my eyes.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

We all but bolted to his bedroom after dinner and now we are lying side by side on his bed, still fully clothed.

"So your ex never did anything special for you? Treat you like the perfect woman you are?" He pauses and then sits up on his elbow to look down at me. "He clearly didn't eat your pussy right the way you were in your head"

"He wasn't very… concerned with that"

"With what?"

"Any of what you said"

"What an asshole" he bites out. "He probably didn't know what to do with you, did he? I haven't even fucked you and I already know how to make your body come alive" he says as he climbs on top of me. He nudges my legs open so he can settle between them. "You know how good it's going to be, don't you?" He says, his eyes staring straight through me.

"Show me" I whimper as I wrap my legs around him, his jeans pressing against my bare core.

"No"

"No?" I ask wondering how he's possibly having this much restraint. "I thought- I mean you said…"

"Oh make no mistake, it's taking every ounce of self control not to fuck you within an inch of your life right now" he says and I clench as I wonder what exactly that feels like.

"But…?"

He sits up running a hand down my leg. "You're going to have to say it, Anastasia.. I know you feel it but I need you to say the words" I let out a breath. _Why? I'm sure he's slept with women without saying I love you before? What makes this so different? Because you're different, Ana._ I'm at a loss for words as he's staring at me. I feel his hands on my face. "I'm not going to hurt you Ana. You can trust me. You know me…" he trails off and I see a trace of something in his eyes I can't trace.

I sit up as well. "There's so much we don't know about each other. We've only known each other about three weeks and realized our feelings yesterday…" I trail off. "I study love as a career Christian I'm just…"

"Skeptical? Of me?"

I shake my head. "No I'm just… scared" I say avoiding his gaze.

"You have no reason to be afraid" he says softly. "But I won't push you. Just know that I love you. I know that I do. You're it for me, Ana. It may be a short period of time but when you know, you know. And I _know_ "

We sit in silence for a moment as I'm staring off into space when I turn to him. "I know too"

He smiles at me before I feel his lips on my temple and peppering kisses down my cheek. "Tell me, baby"

"Please don't hurt me" I say resting my hands on top of his resting on my face. _Don't turn me into one of those broken hearted women you've left in the past._

"Never, Ana I need you too much."

"I do.. I love you too, Christian. So much. And I want this so badly it hurts"

The words are barely out of my mouth before he's crushing me to his chest and his mouth is in my ear telling me how much he loves me and never want to be without me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

C POV

 _I never thought true happiness was in the cards for me. After the hand I had been dealt in my childhood, I was expecting a life of complacency. Maybe fleeting moments of happiness but no complete feelings of bliss. But as I lay in my bed with Anastasia Steele in my arms, her hands roaming freely on my chest I know I have found complete happiness. When she told me she loved me I wanted to beat my chest with pride. The last three weeks have led to this moment and I'm so glad they did. I can't believe one drunk night at a bar drowning my sorrows over a failed relationship led to me finding the love of my life._

"I want this" she says climbing on top of me, straddling me. "Please make love to me now" she says placing a hot kiss on my neck. "Fuck me. Make me yours" she groans pulling her dress over her head leaving her completely naked on top of me.

I sit up so we are nose to nose and flip us so she's under me and I sit back on my knees to get a better look at her in all her glory. "You're so beautiful" I say running my hand down her body just shy of her mound.

I pull my clothes off in record time leaving us both naked. I run two fingers through her folds and as suspected she's dripping wet. I lick her essences lasciviously off my fingers and I'm pleased at the effect it has on her. She reaches for me and makes contact, wrapping her hand around my cock. She squeezes gently and I groan as I begin to grow harder in her hand. "I need you" she moans, pulling my cock towards her folds. She looks up at me shyly. "I'm on the pill but…" she trails off.

"I'm clean, Ana. I would never… want to do anything to hurt you. You're safe with me baby"

She nods. "Same" she pulls me slightly further and my cock makes contact with her folds as she rubs herself with my dick.

"Fuck. You're so wet and warm." I groan letting my head drop into the crook of her neck. "Let me inside, Ana." I begin to rock towards her slowly and inch by inch I submerge myself completely inside of her.

"Oh my God it's so deep! Jesus Godddddd. Harder" she whimpers.

 _Yes ma'am._ I think to myself as I fuck her into oblivion.

It's hours later after we've fucked like rabbits all over my penthouse. _I've never had this kind of passion with anyone._ I'm completely spent as Ana rests her head on my chest, her leg splayed across me. "This was unbelievable"

"Fuck yeah" I say. "I had no idea sex could be like that"

"So it's safe to say I'm the best you've ever had then?" She asks perking her head up to look at me with a cheeky grin.

"Oh yeah. No one holds a candle to you. Not that anyone ever did to begin with"

"I've never felt so safe and loved and protected. Thank you" she says and I smile.

"Thank _you_ , Anastasia. For doing the same for me"

XXXXXXXXXXX

A POV

It's a few days later, when I'm sitting in my favorite coffee shop working on my column. It was technically due yesterday but I spent the day with Christian and he certainly didn't let me get any work done. _God that man and his penis… and his mouth and his… ok Ana FOCUS!_ I shake my head ridding my thoughts when I see a somewhat familiar face come into view as she sits in front of me. I look up and stare at her in almost horror.

"Ummm hi?"

"So you do know me"

"Yes" I nod.

"Great so no need for awkward introductions" she says and takes a sip of her drink.

"What can I help you with, Jane?" I say trying to keep the bitchiness out of my voice but doing an awful job I think.

"I wanted to talk to you about Christian"

"I assumed you weren't here to gab like girlfriends" I say raising an eyebrow.

"You should be careful with him"

"Thanks for the warning" I say closing my laptop. "Now if that's all, I'm going to go" I say standing up.

"Has he told you everything? About his past? You're a smart girl, you can't possibly think he's exorcised all his demons just because you waltzed in and got him drunk and took him to karaoke."

 _Karaoke!? How does she…? Kate probably told her._ "Christian and I don't have anything between us. We don't have secrets. We trust each other"

"So that means he's told you about Elena then?" Jane says and the way she says it makes my blood run cold.

I turn back around to face her, my heart hammering out of my chest. "Whatever it is you have to say, I'm really not interested. Christian has told me everything I need to know"

She laughs. "So that's a no. Because something like this isn't something you just overlook because the dick is good"

I grit my teeth together. _Fuck this jealous bitch_. "I've had about enough of your games, say what you have to say" _Goddamn curiosity._

"He never explained to you how he got into BDSM?"

"No.. I mean not really"

"When he was fifteen his best friend's mother seduced him. He went over to her house after school to help her with yard work. And I don't know somewhere between raking leaves and cleaning her gutters she ended up riding his dick." She shrugs and I wonder how she can speak about it so nonchalantly when I'm feeling the bile rise in my throat.

"You're lying"

"No, Ana. I'm not" She says giving me a serious look. "They were in a dom sub relationship for like six years."

My mouth drops open. "Wha… how? He went to college across the country."

"She would go visit him, he came home… it was some really co-dependent sick shit"

"She… that's rape" I say feeling my hands begin to shake.

"Not in his eyes. He believed it was consensual. He said at the time he swore up and down that she helped him. Kept him out of trouble, out of jail… out of the ground. On some level I think he still does."

The eyes well up in my eyes for this man I've fallen hard for. _How could he not tell me all of this? But he told Jane? He said he loves me. He said he trusts me! We said no secrets._ "Why did they stop… when did they stop sleeping together?" _Please don't tell me it was recently, please don't tell me it was recently._ I chant in my head.

"When he was twenty-one, he dropped out of Harvard and moved home. His parents went ballistic, but he wanted out and Elena was whispering in his ear telling him he didn't need school and that she would loan him the money for his business. She did and poof! GEH was born. Once he became successful, he bought shares in her salon and they became 'business partners'" she says using her hands for air quotes. "At this time though he no longer wanted to be a submissive, so she started training him to become a dominant. After about six months, he started going to clubs and she would help him select submissives. But as far as I know they haven't been together since then"

 _Holy shit! This was the woman- the friend that helped him? The one he told me about? No wonder he took the shot and didn't answer when I pushed for more answers. This is so fucked up._ I sit back down in the chair I was seated at and let out the breath I was holding. "So they're still business partners then?" I say staring at a spot on the table, wondering if I would turn to stone if I looked Jane in the eyes.

"No"

"No?" I say finally looking up.

"About two years ago, Elena was caught with another underage boy. A few of them to be exact. Her ass got thrown into jail for thirty two years. The statute of limitations was up for Christian but there were four others within the last 10 or so years. Eight years per boy. Christian was really hurt by it all, and I think during the trial- hearing their parents speak, and the boys speak about their time in her dungeon he realized just how much she manipulated him."

"Does he still think she helped him?"

She shrugs. "I don't know. Elena really did a number on him. Kept him away from his family, his friends. He never really had a normal adolescence. She made him believe he didn't need love. That it was overrated" Her words shake me to my core as I remember he said that the first night we met. She scoffs. "But then you came along. And all of a sudden he's magically changed"

"It does happen, Jane. People do change. Under the right circumstances… and for the right people."

She huffs. "I suppose. Look you can do whatever you want with the information I gave you. I just thought you deserved to know exactly what you're getting into." _What is she expecting a fucking thank you? "_ One thing that doesn't sit right with me though- if that's who taught him about sex and introduced him to BDSM it makes me wonder if he's ever had young tastes as well? You know because Elena did him SO much good, if he should do the same. Pay it forward if you will." She says rolling her eyes.

The insinuation in her voice that Christian- _my_ Christian would ever hurt anyone has my blood boiling. "Don't you dare! Christian would never do anything like that. He has a good and honest heart" I stand up. "I'm done with this conversation" I say and I'm gone before she has a chance to say another word. I'm standing outside of the coffee shop where Jane just bombarded me with all of this information and I know what I have to do. I'll explode if I don't confront him about this and before I even realize what I'm doing I'm speed walking back to my apartment to get my car.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I didn't think I could be this nervous but I feel my palms start to sweat as I walk through his building towards his office.

"Miss Steele!" Andrea says with a smile. "Mr. Grey isn't expecting you, I don't think?" She says looking at her computer. "But go right in, he's not with anyone"

"Great" I say trying to plaster on a smile but I think it just comes off looking creepy.

I'm through his door and although I try to stop it I end up slamming his door, _hard_. I can't control the physiological reactions to what is about to happen. My heart is pounding, I'm sweating and I'm short of breath.

He looks up from his computer with wide eyes. "Ana? What's wrong?" He says moving towards me quickly. He tries to pull me into his arms but I push him back and shake my head.

"No! No no no don't touch me. If you touch me I won't be able to get this out. And we have to talk" I feel the tears in the back of my throat and I wonder how long I have before they start streaming down my face. "Tell me the truth" I whisper and he looks at me as if he has no idea what I'm talking about. "Don't you dare try and act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Jane told me everything"

I wonder if he's starting to connect the dots. "You talked to Jane? What did she say to you, baby?" He asks and I try to ignore the term of endearment as it does things to me.

"Don't…" I shake my head. "You have had so many opportunities to tell me everything. We talked for hours the other night! You know things about me that NO one knows. Not even Olivia! And you couldn't tell me about Elena? Did you think I would run from you? But you told Jane!? You said you loved me and you trusted me but the first chance you have to prove that to me you don't. How do you think that makes me feel? I feel like you lied to me! That you're hiding things from me!" I yell and I back away from him as he moves towards me. I feel myself hit the door and he boxes me in, pulling me into a hug. I feel his lips on my neck. I try to push away from him but he just holds me tighter.

"I'm sorry" he whispers. "I was scared you'd leave me if you knew… I was going to tell you I swear. I just needed more time" he pulls back to look at me and the look in his eyes destroys me. "What did she tell you, Ana?"

"Everything. I think? I don't know." I bite my bottom lip. "She raped you, Christian." The tears streaming down my face. "Jane said you don't see it that way? Tell me you don't believe that. Tell me that you know she was wrong. That all of it was wrong."

"Of course I think it was wrong. At the time, yes I thought she was helping. But after the trial… I realized how much damage was done. How much she damaged _me_ "

"You're not damaged, Christian" I say quietly. _I can't stop myself from wondering how much truth there is to that statement. Was I saying that to make him feel better? Or make myself feel better?_ He is completely surrounding me still, and I feel the sudden urge to put space between us so I push him away slightly and walk to his couch to sit down. "Can I have some water?" _I just need him to stop looking at me for five seconds._

After a minute, he sits next to me, putting a glass down and pulls my hands to his lips. "Please don't hate me" he says softly. "I know I should have told you. But everything has been… so amazing and perfect. I didn't want to ruin it with all of this"

"What else haven't you told me?" He swallows and my eyes widen. "Oh my God, Christian. There's more? What else could there possibly be?!" Jane's words begin to ring in my head. _It makes me wonder if he had young tastes as well?_ "Tell me you didn't seduce a fifteen year old girl"

His eyes widen and he shoots to his feet in an instant. "Are you out of your mind, Anastasia? Do you really think- you really think that little of me? That I would do something like that?"

"You thought Elena helped you! You clearly didn't have the best judgment at the time! Maybe you thought it would be helping some other 'lost soul'" I say.

He lowers his head in shame and my heart sinks. "You do think that little of me"

"I don't know what to think" I say. "When Jane said it-"

"When Jane said WHAT?" He interrupts.

"She said that she wondered if you had young tastes as well"

"Son of a-" he whispers under his breath but I hear it. "So she put that in your head?" He says coming back towards me and sitting on the coffee table so we are face to face as I am still seated on the couch. "No. Ana, I would never do something like that. All of my submissives were over eighteen. Much over"

"I didn't think you would do something like that but… I just had to be sure" I say breathing a sigh of relief. Although Christian omitted a lot of things I don't believe he would ever lie straight to my face.

"What else did she tell you?"

I tell him everything that Jane told me and I can see him getting more agitated by the second. When I am finished, Christian looks like he's ready to lose it. "Christian" I say softly as I reach for his hand. He's staring off into space and within a split second I'm pulled into his arms and they are wrapped tightly around me.

"Touch me" he pulls back to look at me.

"Now?" I ask.

"Yes. Please" He says and I can hear the desperation in his voice. I do as he asks and he lets out a sigh. I rub his chest gently and he looks up at me with sad eyes. "I am so sorry I didn't tell you. That you had to find out this way"

I nod. "Me too. It just hurts that you didn't trust me"

"I do trust you, baby. You know that"

"It didn't seem like it. You didn't trust that I wouldn't run from you"

"It's some pretty sick shit… and… there's more"

I look at him for a second. "Go on"

"I don't want you to think that you fall into this category because I wasn't looking for a submissive the night we met" I nod my head to let him know that I'm following although I'm already confused. "I had… certain tastes… in women"

My eyes furrow together. "Like their looks?"

"Yes"

"Do I fit the description?"

He sighs and I figure I have my answer. "So I look like all the other women you've been with?"

"No. I see so much more than a beautiful brunette when I look at you"

"That's it? Just brown hair?"

"For the most part, yes. Preferably long. Slender figure. You're a bit shorter than most of the women I've been with." He holds me tighter. "I love that. You're small and petite and I love how you feel in my arms. I love how it feels to fuck you" he says as he looks directly into my eyes and I get goosebumps upon hearing the word _fuck_. He takes a deep breath. "But there was a reason for it…" he trails off. "I liked to whip brown haired women because they reminded me of my mother"

I can't even avoid the gasp that leaves me and for a moment I just stare at him. "I- I don't know what to say" _And I really don't._ "That is-"

"Fucked up. I know"

"I wasn't going to use those exact words" I say rubbing my head. "Do I…" I start and I wonder if I even want to know the answer. "Are you attracted to me because I look like them…? Like your mother?"

"No." He says sternly as he grabs my face so that we can make eye contact. "I'm _in love_ with you because you're the first woman that makes me excited about life and love and.. Having a future with someone" he says and I can't mistake the slight tinge of pink in his cheeks. "I'm in love with you because the moment we met you didn't try to flirt your way into bed with me. You saw me as so much more than a nice face. It was like you were the first person to see me, for _me_. I may be crazy in love with you, Ana, but you're still by far the best friend I've ever had and you know me better than anyone. What I feel for you is so far past attraction"

I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing these declarations of love and devotion that Christian gives. "I'm crazy in love with you too, Christian" I whisper and it's the truth. _Maybe I'm crazy for loving this man but I can't stop. I never want to stop._

"So that means you're not running for the hills then?"

I shake my head. "No"

"Thank fuck" he sighs as he crushes me to his chest. "I love you" he says before placing a kiss on my forehead. I look up and present my lips to him wanting him to kiss me and he smiles before pulling me into a heated kiss.

"I love you too. Is there anything else I should know?"

"No that's all of it"

"You're sure…" I say narrowing my eyes at him curiously.

"Yes, no more secrets" he says.

An hour later, we are as naked as the day we were born on the couch in his office when I drag my lips up his chest before I look up at him. "Can you leave?"

"Now?" He asks looking at his watch.

"Yeah, blow off the rest of the day"

"What did you have in mind?" He asks raising an eyebrow at me.

"You, me… a bed... And maybe tacos?" I say and he chuckles.

"That sounds perfect. I do need to figure out how I'm going to handle Jane though. I need to contact legal"

"Legal?"

"She violated her NDA… what if she continues talking that trash to someone else? The press? Anyone? The only person I cared about her blabbing to now already knows but I don't know what other damage she could do"

"Well technically I am the press" I giggle. "And I think she thought telling me would make me run, and maybe you'd go back to her. I don't think she wants to ruin _you_ necessarily. Only your relationship with me"

"Well that certainly backfired" he says eyeing me warily.

"I'm not leaving you, Christian. I'm here. I'm in this with you. I want you and this" I say placing a kiss over his heart. "She didn't succeed in running me off. I promise"

He visibly sighs and I smile sadly. _He's so worried that I'll leave him. The self-doubt this man goes through breaks my heart. I wish he understood I just want to be close to him, for him to open up to me. That I love and adore him as much as he does me._ "Still, I need to talk to her about-"

"Uh run that by me again?" I say sitting up to look down at him. His hand is still secure around my back as I try to wriggle out of his hold. "I don't want you talking to her" I say and I am fully aware that this makes me sound like a jealous girlfriend.

"Why Miss Steele…" He says. "You're not jealous are you?"

"I would just prefer my boyfriend not meeting up with his ex"

"I'm not _meeting_ up with her. She's in breach of contract. She signed an NDA which means she can't tell anyone about us or me. She violated that. I am pissed and I want answers"

"You know why she did it, what is speaking with her going to solve? If you want to sue her or blacklist her you don't have to see her to do it. Don't you have lawyers that take care of that kind of stuff?"

He sits up, moving me with him. "I won't meet with her directly." He runs a hand down my cheek. "I don't want to upset you"

I want to argue that I'm really not a jealous person and that I trust him but I stay quiet. _I don't trust Jane and I don't want my man anywhere near her._ So I just nod. "Thank you"

XXXXXXXXXXXX

CPOV

 _It's been five days since my lawyers attempted to make contact with Jane and nothing. They've emailed, called and the next step is approaching her at her job or at home. I almost feel it would be better if I handled this myself. But I promised Ana that I wouldn't deal with her directly. But I just want this over with! Ana has to understand that I just want to move on.. with her. And I want Jane dealt with. Yesterday._ I pick up the phone to try and call and reason with Ana.. _maybe if she came with me. Doesn't she trust me alone with her?_ I pull at my hair and slam my fist down. _No. Why do anything to jeopardize things with Ana. Just let legal handle it._

I'm leaving GEH early in an effort to meet Ana for an early happy hour that evidently has the best calamari in Seattle when I hear my name called from behind me. I turn my head and see Jane walking towards me. _I've wondered how I would feel if I saw her again. Rage? Anger? Sadness? But honestly, I feel nothing but pity. I hurt this woman. Even if some of her reasoning is a bit deluded, I can't deny her pain. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned._ I sigh and take a step towards her.

"I see you have your legal team reaching out" she says.

"What did you expect, Jane? You went after Ana." My heart constricts saying her name. I'm out in public outside of GEH talking to Jane. I can only hope I get to tell her before it gets to her first. "I told you those things in confidence and you tried to use it to hurt her. What you didn't count on was that she loves me too. She didn't run." I say coolly.

"She deserved to know and you weren't going to tell her. And sure now she's understanding. Just wait until that sets in-"

I interrupt her by putting a hand up. "Jane, enough. These attempts to drive a wedge between Ana and I or break us up because you think it will send me running back to you are getting pathetic. For the last time, I am SORRY. But you have got to move on. I was going to tell her everything in my own time NOT that it is any of your business what I disclose to my _girlfriend_. None of this is the point. The point is you signed something saying you wouldn't tell a soul about our time together or about me and you violated that. I have every right to take legal action. To sue you. To take you for every dime." I say and I see her cower slightly. "But." I start. "If you would have bothered to speak with my legal team you would have seen that I wasn't going that route. I'm not that heartless as to seize what little assets you have. To leave you penniless. Maybe once upon a time I would have. But that is hateful and the opposite of love isn't hate, Jane. It's indifference. And I just want you out of my life the fastest way possible. I don't care how it happens." I say. "On the other hand" I say crossing my hands. "I do believe in teaching valuable lessons." I see her gulp and I continue. "Thereby your dreams of getting into publishing? Done. Find a new dream. New career path. Sales? Go for it. Lawyer? Awesome. But you're blacklisted from every publishing company in the United States. You won't be able to get a job at so much as a library" I bite. "You went after what I love, I'm going after what you love" I say before reaching into my briefcase and pulling out the document I have from legal. "Now if you don't cooperate, or you go to the press or _anyone_ for that matter about this, then I will press formal charges and I _will_ win." I hand her the paper. "I would sign. Trust me you're getting off easy"

She takes the paper and pen with shaky hands before looking up at me. Her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "This is what a woman gets for falling in love?"

"No. This is what you get for for going after the woman I love. I protect what's mine, Jane. You would do well to remember that" The contract is fairly to the point so she reads it over fairly quickly before signing her name and handing it back to me. "I'll have your copies served to you within the day" I say. "I'm sorry it had to come to this." I say.

"Me too." She says sadly. "I should go"

"You should" and with that she's gone. I wonder if it's the last I'll see of Jane and then I remember Elliott is dating her best friend and I groan. I'm about to get into the car when a flash of tanned skin and white manicured nails reaches for my arm and pulls _hard._ I see Taylor out of the car in a flash when I see who's got a hold on me so I put a hand up keeping him in place.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" She growls at me and I look around wondering if anyone heard her.

I sigh. "Olivia, calm down"

"Calm down?! I just witnessed what? A lovers quarrel? Why the fuck are you talking to her?" She stamps her foot and as angry as she is I can't escape the sad look behind her cold brown eyes.

"Olivia, get in the car"

"No. Screw you, I want answers"

I sigh knowing I'm not going to get anywhere with her. "I need you to relax. Nothing was going on."

"Bullshit. And I'm plenty relaxed. If I wasn't I wouldn't be here talking to you. I'm giving you a chance to explain but don't test my patience, Grey"

"Do you know that Jane approached Ana?" I sigh knowing I'm going to have to tell her more than I really wanted to.

"When?" She says her eyes widening angrily.

"About five days ago. Told her some things that she had no business telling her. About me.. about our time together. She was in violation of her NDA."

"You had her sign a non disclosure agreement? Jesus Christ what weird shit are you into?"

"That's not the point" I snap. "The point is Ana knew bits and pieces and Jane filled in all the goddamn blanks. I am angry and pissed and my legal team has been reaching out. I wanted to do it myself but Ana asked that I didn't see her. She approached me today. I didn't seek her out."

"Has Ana signed one?" She asks.

"Yes. When we first became friends and I wasn't convinced she wouldn't use what I tell her in her column. But I've since ripped it up. It's now void"

"So you aren't cheating on Ana?"

"Of course not! I would never.. is that what you thought that was? Us getting back together?"

"I didn't know what to think. All I saw was you and your ex… Ana showed me a picture of her and I don't know I panicked. She really loves you, Christian. I've never seen her like this. She dated someone for six years and I never saw the spark in her eye that she has now with you. And she's my best friend.. when it comes to her I swing first and ask questions later"

My heart skips a beat hearing Ana's best friend talk about how happy she is with me. "I can appreciate that. And I am glad she has someone in her corner…" I trail off. "But I'm there too now. And I need you to trust that"

She nods. "I can do that and I'm sorry for freaking out on you"

"Thank you for your apology.. can I just ask that you don't tell Ana before I have a chance to?"

She narrows her eyes at me before looking at the ground guiltily. "I called her when I saw you two" she says sadly. "And I sent her a picture"

I back up, the pain of her admission overwhelming me as I feel my Audi behind me. "She's- going to hate me" I choke out.

"No she's not, we will explain! It'll be okay"

"She asked me not to!"

"And Jane approached you! We are in broad daylight, if you were going to do something shady surely you would have taken it behind closed doors!"

"That's why you approached me screaming, right?"

She blanches. "Okay in hindsight my reasoning didn't make a lot of sense.. but I just snapped! I wasn't thinking clearly. I'm sorry! That is not the point right now. The point is we have to find Ana and make her listen."

"We?" I ask.

"Yes. We. You're going to want my help"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

APOV

I'm sitting on the side of my bathtub still in complete silence as I stare at the picture on my phone. I was putting on my final coat of mascara when Olivia called in a panic talking about Christian and Jane.. talking. _I thought she had to be wrong but.. pictures are worth a thousand words. How could he do this? After I explicitly explained how uncomfortable I was with him talking to her. Now do I think there's more to it then him giving her something to sign or telling her off? No. I don't. At least I don't think? But he still went behind my back and did this. Is this what our life would be like? Me asking him to do or not do something and him completely disregarding my feelings? Am I willing to sign up for a life like that?_

 **A/N: THEY DID IT! Finally ;) Shoutout to my FF partner in crime, Diamond Child, for the title of this chapter (and everything else you help me with) you rock!**


	8. The Truth Will Set You Free

_The truth will set you free… but first it will piss you off._

A POV

I manage to move from my bathroom and into my living room letting myself fall to the couch. If I know my best friend like I think I do she should be showing up at my door at any moment to rant about her findings. I am supposed to be meeting Christian for happy hour and although I'm irritated I am not going to stand him up. Not that I'm even in the mood to be happy and certainly not for an entire hour. I pick up my phone to call Christian to ask if maybe we could change our plans and stay in instead when I hear keys in my door indicating that Olivia is here. As much as I love her, I'm really not in the mood for this. I want to talk to Christian without interference from my lovable, loyal but ever so nosy best friend. I cross my legs and I'm shocked when I see both Olivia and Christian walk through my door. I look back and forth between them. "What is going on?"

She darts towards me sitting down on the couch next to me."I made a huge mistake. I jumped to about a million conclusions. I'm sorry."

I look up at Christian and he's leaning against my door his hands stuffed in his pockets. I can see the hurt and worry etched all over his perfect features. I turn back to Olivia. "Liv can you give us a sec" I can feel her gaze on me but I'm too focused on the nervous man in front of me. I see her move from my peripherals and I get up to close the space between us. I put my hands on his chest and stare up into his grey eyes. "Tell me what happened"

His eyes widen and looks down the hall where Olivia disappeared to. "You don't… want to hear from her?"

"No. I want to hear it from you. I trust you just as much as I trust Liv."

The relief in his eyes is unmistakable. "She said I would need her help… I thought you wouldn't believe me unless she was here to get you to listen" he says looking to the ground.

The pain in his voice is evident and I wish he didn't feel that he needed help talking to me. "You don't need anyone to get me to trust you, Christian. I trust you completely. Tell me what happened"

He nods. "She approached me, Ana. I had no idea she was coming. You know that I've been having my legal team reach out to her for the last few days but the calls and emails have all gone unanswered. I guess she wanted to speak to me in person"

"What did she say?"

"That she felt that you needed to know.. She thought she was doing you a service, apparently by telling you everything"

I snort. "Yeah I'll bet"

"I served her the papers for violating the NDA"

 _I read through them and yeah they were a bit harsh. Note to self, stay off of Christian's bad side. But who knew what else she was capable of? What if she went to the press- the ones that weren't madly in love with him? Even I know what a great story it would be. Christian and all of his extra curricular activities. Sex sells and he's the definition of sex._ "How did she take that?"

"How you would expect. But she signed the papers and that's all that matters." He's silent for a minute before he cups my cheeks, slowly rubbing his thumbs across them. "What did you think when Olivia called you?"

I shrug. "I- I don't know. I didn't think you were getting back together with her or anything like that. I figured you were just tired of waiting for your legal team and you wanted to handle it yourself and be done with it. I wasn't so much angry at you for doing that or seeing her as much as I was for doing something I expressed an issue with. I had asked that you not see her and when I thought you did… I don't know it felt like a bit of a 'fuck you' to my feelings"

"Sweetheart" he says in my ear and I hear footsteps letting me know Olivia is approaching.

"I'm impressed, maybe you don't need me" she says crossing her arms before picking her bag up from the couch. She moves towards us and engulfs me in a hug pulling me out of Christian's arms. "He's good peeps" she says with a small smile and I know in my heart of hearts she believes that. _She doesn't make those kind of comments unless she means it. And if Olivia Greene liked someone that meant something. Olivia didn't like many people and liked even fewer when it came to me._

Once she leaves I move towards my bedroom. I am halfway there when I realize he's not behind me and I move back to the living room to find him still standing there. "Are you coming?"

"Do you want me to?" I nod my head before holding my hand out for him to come to me. Once he's within arm's reach, I wrap my arms around his neck bringing his face down to me so I could kiss him. And did I kiss him. I walk backwards until I'm up against the wall in my hallway and he is pressed up against me as our tongues weave in each other's mouths. I'm not sure if I'm upset or happy or jealous or what I'm feeling to be honest but I know I never want this kiss to end. He pulls back after a few minutes and picks me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and he carries me to my bedroom. He sits down on my bed while my legs are still wrapped around him so I'm basically sitting in his lap. "Your feelings mean a great deal to me, Ana. I never want you to feel differently. And I might make mistakes or there may be times that I'm inconsiderate but I hope you know what I feel for you, baby. That I love you. No one has ever meant to me what you mean to me."

I nod my head knowing that although Jane was the first person that showed him that there could be more out there, I am who he wanted _more_ with. _Jane may have opened his heart, but it was always meant for me._ "I trust you, Christian. Even when I got Liv's picture and her call… I wasn't going to run. Running without giving the other person a chance to explain doesn't solve anything. It really just contributes to the growing communication problem that the couple obviously has in the first place."

"Do you think that we have a communication problem?"

"No, I was speaking rhetorically. I think that you and I have very open lines of communication. We tell each other everything" I say with a smile.

"Well we did…"

"We still can. Just because we are more than just friends doesn't mean we can't talk"

"Well what should we talk about _now_?"

"Mmmm me going to California in the near future?"

"California? Why? When?" He fires off the questions and I can feel the anxiety coming off of him in waves.

"Just to visit my parents. It's been a while, and I want to visit them. It's also a perfect time to get away"

"Get away from what? Me?"

"No… I try to go visit my parents every couple of months and it's been longer than that" _And truth be told, I wouldn't mind a little bit of space to clear my head. I jumped into this relationship feet first and I can't see anything besides the overwhelming force that is Christian Grey. I can't see anything objectively and I can already feel myself repeating old habits and patterns. I know I can't punish him for my ex's wrongdoings or compare the relationships but I used to be the same with him as well. It was like I couldn't see things for what they really were. I was so blinded by what I thought was love that I had no idea that what I felt wasn't it. I had fabricated this ideal life and lover and he just wasn't as perfect as I made him out to be. Is it possible that this is the same thing?_ I see the sad look in his eye and I wonder if I should tell him to come with me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

My eyes flutter open slowly and it's safe to say I've never been this calm or comfortable. My head is resting on top of Christian's bare chest, my ear perfectly aligned with his heart so I hear every beat. My hand is resting across his abdomen and my right leg is threaded through his legs. I feel his arm around me protectively and I sigh. I tilt my chin up to stare at the perfect specimen lying under me and he stirs at my sudden movement. I wrestle out of his grasp to move myself up his body and place a kiss on the corner of his mouth. One kiss turns to many and soon I am smothering his face with kisses. Within a split second I am on my back and he's hovering over me with a sleepy grin spreading across his face.

"What are you doing?"

"Kissing you" I say before puckering them again. He captures my mouth in a hungry kiss that seems to go on forever. Not that I'm complaining I could go on kissing this man for the rest of eternity.

He pulls away finally but remains on top of me. "What a way to wake up"

"I thought about kissing another part of you but you had a vice grip around me"

He nuzzles his face against my cheek before placing a kiss on it and moving from on top of me to sit up. I pout at the loss of contact. "So about you going to see your parents…" he trails off and I interrupt him.

"Christian I'll only be gone for the weekend. I know you'll be miserable without me" I say dramatically. "But I'll be back before you know it. It's been a few months and I miss them" I say looking towards the window. _I do miss them, and they've been bugging me to come._

I feel his hand in mine. "I think you should go. I was just thinking I could come with you?" He eyes me as if he was nervous about asking.

"To Catalina Island?.. To meet my parents?" I ask my eyes wide.

He furrows his brow. "Is that a bad thing? I mean… you've met my parents?"

"Well that's different…" _No it's not, Ana._

"Is it? Do you think they won't like me?" He asks and I can see worry on his face and hear it in his voice.

"No! I say a little too loud. I move towards him and climb in his lap, feeling myself come alive as we are both naked and I feel his penis rub against me. "They'll love you" I hold his face in my hands and kiss his nose. "You should come" _What the hell happened to getting some space to clear your head, Ana?_

"If you don't want me to…"

"No I want you to come with me. My parents will be thrilled I'm bringing someone home" _I know my parents will love him. And then if we break up it's going to be "what ever happened to that nice lovely boy you brought home that one time."_ I feel my heart race at the idea of not being with Christian down the line. "They'll love you as much as I do"

He eyes me for a second. "Alright I'll have Andrea get the jet ready.. when do you want to go?"

My eyes almost pop out of my head. "You have… a… jet?"

He nods. "Well technically GEH has a jet"

"But.. you own GEH"

"Hmmm" he says tapping his chin. "I guess I do have a jet then" he says smugly as he moves out of my bed towards his phone. I take a moment to rake my eyes over his glorious naked body and I feel a familiar tingle _everywhere._ His back is to me and I don't think I've ever realized what a cute butt he has. _I just want to bite it._ I bite my bottom lip to prevent myself from making good on that action. I cock my head to the side, my mind completely focused on the sexy little dimple right above the curve of his ass. I am vaguely aware that he's talking to someone but I can't make out the words. _Jesus Christ Ana, throw him some dollar bills why don't ya._ He turns around and I am staring straight at his cock that is growing under my gaze. I run my tongue over my lips wetting them and I can't mistake the growl I hear come out of him. I feel a hand under my chin and I look up to see him staring down at me his eyes hooded with lust and desire.

"When did you want to go, baby?" He says with a devilish smirk having just caught me blatantly staring at his semi- erect dick.

My brain isn't really working but I manage to stammer out a response. "Uh.. this weekend too soon?"

"Andrea this weekend, make sure it's ready please" he says before hanging up the phone.

I blink my eyes a few times but it's obvious the synapses aren't all firing. _Of all the men I've ever been with he's truly the most manly. But at the same time, so well- groomed especially down south._ I mentally fan myself when I see him start walking away from me. "Wait… what?" I say as he's heading for the door.

"Well if you're done ogling my dick, I was saying we should get some breakfast" he says giving me a wink. I bolt after him and push him against the wall.

"I _wasn't_ done" I say getting on my knees and sheathing my mouth around him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

C POV

We are sitting on the jet waiting for take off as Ana furiously types away on her laptop. Her column is due to her editor by the end of the weekend and she knows she won't get much done while we are in California. One of the two attendants, Evie approaches us and narrows her eyes slightly at Ana. "Ma'am we are preparing for take off, you'll need to put that away until we are in the air."

"Sorry!" she says as she continues to type. "Just let me get this thought out. Two seconds" she says putting up two fingers.

I see the attendant huff before turning her attention to me. "Is there something I can get for you Mr. Grey?" I always thought she had a little thing for me. The way she would sashay by me, swinging her hips, or lean over a little too far when she was bringing me a drink but I obviously never gave into it. I just ignored it. But I wonder how this little 'try and flirt and fuck the boss' act will work with my feisty girlfriend here to stake her claim over me.

"You can bring us both some champagne. Thank you"

She flips her hair over her shoulder and smiles at me coyly. "Right away Mr. Grey"

Ana didn't look away from her laptop during the entire interaction but she chuckles. "She flipped her hair didn't she"

I begin to close her laptop while she continues to type letting out a whine as I almost have it completely closed. "You know blondes aren't my type" I growl in her ear.

She lets me close it and turns to me. "So if she was a brunette we'd have an issue?"

I pull her legs across my lap and pull her hands in mine. "You're cute when you're jealous"

She scoffs. "Hardly."

Right on cue to test Ana's patience, Evie comes around with our drinks and sets them in front of me. "You'll need to be upright for takeoff. For safety" she says referring to Ana's legs still draped across my lap.

She narrows her eyes at Evie before shrugging. "Okay if you insist" she drags her feet off of me letting her perfectly painted bare feet brush against my crotch before moving as close as she can get to me. It's not lost on me that she lays a hand on my thigh as she sips her champagne, daring Evie with her eyes to fuck with her. She's gone in a flash and I'm pulling Ana's champagne from her hand so I can attack her. I pull her underneath me on the couch and I raise her top slightly sliding my hands under her shirt. "What was that about you not being jealous?"

"She wants what's mine. I just did what you would have done. I think you're rubbing off on me" she says raising an eyebrow. I pull her into my arms before flinging her over my shoulder completely ignoring the fact that we aren't even in the air yet. I drag her into the back bedroom where I show her just how well I can rub off on her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A POV

We get to Long Beach, California and I take a deep breath smelling the ocean in the air. "Man it feels good to be here"

"You know" Christian says pulling me into his arms. "I read that you get to Catalina Island one of two ways"

"Ferry or helicopter, I know. We are taking the ferry"

"Or we could take the helicopter" he shrugs.

"That's if they have a pilot on call. A lot of people prefer the ferry because they're tourists and the sites are beautiful. And the others have their own helicopter staff. My parents do not" I giggle.

"Well… _I_ could fly us over there"

"Who could fly us over where?" I ask. I know my jaw has hit the ground by now but this man can fly a helicopter? _What!?_

"Me. I could fly us"

"You can… WAIT. How did I not know this?"

He shrugs and I'm still completely stunned. "I guess it never came up"

"That should be like TOP FIVE things you say! Hey I'm Christian and I can fly a fucking helicopter because that is badass! Oh my God you are so flying us over there, come on" I say pulling him towards the port. Within twenty minutes we are in a helicopter as Christian had all of his paperwork with him knowing he wanted to surprise me.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me you were going to do this!"

"I wanted to surprise you"

"I am very surprised" I say planting a kiss on his lips as he helps me into my seat. "You going to strap me in" I say seductively.

"Don't start. I am about to meet your parents. Behave yourself"

"Yes sir" I salute.

Fifteen minutes later and we are descending onto the landing area. _I can't believe Christian flew us from the mainland. Is there anything this man can't do?_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I know that it wasn't the best idea that I didn't tell my parents that I was bringing a guy home for them to meet. But I thought it would be a fun surprise? _Okay, that's a lie._ _Really I was wondering how they were going to take it and I really didn't want one hundred and five questions. My parents know that I am dating someone but that it's somewhat new. And while it's true that our relationship is new, we talk and behave like old lovers._

"You're not nervous, right?" I say as we are on my front porch.

He shakes his head. "A little bit. I know they're important to you, and I want them to accept me"

I rest my hand on his cheek. "They will baby." I stand on my toes as I am in flat sandals trying to reach his lips when he leans down to kiss me. I wrap my arms around his neck keeping his lips on mine when I feel his mouth open and I touch his tongue with mine. I completely forget where we are when I hear my front door open.

"Really Ana?" I pull apart and look at my mother wide eyed having been caught.

"Mom!" I say rushing into her arms.

"Don't mom me after you were out here necking on my porch, what is wrong with you?!" She chuckles before squeezing me tight and pulling me into the house. She hasn't exactly acknowledged Christian so I grab his hand pulling him behind me.

She turns around and eyes Christian. "Wasn't the kiss worthy of a sufficient tip? For heavens sakes" she pulls a twenty out of her dress pocket and hands it to Christian

"Wait what!" I say pushing her hand away. "Mom no this isn't my cab driver" I say with an eye roll. "This is Christian. My boyfriend"

"Ohhh, now see THAT makes more sense!"

"When have you known me to just make out with random guys?" I say putting my hands on my hips.

"I don't know, I thought maybe Livi convinced you to live a little. I don't know. Weren't you on those dating apps for a while. I know that is not for anything but the sex"

" _The_ sex? Really mom? Okay we are getting off topic. Christian this is my mother. Mom, this is my mother Carla"

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Steele"

"Oh honey, call me Carla. We are all friends here" she says hugging Christian as she moves towards the kitchen. "Your father said he would be back for your arrival, but you know how he gets when he gets out on the boat"

"He didn't even wait for me!" I say stamping my foot. "My dad has a great boat" I say turning to look at Christian.

She turns towards me ignoring my annoyance about my father going out on the boat when he knew his prodigal daughter was returning and eyes me. "I didn't know you were bringing someone, I didn't make up the guest room. This is where a heads up is nice"

I immediately start laughing and stop when I realize I am alone in thinking that Christian and I sleeping in different rooms is a joke. "You're kidding?... You're not kidding?"

"You want your father to know you're sharing a bed? He still thinks you're a virgin, honey"

"Um I _am_ still a virgin thank you very much" I shoot a fake glare at Christian who I can tell is trying not to laugh. "Christian and I can share my room, mom. Come on"

"Fine, you can run that by your father"

"Run what by me?" I hear as my father slides the glass door open and walking through the living room.

"Dad!" I say running to his arms and squeezing hard. "I missed you"

"I missed you too kiddo" he nods towards Christian. "This the new guy?"

I nod. "Yes, dad this is Christian. Christian this is my dad, Ray"

"Mr. Steele, it's great to meet you sir. Ana has told me a lot about you"

"Is that so? Well it's good to meet you, son. Now what are you all running by me?"

"We'll talk about it later" I say immediately panicked about how to bring that up to my father.

After a somewhat painful dinner, where my parents essentially grilled Christian for an hour, he decided to take a shower before I took him out to see some of the nightlife. _I've never seen them like that before and I'm definitely pissed over how they acted. They're always so laid back and easy going. They are the cool, fun parents. What the hell was this all about? The way they were rapid fire asking him questions even I started to sweat._

"What was that?" I ask going to the kitchen to find my parents opening a bottle of wine.

"What was what, hon?" my dad asks. I motion for them to follow me to the back patio in case Christian gets out of the shower.

"You know what! I've never seen you treat anyone like that!" I say putting my hands on my hips.

"We just wanted to get to know him, sweetheart. It's not everyday you bring someone home"

"Get to know him? You grilled him! And I rarely even come home! And this is a good reason not to if you're going to terrorize the man I love!"

They're both silent and I realize what I said that has rendered them speechless. My dad is the first to speak. "Pay up" he says looking at my mother.

"What?" I ask.

"I bet your mother that you were already 'in love' with him" he says using air quotes around "in love."

"What's with the sarcasm? I am in love" I say completely offended at my parents insinuations.

"Oh like you were in love with Andrew?" My mom interjects.

"Don't say his name to me, mother. We have agreed that he is 'thou who shalt not be named'"

"Whatever his name was you were so blindly in love with that asshole you would have followed him into the pits of hell. And I see allllll the same signs! I knew the second you walked through that door with him. You should see the way you look at him Ana, with damn near stars in your eyes!"

"And you don't think he looks at me the same?" I ask calmly. "God will you ever like anyone that I bring home?"

"Have better taste!" Ray says taking a sip of wine.

"Christian is amazing. Why don't you like him?"

"It's not that we don't like him. But a pretty boy like that? Probably has a harem of girls following him around. He's got money than sense too? Come on, Ana." he says raising an eyebrow at me.

"He loves me too, dad"

"Don't get me wrong, you are fun and lovable and kind and smart and beautiful and I know guys fall at your feet everyday. But this is the first guy in what a year that has turned your head and you're already in love? You're barely in like!"

"When you know, you know. I can't believe I have to tell _you_ this. You two made me _believe_ in love" I am trying my best to stay strong and not to cry but I feel myself crumbling. _These are my people. The people that love me most in the world. Are they seeing something I'm not?_

"I'm not saying I don't believe it can happen that way but Ana you are in love with the idea of love. Hell you write about it! You've made it your career! And I just worry that-" my father starts. "Honey?"

"We worry that you allow yourself to get so wrapped up in these things that you don't realize that what you're feeling isn't really love. Infatuation? Maybe. Lust? Sure. But love? You told me you guys were friends first and then you realized it was more. You still need to explore your relationship a bit more. There are things you don't know about each other. You've only known each other in friendship terms and then just like that" she snaps her fingers. "You're in love?"

 _It's as if they're putting all my insecurities out on the table and shining a bright light on them. As if I haven't thought about all of these things!_ I sigh. "We'll probably be out late. Don't wait up"

"Honey" my mother says pulling me into a hug. "You know we love you more than anything in the whole world and we are always on your side. We just don't want to see you get hurt again. Watching you go through your break up with A-" I glare at her and she corrects herself. "Thou who shalt not be named was difficult. You weren't eating, you weren't sleeping, there were days you couldn't get out of bed. And he never even treated you the way you deserved to be treated. You were so dependent on him that you didn't understand who you were outside of your relationship."

"But I know who I am now"

"And we want it to stay that way. We don't want you to lose yourself again" she says running her knuckles down my cheek.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

C POV

 _Ana has been quiet all night. We walked around for a while, before stopping into a few different bars for drinks and dessert. Of course the only dessert I want is Ana. She told me she would sneak into the guest room later but I don't know how far we should push it. And I am really wondering what is bothering her. Not that I think dinner went particularly well, but she's been closed off since then_. We are walking back towards her house when I pull her towards the beach. We pull off our shoes once we hit the sand and I pull her into my lap. "It's just you and me here. No one else…." I start. "Tell me what's wrong, Ana"

She shakes her head. "Nothing. I'm just tired that's all"

"You're shutting down on me, I can see it baby. Come on, talk to me. Remember open lines of communication"

"I don't… know" she says. "I- I want to get all my thoughts and feelings together and I don't have that yet"

I rub my jaw as I try and read what her eyes and body language are telling me but I can't. "You know you can tell me anything"

She nods. "Yes I know. My parents just pissed me off at dinner. They shouldn't have treated you like that"

"They're just protective. And they want to make sure I'm protective of you too." I smile. "They don't know I can give them a run for their money" I joke trying to get a smile out of her. She does but I can tell her heart isn't in it. "I love you" I say and she nods.

"I know. And I love you too" she gives me a short chaste kiss on my lips and I immediately crave more but I know she's vulnerable right now, I just don't know why.

I'm staring at the ceiling an hour later wonder when Ana is going to come in when I venture out to look for her. I know I am risking my life but I know something is wrong with my girl and I am determined to figure out what it is. I open the door to her room slightly and move through the dark room using my phone as a light. Once I reach her light on her nightstand I turn it on and I am startled by what I see. Ana on her side in a fetal position, her cheeks tear-stained. I climb in bed behind her, molding my body to hers as I spoon her and try to rouse her from sleep as I rub her cheek. "Ana wake up baby" I whisper in her ear before they flutter open.

"What-what time is it?"

"Why are you crying Ana?" I push her onto her back and move so I'm hovering on top of her. "Did I do something?"

"No!" She says in a loud whisper. "You didn't do anything"

"Why do I think… I mean… you're not breaking up with me are you?" I say my heart hammering in my chest hearing myself say the words. I thought Ana and I were in this for good once we got together but now I don't know if she's confused because she is certainly not the same Ana she was earlier today. Something changed and it's scaring the shit out of me.

She shakes her head. "No of course not. I love you"

"If you love me, you'd be honest with me"

"That's not fair"

"It's not?" I say moving off of her and sitting up on her bed. "You won't tell me how you're feeling when it's obvious you're upset, and _I_ am not being fair?"

She sits up the tears brimming in her eyes as she unloads everything her parents said earlier in the evening. About how what they said rattled her because while her parents disliked her ex Andrew, they weren't vocal about it and it was their biggest regret as they watched their daughter get deeper in this relationship she couldn't pull herself out of. She believes that now they are extra vigilant and are in a semi state of panic after meeting Christian. I don't blame her parents, I would probably be a little skeptical too. It has only been about a week since we officially got together. We got together, declared our love and then made love all within the span of a week. I can understand her parent's skepticism. "But you don't feel this way do you?" I ask needing to hear the words from her mouth.

"I know you won't hurt me"

"That wasn't what I asked" I say. _Come on baby, tell me you know this is the real thing._ "Don't run from me. Not because you're scared"

"I'm not running."

"Tell me then"

 _She looks away from me, trying to hold the tears in and I am not letting her get off that easy. I know she loves me, I know she believes what we have is real. She's just in her head too much and she's second guessing herself._ I pull my shirt off, throwing it on the floor and bring her hand to my chest. "Ana look at me"

Her eyes meet mine and then they move down to see where her hand is. She rubs her hand along my scars before she sits up on her elbows to run her lips along the same trail. "Touch me" she whispers. "Please"

She's wearing only my t-shirt and her underwear so I gently remove her underwear before entering her with two fingers. _I need to be inside of her but I don't know how much noise that will make and I really do value my life. And besides, this is about her. I know it's real, she's the one having reservations_. "Tell me" I whisper as I stroke her slowly spreading the moisture up and back as my fingers go in and out of her. My head drops to the crook of her neck and under the dim lighting of her room it's just her and I in that moment. "We're in this together, Anastasia. You know that we are meant to be together. Stop doubting us and this and me. You are mine, and I am never letting you go" I hear her whimper underneath me and I don't know if it's because she's close or because of my words so I pull my fingers out of her. I place a gentle kiss on her lips. "I love you, Ana. But I need you to trust me."

"I trust you, Christian. And I know this is real. This is all real... I'm sorry… I just… panicked and then I got confused. I love you and… I let the past come back to haunt me. Please don't hate me" she whispers.

"I don't hate you, baby. Not at all. I love you. I know you've been hurt, but you know I won't do that to you. I know your parents are worried and maybe they got in your head too. I'll work on showing them that I'm not going anywhere, but I need you to be on our side even when it seems like no one else is, okay? I need you in this with me too, Ana"

She nods her head. "I'm in this with you"

I rub my nose against hers and she sighs. "Good. Now get some rest"

"Will you hold me until I fall asleep?" I wrap my arms around her and let her fall into a peaceful sleep while the thoughts are racing a mile a minute in my head.


	9. All of Me, Loves All of You

CPOV

I'm awoken the next morning by a gasp and the first thing I see is a mass of hair, _everywhere_. In my eyes, in my nose, in my mouth. _Christ, Ana your hair is everywhere!_ I move it from my face and look down at the beautiful woman in my arms, her head resting on my chest. I smile down at her before gently moving her hair out of her face and behind her ear. I lean in to kiss her forehead when I hear a throat being cleared. I look up to see her parents staring at me, and I realize that they had been there the whole time, unbeknownst to me. I swallow and sit up slowly, grateful I'm on top of the covers and Ana is underneath her sheets. "Mr. Steele… Mrs. Steele" I say as I attempt to pull her arms off of me. But doing so only makes her hold onto me tighter. _You're killin me, Ana._ "Baby" I whisper into her hair. "Wake up Ana" I say and her eyes flutter open and I smile when I see her piercing blue eyes. _It's like nothing exists when Ana and I look at each other, not even her parents who are staring at us right now._

"Good morning, handsome" she leans in to kiss me when I back away slowly, causing her to frown.

"We are not alone" I whisper as I draw her attention towards the door.

She yelps and sits up in bed. "Jesus guys can't you knock?"

"I did... twice. And then I figured I would come in to wake you up" Carla says. "Your father walked by as I opened the door."

"And you didn't think to I don't know... close the door?" Ana shrugs.

"I told you, no shacking up with your boyfriend, Ana" Carla says crossing her arms.

"Shacking up? What does that even mean anyway? And since when did this become such a dry household anyway" she says. "But if you must know, we weren't 'shacking up'. We were talking and we fell asleep. Notice we are both clothed" she says looking back and forth between us.

 _This is true, we are both clothed, from the waist up. Ana doesn't have on pants or underwear for that matter so I hope she stays put._ I move to get off of her bed when she grabs my hand.  
"Do you mind?" She says looking at her parents.

Carla sighs. "Breakfast is ready, we'll see you downstairs" Carla disappears followed by Ray who gives me a dirty look on the way out.

"Your parents love me" I sigh as I rub my head.

"Whatever, I don't know why they're being like that. I mean they're not stupid, they know we're having sex."

"I thought you were a virgin thank you very much" I say throwing her words back at her that she had said to Carla just yesterday.

She rolls her eyes dramatically. "Riiiiight. Anyway, we will be having sex later"

My ears perk up at her words. "Really now?"

"Did you think we were going to be here an entire weekend and I wouldn't be touching your delicious cock? Get real, Grey." She says and the word "cock" coming from her lips sets my skin on fire. I smile at her and try to get off the bed when she stops me again, climbing on top of me to straddle me. "Hey"

"Hello" I say as I run my hands up her bare legs. I am hyper-aware that her bedroom door is still open and she's wearing a t-shirt that has raised up considerably with how she is sitting on top of me more than likely mooning anyone that would walk by her room. And the thrill of getting caught in this position makes me hard. I pull the back of her shirt down as much as I can before raising the front of it up a tad to see what I'm looking for. I lick my lips as her lower ones come into view causing Ana's breath to hitch. "Focus" she says and I drop the front of her shirt and look up at her. "I am sorry about yesterday" she says leaning forward and cupping my face before she brushes her lips across mine. "Being home just brought out a lot of emotions… and sometimes I get a little crazy when I start thinking about my ex." She bites her bottom lip. "But you are nothing like him. You are perfect, and I love you. I just need you to be a little patient with me"

"I've got all the time in the world for you, Ana" I say back to her. _Ana and I jumped into this relationship without totally exposing all of our baggage to each other and now we are unpacking our closets one by one. She didn't run from me over Elena, does she really think I'll leave her over a messy break up?_

"I know I come off carefree but... some things might freak me out… like last night, and I'm sorry you had to see that. It's not fair to you"

"Who else should see it? Ana, this is all new to me too. Love and intimacy and… a relationship. I'm just as confused and nervous about all of this as you are"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

After breakfast, Ana told me she wanted to go to the beach and while a relaxing day was just what we needed there were some things I wanted to take care of first. I brush my lips over hers as we stand on her patio. "You don't have to do this, Christian" she says and I nod my head.

"Yes I do, Ana. I want your parents to know how I feel about you. I want them to know that this isn't some silly fling. That this is real… between you and me."

She chews on her bottom lip before looking out to the beach and pulling her sunglasses down over her eyes. "Don't be too long okay?"

"Go find us a cabana, and I'll be right down." With a final peck to my lips she moves down the stairs and starts walking towards the beach. I turn around and move back into the house and run right into one half of my target.

"Oh! Christian, I thought you left to go to the beach?"

"I told Ana to go ahead. I wanted a moment of you and Mr. Steele's time"

"Oh… well Ray is about to go out on the boat and-"

"Frankly, _Carla_ , he can make the time." I say. They had no problem dumping all over Ana and our relationship yesterday, they're _going_ to hear what I have to say.

She narrows her eyes at me before calling for Ana's father and within a few minutes we are all sitting at their dining room table. "Something you want to say to us, son?" Ray asks. And I can hear the condescension in his voice and frankly it's pissing me off.

"Yeah, I do. I have some things to say about your doubts you expressed to Ana yesterday" I narrow my eyes before letting them widen slightly realizing that this isn't a merger and this isn't a hostile takeover. These are the parents of the woman I love and while I wasn't about to grovel and kiss their ass I needed to approach this lightly. "I had a really rough start in life. Without getting into the gritty details, I was adopted at a young age after living for four years in a dangerous, violent, abusive household. I didn't talk for years after I was adopted, not until my parents adopted my younger sister. I was an angry child, a rebel teenager, an even more aggressive adolescent. I had…" I clear my throat not wanting to disclose anything about my sexual predilections to Ana's parents, "hobbies that helped me channel my anger and that at the time helped me build GEH. Discipline and hard work allowed me to ignore the monsters under my bed. I saw a therapist that was helping me work through these issues but… all that did was numb the pain that I was in constantly, day in and day out. I wasn't enjoying my life. I was merely breathing to keep myself alive, but I wasn't _living_. And then… I meet your daughter and she's a breath of fresh air. She's fun, she doesn't take herself so seriously, she got me to loosen up, enjoy my life. She changed the way I see… everything. I didn't believe in love until I met her. I didn't think that… someone like me would be worthy of love. She inspires me, she makes me want to be a better man, a better person. My parents and my therapist would beat me over the head for saying this but I spent so long believing that I deserved what happened to me as a child. That I was this bad person… a bad kid. You know because bad things shouldn't happen to children right? And why would anyone be able to see past those demons? Don't get me wrong, my adoptive parents were wonderful to me, are wonderful… but I spent so long believing I didn't deserve them, deserve their love. Ana opened my eyes to more than just a relationship with her, but also with everyone around me. And this probably makes it sound like I'm using Ana because of how she makes me feel, because I get a glimpse of what normal people feel and I've been freed from this life of darkness…. But it's so much more than that. I need Ana to be happy, I need her to survive… She's the key to my happiness and I'm not letting her go. And I know that she loves me too, so you can either get on board with that and support us, or we can do this awkward tense dance every few months when _we_ come to visit. Because I am not going anywhere."

I want to look away from their intense gaze as they stare at me but I hold my ground. Carla is the first to speak. "Well I certainly like him better than Andrew" she says looking at Ray and I can't escape the upturn of my lips.

Ray starts. "We just worry about her, Christian. Surely you can understand that. We don't really know what she's doing in Seattle. Besides working. We know she has Livi and we love her but she isn't always the best influence… well they aren't the best influence on each other. They enable each other and sometimes it takes them on a downward spiral."

"I don't believe Ana is self-destructive at all. I think she makes mistakes and she may have worn her heart on her sleeve in the past but she's guarded now despite the fact that she writes about love. She's not giving 100% in every relationship like she may have before. She does with me because she knows that what we have is real. And you putting all of these doubts in her head is making her put up walls that I just have to break down again. We are both broken in different ways, but we found each other and I'll be damned if I'll let you or anyone talk her out of believing that I am good for her. That we are good for _each other._ Maybe you think I'm full of it, maybe you think that this will all blow up in our faces in a few months. Fine. Be skeptical. But there are things you can be sure of and that's I will never lay a hand on your daughter, I will always be honest with her and I certainly won't make her feel like she's not worthy of being loved like that asshole did to her. I won't break her. Maybe you aren't on our side, that's also fine. Just be on _her_ side"

I wait for what seems like an eternity for one of them to speak up when Ray is the first to break the silence. "I don't know anyone… maybe Olivia that would dare speak to us like that" he raises an eyebrow at me and I don't know if he's going to shake my hand or lunge across the table at me. I prepare for the ladder. "We may have misjudged you"

"May have?" Carla says smacking his shoulder. "Though it is rare, I can admit when I am wrong" she says and Ray rolls his eyes. "Rare" he mouths at me and I see Carla shoot him a glance. She continues, "the way you talk about Ana… it is… moving. And I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you as a child. Ana is undoubtedly the best thing that ever happened to us and it kills me that some don't feel the same about their children. I am glad that you feel that she is one of the best things to ever happen to you… we want that for her."

I nod as Ray continues. "Grey, it is… evident that you care very deeply for Ana and we apologize for not giving you a chance. We just want her to be happy… and it's obvious that you both make each other happy. We wanted to protect her… but the way we went about it was wrong. I don't know how much she has divulged about her last relationship but we just don't want her in that situation again. But we didn't even give you the chance to show us that you were nothing like him."

I nod, grateful that this went better than I could have imagined. "Thank you both. Thank you for trusting me with your daughter." I say standing up.

"You're a good man, Grey. Take care of my princess" Ray says squeezing my hand.

 _She might be your princess, but she's the queen of my heart. Jesus Grey, when did you become such a sap? Ana would never let you live that one down if you said that to her._ I feel Carla moving towards me and before I can react I stick my hand out putting it between us. I can't meet her gaze, as I know she's hurt by my obvious refusal of a hug when I feel a hand on my cheek. "You're a good kid, Christian." She winks at me before letting my hand and my face go. "Now go, someone needs to remind Ana to re-apply sunblock before she turns into a lobster"

I'm jogging down towards the beach and I see a few cabanas. I walk by a few and don't see Ana when I see one at the end of the beach secluded from the others. I get closer and smile when I see Ana lying on her stomach reading a book. Her feet are up behind her and she's swinging them back and forth. I wonder why she chose this cabana where we are so secluded from the other people but then I remember her comment about my "delicious cock" and a lightning bolt goes through me. I walk up to the cabana and she looks up at me with a smile. She sits up and my cock stirs as she's in the tiniest yellow bikini. _Thank God we are secluded. I can see almost everything._

"I was beginning to wonder if someone died" she jokes. "I see you… how are my parents?" she asks.

"Everyone is fine. All parties survived"

"What happened?" I recount my conversation with her parents, omitting nothing and when I'm finished her mouth is hanging open and there are tears in her eyes. "You… said all of that?"

"I don't care what your parents… or Liv… or anyone thinks. But I do care what _you_ think. And I know their opinion matters to you. Of course I want them to like me but if they don't" I shrug. "I'll live. But what I can't have is them filling your head with doubt."

She sinks those teeth into her bottom lip and I know it's not because she's turned on. "You make it sound like I'm easily… influenced"

"I don't think you are by just anyone. But your parents and Olivia… they're your people. And I know you listen to what they have to say, even if you don't agree with them. On some level you're hearing it, and it's resonating with you even subconsciously"

She sighs and leans back on her back and looks to the area next to me. "Care to join me?" I know she's trying to change the subject, and I let her because I am craving her more than my next breath.

"Turn over so I can reapply sunscreen to your back" She does so and moves her hair out of the way. I rub her down, drawing circles gently over her tattoo and although she can reach it herself I add more to the parts of her ass that are exposed. "I can't believe you're in this tiny little scrap of fabric that barely covers your pussy or your tits!"

"Why do you think I'm over here by myself?" She looks back at me and winks. I finish rubbing the lotion in and wipe my hands on the towel before running my hands between her legs. She's still on her stomach so I part her legs wider with my hands and rub my hand between them. She presses her face into the bed but I hear her muffled moan.

I move to straddle her, my knees on either side of her bottom and I lean into her ear. "Do you need me, Anastasia? Do you need me inside of you? Filling you?" I see her nod as she's still face down and I begin to place kisses on her shoulder blades. I can smell and taste the sunscreen and mixed with her natural smell and her coconut shampoo, I feel my resolve weakening. I wanted to tease her for wearing this tiny bikini, leave her wanting. But I know I will need her within the next five minutes easily. I get up on my knees to draw the semi sheer cream curtains around the sides of the cabana. There isn't a person for a good quarter of a mile down the beach but I want us as covered as possible. "Do you want me to fuck you here, Ana?"

She perks her head up and turns to look at me. She moves so she's on her back and moves her legs to be wrapped around my waist pulling me to her. "No"

"No?"

"Well yes… but I want you to make love to me first" she says running her hand down my naked chest and my heart begins to beat wildly at her touch. _I don't care what we do as long as I'm inside of her._

I smile at her as I lean down and place a kiss on both breasts through her bathing suit. I see her nipples begin to pucker through the thin fabric and I lean down to tease her even more. I nibble on her nipple through her fabric and I feel her raising her pelvis under me trying to make contact with me. "I want to rip this suit off of you with my goddamn teeth, Anastasia. There is _nothing_ to it"

"I thought you would like it" she whimpers

I press my mouth to the skin between her breasts and draw circles around it with my tongue tasting the sunscreen she applied there. But more importantly, tasting Ana. "I do like it. For _my_ eyes only"

"I didn't wear this walking down here, I had a cover up on. This _is_ for your eyes only"

I rub my mouth down her body, rubbing my lips over the words that mark her skin. "I thought about getting a tattoo"

"Oh really?" She breathes out as I continue to tongue her entire torso. She must not have applied as much sunblock here because all I taste is Ana's sweat and I want nothing more in this moment to bury myself inside of her. "Like what?"

"Your name"

"That's bad luck yaknow"

"Or maybe the day we get married"

Her eyes fly open and she looks down at me. I look back at her before going back down her body when she grabs my face. "What… what did you say?"

I smile at her. "Will you?"

"Will I… what?"

"Marry me"

"Are you asking?"

"It's preliminary asking. I'm asking so that when I do ask you officially I don't have to worry about you saying no"

She raises an eyebrow at me and I just know a smartass remark is coming. "Do you think I would say no?"

"Anastasia… now is not the time for your smart mouth" I say sternly and I mean it. _Don't torture me, woman._

"I think…" she starts. "That agreeing to marry you would be the best decision I ever make." She hesitates. "Well second.."

"What was the first?"

"Charming you into being my friend" she giggles and I smile recalling our first night.

"You think you were charming, do you?"

"I _am_ charming"

"I think your good looks helped your case as well" I tell her.

"Ah, so you DID think I was attractive the night we met"

"You didn't answer my question either." I say referring to the night where we asked each other that.

She successfully moves, pushing me onto my back in the process and straddles my hips, slowly rocking herself against my growing member. "I remember thinking that I had never seen such a good looking man. That you were unbelievably sexy and that no one as beautiful as you could ever be interesting" She kisses my cheek. "And then you spoke." She kisses my other cheek. "And you were… drunk. But you were funny and cute and you made me laugh"

"I'm not funny"

"You were cheeky." She nods and the night is still somewhat of a blur so I'll take her word for it. "And then you asked to come upstairs and I almost died inside. I wanted nothing more for you to take me upstairs and fuck me six ways to Sunday. But we were drunk and you were sad and… I don't think we would be here if I had let you upstairs"

"You don't think?"

"I don't know. Everything happens for a reason right? I think we had to be friends first to be here… We fell in love before we knew it and I think… I think that's what makes this so special" She grabs my hand placing it over her heart as she places her hand over mine. "We gave each other something we've never given anyone else. And I don't think a night of wild sex would have given us the same outcome"

I nod as best as I can, being on my back. "I think you may be right"

"We can always go back there and re-enact it and… end it differently"

I raise an eyebrow at her. "You want to role-play?"

She bites her bottom lip and moves back slightly to untie my shorts. "I want you" she whispers. And before I can think she's moved her bikini bottoms to the side and she is sinking ever so slowly onto me. She looks down at where we are conjoined, drawing my gaze there as well. _She takes every inch of me like a champ although I know I am way bigger than average or what she was accustomed to before I came along. She's so used to me now, I can usually slam right into her._

"We are so good together. You were made for me Ana" I say as I grip her hips trying to set the pace. She allows me and soon I am bucking up into her. She presses her hands on my chest as leverage and I let my hands go from her hips and bring them to rest over her hands. "Look at me Ana"

I meet her gaze and looking at her coupled with her hands on my chest has my orgasm approaching fast. "That's it, baby" she groans as she can tell I am close. "I am right there too"

She gasps as I explode inside of her and soon after she is leaned over kissing me with everything she has and I feel her quiver around me. I wrap my arms around her to keep her close to me as she recovers from her orgasm. We lie like that for a while, me still inside of her, her head on my chest the motion of the waves being the only noise we hear. She sits up after some time, successfully removing me from my favorite place and lays next to me. She's on her stomach again and she's propped up on her elbows.

"So what is it going to be like with Kate around? I mean do you think she'll bring Jane around ever?"

"I doubt it. And I would sincerely hope that Jane would know better"

She nods. "What does your brother see in her anyway? They seem… so different. And from what you've told me she's a demanding, nosey, bossy pain in the ass. Your brother is so cool. What's he doing with her?"

"I don't know? I don't know why my brother does anything. It's usually for good ass"

She nods in understanding. "I hear that"

I shoot a look at her and she grins at me before planting a kiss on my lips. "I'm just good ass, huh?" I ask her, shocked.

"Not just good… the best ass of my life. And I mean literally. Have _you_ seen your ass?" It's a work of art. I would gladly stare at it every day for the rest of my life" Ana says rubbing her hand over my ass as my dick has relaxed from its roaring orgasm and I've now turned over to be on my stomach as well.

"My dick or my ass?"

"What?"

"If you had to pick?"

"Oh that's just cruel!"

"You gotta pick"

"Uh, I'll take a shot instead" she giggles referring to our game. She stares out at the ocean for a while before turning back to me. "I don't want Kate to hate me if she's going to be around as well"

"Don't be such a girl"

She feigns anger before rolling her eyes as she knows exactly what I'm trying to say. _Fuck Kate, who gives a shit? But I know it's not that simple._ "I'll play nice in the sandbox if she does"

"She will, baby" I say kissing her temple. _She better. I already told Elliott to tell Kate to back the fuck off and put her claws away because I know for a fact Ana's are sharper and I don't really need to be mediating that._ "And if not, you know I've got your back" I say knocking my shoulder against hers.

"I know you do, Grey"

"And so does Hallie" I quip and she laughs.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

APOV

 _It's been four months since we left Catalina Island and I've never been more happy in my entire life. A month after we returned, I had successfully moved into Christian's penthouse. We were sleeping at each other's places every night and we thought it was time to take that step. And now I get to wake up every morning in my best friend's arms and fall asleep the same way. My column: "Confused in Love" has gotten even more explosive since I first mentioned the sexy copper haired CEO that I had fallen hard for and the second we were photographed together people lost their minds. My fans went crazy. My reviews, emails and number of followers per week went through the roof. Everyone wanted to know about Christian, how we met, how we fell in love, our favorite sex position. Oh yes, people were unashamedly curious about our sex life and we got some very graphic fan mail. Some which led to some very hot sex on my coffee table. Jane ended up moving to New York and the last I had heard from Kate about two months back, she was dating someone new. Good for her, she deserved to be happy. We all did. And then there was Kate and Elliott… I mean Christian did say that they probably wouldn't be together long and he was right. Although… it wasn't entirely on their own accord, they had been on the rocks and then one night, something pushed them over the edge. It seems Elliott fell under the Olivia Greene spell after we all went out to dinner one night about three months ago. And when I say he fell, I mean he FELL, HARD. In front of Kate. It was a trainwreck… but… c'est la vie right? I wasn't even trying to set them up by any means but some things just can't be helped._

 **Flashback** :

We sit down to dinner when Mia asks about the two empty chairs. "Ana who else is coming?"

"Oh my best friend Olivia and our other friend James. They're parking." _Kate had somewhat warmed up to me especially since Jane left the state and didn't necessarily see me as the "enemy" anymore._ "Oh there they are!" I wrap my arms around my best friend squeeze. "Hiii. Didn't I tell you not to be late?" I say pinching her arm gently.

"Sorrrrry traffic"

"So you couldn't figure out what to wear?" I ask knowing that _traffic_ is her bullshit excuse.

"Hair wouldn't curl" she says taking the seat next to me.

I roll my eyes before doing the introductions around the table and I narrow my eyes curiously when I see Elliott hasn't removed his eyes from my best friend since she got to the table. I chance a glance at Kate and see that she has also noticed. I widen my eyes before looking down when I hear a snort to my left. I grab the thigh of the source of the sound and I squeeze. "Behave" I whisper.

"Tell that to my brother" Christian says in my ear before he kisses it and trails kisses down my neck and shoulder.

"God you're like that literally all the time!?" Olivia jokes. "I thought it was just in front of me"

"No pretty much everyone" Mia interjects.

Everyone laughs and I still see that Elliott hasn't taken his eyes off of her and I want to throw something at him. _Is the man even breathing?_

"Is something on my face?" Olivia whispers to me referring to why Elliott is blatantly staring at her.

"No… I uh.. think he's into you" I say covering my mouth with my menu.

"Isn't the blonde girl, Kate? His girlfriend that hates you?"

"Well she was starting not to hate me! Although she's about to again if her boyfriend doesn't stop ogling my best friend!"

"Well it's not my fault!" she whispers back.

"Ladies…" Christian says moving behind my menu with us. "You alright back here?"

"Yes dad fiiiiiiine" Olivia says rolling her eyes.

I put my menu down and sigh with relief when I see Elliott has stopped staring at Olivia. The rest of the dinner seemed to go by fine, Kate barely said a word and Elliott's eyes were fixed on Olivia. I don't think he missed an entire word she said the entire dinner. He even managed to have a proper brain to mouth function and crack a few jokes making everyone- including Olivia laugh. But then Olivia got up to use the bathroom and within thirty- five seconds Elliott was on the move. I was shocked at the audacity of his actions and even I felt bad for Kate. We were all silent until Elliott came back a few minutes later and I was summoned to the bathroom where I was told about the kiss that rocked her world. Needless to say, _that_ was the end of Kate and Elliott and the beginning of Olivia and Elliott. I did run into Kate a few weeks back and she was dating some new guy as well. _Happy endings all around then?_

 **End Flashback**

But now here we are back to where it all began. Today is my birthday, and we had drinks at the bar where Christian and I first met and now we are at the karaoke bar that we went to that second night. I giggle at the fact that this time we really _are_ VIP. We have listened to a few songs when Christian turns to look at me. "I'm going to go"

"What!? Without me!?" I shriek. "Good one"

"I'm serious."

"You must be drunk"

He shakes his head at me. "I've never seen things more clearly in all my life"

I shake my head before pointing at the stage. "Well by all means"

I look up at the stage as I watch what used to be my shy, closed off friend tap the microphone a few times before looking at me. "This one is for you, baby"

I blush at the round of "awwww's" I hear and my heart skips a beat as I hear the very familiar John Legend song begin to play over the speakers.

 _What would I do without your smart mouth_

 _Drawing me in, and you kicking me out_

 _Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down_

 _What's going on in that beautiful mind_

 _I'm on your magical mystery ride_

 _And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright_

Christian knows how much I love John Legend and between one of his most romantic songs coupled with the fact that he's singing it to me, I feel the tears building immediately. _I can't believe he's doing this for me._

 _My head's under water_

 _But I'm breathing fine_

 _You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

 _'Cause all of me_

 _Loves all of you_

 _Love your curves and all your edges_

 _All your perfect imperfections_

 _Give your all to me_

 _I'll give my all to you_

 _You're my end and my beginning_

 _Even when I lose I'm winning_

 _'Cause I give you all, all of me_

 _And you give me all, all of you_

 _How many times do I have to tell you_

 _Even when you're crying you're beautiful too_

 _The world is beating you down, I'm around through every move_

 _You're my downfall, you're my muse_

 _My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues_

 _I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you_

 _My head's under water_

 _But I'm breathing fine_

 _You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

 _'Cause all of me_

 _Loves all of you_

 _Love your curves and all your edges_

 _All your perfect imperfections_

 _Give your all to me_

 _I'll give my all to you_

 _You're my end and my beginning_

 _Even when I lose I'm winning_

 _'Cause I give you all of me_

 _And you give me all, all of you_

 _Give me all of you_

He moves off the stage to where I am sitting and my eyes widen wondering what he's doing when I notice the lights dim. He stands in front of me and I wonder if he's nervous to be singing in front of people but it's not showing at all. He's sexy and confident and the passion for me is radiating off of him. I've never felt more loved and worshipped and adored than I do in this very moment and I know that his love for me will only grow as time goes on.

 _Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts_

 _Risking it all, though it's hard_

 _'Cause all of me_

 _Loves all of you_

 _Love your curves and all your edges_

 _All your perfect imperfections_

 _Give your all to me_

 _I'll give my all to you_

 _You're my end and my beginning_

 _Even when I lose I'm winning_

 _'Cause I give you all of me_

 _And you give me all of you_

 _I give you all, all of me_

 _And you give me all, all of you_

I can't escape the tears that have fallen out of my eyes and I'm fairly certain the gasp I make can be heard around the world when he falls to one knee in front of me. My eyes widen and I want to pinch myself to see if I'm dreaming. I've dreamt of this moment since he "pre asked" me on Catalina Island and nothing could have prepared me for this.

"Ana" he breathes out. "I had this whole speech planned and kneeling before you now… looking into those piercing blue eyes I can't remember the words. You are… everything good in this world, Ana. When I'm with you, everything's alright. It's been that way since the beginning. You make everything good… You make me so unbelievably happy. I always say this about you but you brought color to my black and white world and I never want to be without you. I love you more than anything, Anastasia Steele." He opens a ring box revealing a gorgeous solitaire diamond ring that is definitely at least five karats. "Will you marry me?"

"Oh my God" I whisper. "Yes" I say. "Of course I will marry you!" He stands pulling me into his arms before kissing me soundly. "I love you so much" I say in between kisses.

"I love you too Ana... thank you. For... everything" he whispers as his forehead leans against mine before sliding the ring onto my finger causing everyone in the club to cheer loudly as the lights begin to come on. I feel like the crowd has gotten bigger and louder and Christian presses a kiss to my lips before spinning me around to reveal _evvvveryone_ we love.

"Oh my God!" I giggle as Olivia is the first to bolt for me and holds me tightly.

"We're engaged!" She cheers

"We huh?" Christian says looking at Olivia.

"Oh like you didn't know we were a packaged deal" she says sticking her tongue out.

"El!" Christian shouts. "Come get your girl" he says pointing at Olivia.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 _The rest of the night is filled with more pictures, toasts and love than I could ever imagine. I never pictured that I could have this perfect life with this man I've fallen so deeply for. That I could love so hard and be loved in return. It was the fairytale I always dreamed of having. A true happily ever after._ I climb into our bed and into Christian's arms.

"I am so happy" I say as I nestle into his arms. I rub two fingers over his right pectoral like I do almost every night. The AS script making me feel closer to him each time. I couldn't believe when he told me he wanted to tattoo my initials on himself. _Well actually I could._ And then I got his initials a little under the right side of my clavicle.

"I am wired" he says as he moves to press a kiss over my tattoo.

"Want to play a game?" I say raising an eyebrow at him. We share a knowing look before we take off for the kitchen to grab the tequila.

 **A/N: Well there ya have it! (At least for now). The plan was to end this story once they got together so I extended it even a little bit longer! I got what I needed from this story and I HOPE you did too! :) But hey you guys have "bullied" me into one sequel, who's to say I won't be back again with them? But really one disgustingly happy engaged couple is about all I can do right now! I said this on FB but I really can't express how great it made me feel that you guys were so into this story. (Especially those of you that were skeptical at first). I've really gotten lucky to have such a supportive and encouraging group of followers/friends that love the craziness I write about. Thanks for being on this ride with me- on to the next!**

 **Xoxo**


	10. One Year Later

**A/N: What can I say, it was time to check in on these two.. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Ana**

 _ **One year later...**_

I can't escape the name that leaves my lips as my body continues to climb in attempts to chase my release.

 _It's so close I can almost taste it._

"Fuck, Christian." I moan, the distinct buzzing is the only sound to be heard in our bedroom. I thrust my hips, as if it's my fiancé's hard cock and not the pink vibrator that I've affectionately named Mr. Grey.

"Oh fuck." I moan as I feel myself on the edge ready to jump, my toes curl, and my left hand finds my breast that's covered by Christian's Harvard T-shirt.

 _Fuck, I'm so close. Come on, Christian, get me there._ I say in my head, as the fantasy of me riding my fiancé continues. I'm just about to find the release I've desperately needed the past three days when I hear his silky voice surrounding me. "Need a hand with that?"

My eyes fly open along with a loud yelp, as I hear the source of the voice standing in the entrance to our bedroom leaning cockily against the frame. His arms are crossed and he's sporting a smug grin as if to say "caught ya." _Fuck_.

I slide the vibrator out of me, my orgasm, long lost and stare at the man in front of me before I sit up. "Actually no… I don't."

"You know masterbating is against the rules."

I scoff hearing him say those words. "Says who?"

"Me."

"Oh? I dont remember shaking on that." I say crossing my legs allowing my shirt to ride up slowly and his eyes zero in between my legs. I lean back on my elbows, allowing him a better look. "See something you like?"

A look I know very well flashes through his eyes. "I know what you're doing." He says as he slides his hands into his pants pocket in what I believe to be an attempt to keep himself from touching me.

"What am I doing?" I ask, as my fingers move through my folds, stroking myself slowly. I don't miss the way his jaw ticks in response. I pick up the vibrator that's still coated in my juices. "Besides having some fun with Mr. Grey here." I say switching it on and off. "Since… you don't want to. A lady has… needs ya know."

"Oh believe me Miss Steele, I want to. But you know all you have to do is say the words. Say it, and I'll fuck you so hard and so deep, it will satisfy all your needs." He moves towards me my heart pounding harder with every step.

 _Stay away from me, Grey. It's hard enough sleeping next to you every night!_

I take a deep breath and hold it, not wanting to smell Christian's cologne, his scent, him. "Breathe baby, I won't bite." He whispers as he pulls my lip from between my teeth. "Unless you want me to." He smirks devilishly and I feel the goosebumps rising all over my skin. I fight the urge to wipe the look off his face. _No touching._

He takes a step closer to me and I back up further up the bed. "Stop it. You're cheating! We agreed no seducing!"

"Says the woman fucking herself with the vibrator she's named after me in plain sight."

"You're supposed to be at work." I say through gritted teeth as I feel his hand dancing on my thigh. The whole point of this bet was who would cave first. Sure, I knew I was dancing around breaking the rules by taking matters into my own hands but it had been three days since I had made love to my fiancé and I was… _desperate_.

"Is this what you've been doing the past three days while I've been at work? While I've been walking around permanently erect thinking about you?"

"Would you believe me if I told you I wasn't?"

"Nope." He chuckles.

 _I need to break him and I need to do it before tonight._ I take a deep breath and climb into his lap pressing my bare wet core against him as I wrap my legs around his back. "This bet is stupid. Let's just call it off. You need me, I need you. The end. Why are we doing this?"

"Because I believe my impossible fiancé made a joke about me in her column that I couldn't possibly go a week without having sex."

"You're taking what I wrote out of context!"

Christian and I were slated to get married in two days and I was reading this article about couples that choose to abstain from sex during the week leading up to their nuptials. In jest, I wrote that I could never do that based on how often my fiancé begs to fuck me. Not in those exact words, but essentially. As truthful as the statement was, said fiancé called me out on it on the grounds that I demanded sex just as often. And thus, our bet over who could last longer without sex came about.

 _Whoever caved first- lost._

My best friend Olivia couldn't get the point of the bet, as the winner didn't get anything except bragging rights. But what Olivia doesn't understand is Christian and my ongoing competition. Bragging rights were huge. We were both stubborn and hated losing. And I refused to lose this time.

"Possibly, but you know I never back down from a challenge Miss Steele. And you seem to think you can go longer without sex and yet it's you… with the vibrator covered in the evidence of your orgasm." He says.

I roll my eyes. "You know I didn't come."

"Shame. I can fix that you know." He says as he lifts my t-shirt slightly to gaze upon my slick folds.

I lick my lips and my teeth find my bottom lip to prevent myself from blurting out my forfeiture. I swallow and before I can blink I'm underneath him, squirming as I try and wrap my legs around him. He straddles me, putting a knee on either side of me keeping my legs together and I pout. "Christian, this is totally unfair."

"Consider us even for cheating."

"You and I both know that a vibrator isn't the same. It was not cheating! I was just taking the edge off."

"You think I don't need the same?"

"You're telling me you haven't jacked off?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you."

"Bullshit."

"I'm serious, Ana. The last hands around my dick were yours three days ago."

I groan, suddenly feeling guilty on top of the arousal still coursing through my veins. "Fine."

"I won't consider this a win for me since we didn't explicitly say that we couldn't. But to clear up the confusion," he says leaning down so that his lips are only a millimeter from mine. "Keep Mr. Grey out of you." He whispers before placing a kiss on my lips. He's off of me before I can deepen it and moving out of the room.

"Ugh!" I scoff as I cross my arms. "You are such a dick!" I scream after him.

 _I'm going to break that man if it's the last thing I do. This. Means. War._

* * *

I step out into the steam filled bathroom, my body dripping wet with the droplets from my solo shower as I put my plan into motion. I begin to towel dry my hair before putting tying my hair up in the terry cloth material. I peek my head out of the bathroom and hear just what I expected. Complete silence.

Christian has been avoiding our bedroom area like the plague whenever I'm in the shower because he doesn't trust himself- or me.

 _Silly men with no restraint._

I leave our bedroom and move through the penthouse looking for my fiancé knowing that he won't suspect what's coming as we usually have cameras covering every inch of the apartment with the exception of our bedroom and bathroom. Little does he know I had them turned off and there's no reason for Taylor, Sawyer or Gail to make an appearance. I hear him holed up in the guest room watching television probably worried that he'll get one whiff of my shower gel and instantly get hard.

 _Showtime._

I open the door and begin to move through the room as if I don't see him on the bed, staring at me. I wonder if I've rendered him speechless because he's not said one word to me. I grab what I strategically placed in the guest room bathroom so I'd have a reason to invade his Ana-free space. I exit the bathroom and walk right into a wall of muscle.

I slap my hand over my bare chest. "Oh, Christian. You scared the shit out of me." I look up into his stormy grey eyes and I think I should actually be afraid based on the look he's giving me.

"Anastasia Rose Steele, what the fuck do you think you're doing? You know we have fucking cameras."

"Turned them off." I murmur seductively, my bottom lip finding it's way between my teeth.

"And why is that?"

I shrug. "No reason." I smile and hold up my curling wand. "Needed this." I start walking away when I feel a hand wrapped around my wrist and pushed hard against a wall.

"Didn't we say no seductions, young lady?"

"I-I didn't know you were in here." I say innocently.

"So what reason do you have for walking around the penthouse, naked?"

I look around as if the answers could be found on the beige walls of the guest room. "Freedom of expression?" I say cheekily.

He looks me over from head to toe and raises an eyebrow and I gulp wondering if maybe my plan is about to completely backfire. "Is that so?"

"Yes, but I got what I came for so I can just-" I start to walk away but he stops me, putting an arm up boxing me in completely. A sly grin finds his face and he smiles.

"So you thought you could strut in here looking like sex on legs and I was going to be- unaffected?"

"I- I didn't know you were in here."

"Mhmm. Ana you're playing dirty."

"I'm not, I swear." I plead, hoping he'll have mercy on me but as I feel his hand dancing down my side I know that he's going to be far from merciful. I whimper as I feel his hand ghost across my thigh and find it's way between my legs. I try to push him away but it's no use, his fingers have made their way inside and I almost collapse feeling his touch for the first time in three days.

"Shhh." He says in my ear as he begins to move slowly in and out of me. "Just feel, baby. Feel me." I moan at his words, my hands digging into his biceps as I start to ride his fingers.

"This is… against the rules." I moan unconvincingly.

"Game is on pause, I need you baby." He groans and if I could shout my excitement from the rooftops I could. _Pause. Okay I can handle that._

"So… no one loses but we can still…" I trail off.

"We can still." He says and I can hear the smile in his voice. "Now give me your orgasm, Anastasia."

 _Fucking gladly._

I allow myself to give into the sensations as his fingers work me over, his thumb rubbing my clit as his two fingers move slowly in and out of me. My head rolls to the side as I feel his lips peppering kisses on my neck, his tongue tracing the skin behind my ear. "Christian."

"You're close, aren't you baby?"

"So close, fuck. It feels so good."

"Tell me how good." He bites down on my earlobe and I lurch forward as I try and push myself harder onto his hands, desperately seeking the relief that is seconds away.

My eyes flutter closed as I feel the familiar tingle and just as quick as it arrives, it's gone as his fingers slip out of me. I open my eyes to find him smiling down at me with a wicked gleam in his eye. "What are you doing?"

He backs up slowly before eyeing me up and down once. "I'm going to go take a shower."

"Wha-what?"

"We need to be at the _Mile High Club_ by eight."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I squeal as I feel my body winding tighter and tighter from two lost orgasms today.

He smirks at me before slipping into the bathroom and closing the door. I go to open it only to discover that it's been locked. "Christian Trevelyan Grey!" I stomp before I begin a round of aggressive knocks on the door. "Let me in right now!"

"Not a chance." I hear from the other side as the water starts running. I cross my arms across my chest and I think I have enough adrenaline pumping through my veins to break down this door at this point. I begin to stomp out of the room just in time to hear my infuriating fiance belting out Queen's "We are the Champions."

"Fucking asshole." I mumble as I leave the room.

* * *

"You know you should probably put on a smile, Princess. It is our rehearsal dinner." Christian chuckles from the other side of the backseat of our Audi Q5. As soon as we got in the car I made sure to put as much space as possible between us.

 _Don't touch me Christian I mean it._

Taylor is driving us, with Sawyer following closely in the car behind us. Sawyer was hired as my security detail soon after we moved in together. Something Christian and I fought about for weeks- really though, did I really need a security of my own? I lost that fight, quick.

"I'll smile." I grumble before showing him a forced grin.

"Much better." He winks before leaning in to kiss me. I back up immediately and narrow my eyes at him.

"Don't even try it, Grey."

"What? I can't kiss you now?" He furrows his brow sadly.

"I'm mad at you for earlier."

"Don't be a poor sport, Steele."

"You…" I start before chancing a glance at the driver in the front seat. "Well you know what you did." I whisper before I turn to the window with a pout. The sexual tension between us is at its boiling point and I can only hope that we don't explode all over our closest friends and family.

* * *

"What is with you?" I hear whispered in my ear from my maid of honor, Olivia Greene. I snap my eyes to her in response before looking towards the room full of people here to celebrate my upcoming marriage.

Nobody has paid me a second look since the crab cakes were served and now everyone is deeply engrossed in their various table conversations. The wedding party sat at the front of the room, Christian and I side by side. Olivia on my right, Elliott on Christians left, followed by the rest of the wedding party including a rambunctious Hallie who hasn't been able to keep still since we got here.

The private room of the _Mile High Club_ was big enough to hold all of the people invited to our private rehearsal dinner which consisted of about 50 people. I don't think any of them can sense the ongoing tension between my fiancé and I but something's just can't be hidden from your person.

Mine was currently staring at me, her brown eyes inquisitive and slightly judgmental. "It's your rehearsal dinner, Ana. Why do you look like you're not having any fun?"

"Christian won't fuck me." I blurt out quietly and I'm pleased that Mia who is seated on the other side of Liv is none the wiser to my crass statement.

"Oh for the love of God, you guys are STILL doing that?"

"Why won't he cave!" I whisper. "I'm losing my touch."

"No you're losing IT! As in your mind, Ana. That man is obsessed with you!"

"Then why won't he give in!"

"Because beating you is sweet victory." She grins. "You're a sore loser but an even worse winner. And as your luck would have it, you've met your match in terms of someone equally competitive."

I roll my eyes. "I walked around the apartment- naked earlier. I channeled my inner Jennifer Aniston from _The Break Up_ and everything. Fresh out the shower, hair still in a towel, the works. And he hasn't seen me naked since I got waxed. And… nothing. He didn't even notice!"

"I'm sure he noticed."

"I never should have agreed to this bet. Jesus Christ, Liv. I might push him to the ground and have my way with him the second we say "I do" tomorrow."

"I'll have my phone on me in case you're trying to leak a sex tape." She responds before taking a large gulp of her champagne. Her eyes scan the room looking for one of the waiters before pointing to her glass and giving him a thumbs up when he begins heading over to refill her glass.

I turn my head to my fiancé to see him deep in conversation with his brother but the dull roar in the room keeps me from hearing exactly what they're saying.

* * *

 **Christian**

 _ **Meanwhile:**_

"You look like shit, aren't you supposed to be getting married tomorrow?" My brother whispers from next to me.

"I look fine, thank you." I say as I look down at the black suit I'm wearing. The one I wear when I want Anastasia's full attention. A black suit with a crisp white shirt always seems to turn my fiancé to a horny mess and yet, she's given me nothing more than a "you look nice" as her eyes roamed my body for no more than a second.

"You've got a vice grip on your drink." He tells me as I look down at the glass of gin and tonic that I'm gripping in my right hand in an effort to keep them off of Anastasia's silky soft skin. I almost died when I saw her strut through the guest room earlier. Her perfect body on display for me. She looked like a buffet and I was the starving man that couldn't indulge.

 _I'm going crazy. Why can't I break her?_

I knew I was playing with fire the second my hand found the river between her thighs. I could smell her arousal as I glided through her folds and what she doesn't know is the second that I locked myself in the bathroom, I thoroughly sucked her juices from my fingers.

 _Big mistake._

I've been feigning for the taste of her pussy every since. But I know if I start, I'll never stop. I peek over at my impossible fiancée to see her hands fidgeting in her lap. This is the longest we've gone without some sort of contact and I'm officially over it. I reach out to stroke the skin on her arm and she visibly shivers at my touch. She looks at me shyly and I smile before leaning my face to rest my forehead against hers.

I let my eyes close, relishing in the feeling of touching her, even in this innocent way. "Baby," I whisper and her whimper in response is all it takes for me to know that she's just as affected as I am. "I miss you." I say those three words that I know she wouldn't be able to resist.

She gasps, and I know she's about to respond when I hear the faint sounds of people clinking their silverware against their glasses indicating that they want us to kiss.

 _With pleasure._

I cup her cheeks gently, as I stare deep into her eyes and she sighs quietly as my lips brush against hers once. "So beautiful." I moan against her lips before I press mine to hers. I push my tongue through her lips and she meets me with equal eagerness. She moans into my mouth and the sound is a direct line to my dick which springs to life.

After what feels like a split second, but my guess is much longer, I hear Elliott clear his throat and mumble. "Okay, take it down a notch, bro." He chuckles and I pull away from the woman I haven't kissed like that in days.

When we pull apart she's breathless and her eyes are still slightly closed staring at me through hooded slits. I turn my attention to the crowd and see most of them have gone back to their food and their table mates, but some are still staring at us goofily knowing they're in the presence of something special. I give a sheepish grin over having gotten carried away before turning back to Ana.

She bites her lip and my eyes immediately flit to the sudden movement. "Sorry." She says, as a twinge of pink finds her cheeks. "I wasn't trying…"

"I know." I tell her pulling her hands to my face and kissing her fingertips. "And we can't even be alone tonight." I close my eyes taking in every note of her scent.

She shakes her head as I can tell she's fighting the emotion out of her eyes. "I wish we weren't so stubborn." She says sadly but a short chuckle follows.

I drape my right arm around her chair and slowly begin to stroke her shoulder. Her left hand finds my thigh and she grips it hard. I growl quietly in response to feeling her tiny hand so close to my cock. I'm still slightly hard from all of our teasing and this certainly isn't helping. I feel her hand move up slightly and graze my cock and I fight the urge to throw my fiancé on top of the table and fuck her relentlessly. The only thing stopping me would be Ray Steele sitting one table away.

"You're playing with fire, sweetheart." I groan in her ear as I feel her hand squeeze my dick. "God dammit, Anastasia." I groan. "Get up." Her eyes widen slightly as she looks up at me. I'm standing and holding my hand out for her to take.

"Oh here they go." Elliott snorts.

"Shut up, Elliott." I mumble under my breath, though loud enough for him to hear it. I pull her to her feet, giving her a wicked smile. I don't pay a second glance to anyone that may have their eyes on us as I proceed to pull my fiancee out of the room.

We are barely out of the room before I have her pushed against the wall of a dimly lit hallway. My lips find hers instantly as I'm desperate to taste her lips again. I'm biting, licking, sucking and I can only hope that her lips won't be too swollen tomorrow. I lick my way into her mouth, desperately seeking hers and I'm pleased to find that she is kissing me back with equal enthusiasm. "Ana, I need you baby." Her hands find their way into my hair and she pulls hard at the roots. I groan in response.

"I need you too." She whimpers.

"No more games." I whisper against her lips, my tongue darting out to trace her pouty lips.

"No more," she agrees.

Her rehearsal dinner dress is short, yet conservative, but allows me to reach under her dress easily to find her delectable butt cheeks. I squeeze one before moving my hand forward and rubbing my hands against her pussy. "I'm sorry for earlier." I whisper. "I should have let you come."

"Yes you should have." She narrows her eyes at me and yet I can still see the humor behind them.

"Can I make you come now?"

She nods her head before she wraps her arms around me and presses her face into my neck. It's as if she's trying her hardest to get as close to me as possible. I pick her up, allowing her legs to wrap around me as I still have her pinned to the wall without a care in the world that someone could easily walk out and catch us like this. Me, grinding against my fiancées pussy as my hand gropes her breast with my lips on her neck.

"Make me come." She moans out as I continue to thrust my covered cock over her barely covered pussy. I slide my fingers against her slit that is covered by a thin piece of silk drenched in her arousal. If we were anywhere but here, I would have dropped to my knees and sucked her dry by now.

She pulls my face out of her neck. "Not here… We should go somewhere slightly more _private._ "

I nod, having lost all ability to speak after feeling her wet folds. "Let's go." I growl setting her to her feet. We've taken two steps when I hear my sister, forever the cockblocker.

"There you are!" She says, the cheeriness in her voice sounding like nails on the chalkboard due to how tense I am.

"What, Mia?" I say through gritted teeth.

She frowns not understanding why I could possibly have an attitude with her, as her face falls slightly.

"Christian," Ana admonishes. "What's up, Mia?"

"Sorry Mia, what's up buttercup?" I ask her, using the nickname I've used for her hundreds of times.

She smiles before rolling her eyes, the sadness having completely disappeared from her eyes. "They want to do toasts."

" _Now?"_ Christian asks and I notice Ana rocking back and forth between her right and left leg. _She's antsy. And wet._

"Yeah?" She says looking down at the vintage Rolex watch with the bright pink face that she never takes off. "We are supposed to be out of here by 10. The bride needs her beauty sleep."

I look at the woman who will be officially mine in just under twenty-four hours. "She's already beautiful. Insanely."

Ana blushes and presses herself into my arms and wraps hers around me. "I love you." She murmurs quietly, I don't think she intended for Mia to hear it but the goofy look on her face tells me she did.

"You guys are so cute, I can't stand it." Mia bounces. "But yes toasts now. And although she's insanely beautiful she still doesn't want bags under her eyes and we have to be up early for hair and makeup. So let's move it you two. You have two weeks ahead of you where you can do all of…" she points at the wall behind us where we were just aggressively making out. " _That."_

Ana and I are spending three weeks in Bora Bora where I intended to do exactly _that_. The resort was unbelievably gorgeous complete with our own secluded area of the ocean. Ocean waters I planned to fuck my wife in consistently.

It's funny, Ana and I plan to be in Bora Bora for 14 days and yet we were only bringing enough clothes for a week. _Happy honeymoon to us indeed_. I told Ana that I wanted her naked whenever we were in our villa and she demanded the same of me. _So what did we need clothes for?_

 _We were definitely leaving Bora Bora with a souvenir- in Ana's belly._

Ana pouts when Mia turns around and heads back in and I look at the cute expression on her face. "I'm sorry, baby." I whisper and she sighs before running a hand through her hair.

"I'm going to use the bathroom, I feel a mess and I probably look that way too."

"You look gorgeous. Unbelievably perfect."

"Well I need to… clean up." She says referring to the mess we've both made in her panties, before turning to head for the bathroom. I go to follow her when she spins and faces me. "No you go, they'll assume we are… well what we started if we are both gone too much longer."

"Do you think I give a fuck?"

"Christian," she whines. "My father is out there, so yes I certainly believe that you give a fuck."

* * *

The sound and feeling of vibrations rouse me from my sleep and I know it must be unGodly early. I set my alarm for eight am with a hotel wakeup call of eight thirty and _neither_ had happen. I can already feel the irritation rising at the idea of my sister or mother calling me to nag me about something insignificant when I see the familiar face flash across my screen. I'm immediately awake and sitting straight up as I realize who it is that's calling.

"My beautiful bride." I smile into the phone, suddenly wide awake despite having been deep asleep just seconds ago. I look to the bedside table towards the clock to see six thirty. "Why so early?"

I hear a sniffle and immediately I feel my instincts kick in. _What's wrong? Where is she? What room is she in?_ Everyone has kept what room- and what floor my future wife is on under wraps because they knew I would try and find her if I knew. _Like now._ She's crying and I'm not there. She _needs_ me. "Baby, what's wrong?"

She sniffles again before I hear an exhausted sigh leave her lips. "Have you looked outside?"

"What?" I say flinging myself out of bed.

"Look outside."

I jog across the master suite to the window and my eyes widen as I take in the downpour happening outside. _Fuck_ , I mouth, not wanting to upset Ana even further.

"It wasn't supposed to rain… I've been stalking the forecast for days!"

I blanch hearing her frantic tone. "Baby, this is why we have a rain plan. I know this sucks but-"

"But what!?" She screeches so loudly I can't help but wince and pull the phone away from my ear slightly. "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" _I am._ Members of the hotel are scrambling to pull the remainder of the chairs off of the lawn. The podium where Ana and I were going to stand is still there and the flowers have completely wilted due to the heaviness of the rain. The majority of the flowers have been moved at this point but I can certainly see what Ana is seeing. _A nightmare._

"Where are you?" I murmur, knowing that I can make her feel better in person rather than over the phone.

"In my room…" she trails off probably knowing where I'm going. "Christian you can't."

"Why? My girl needs me and I miss her. I was lonely without you last night."

"Me too. Olivia tossed and turned all night. And no one spooned me." I can hear the pout in her voice and I'm glad that she missed me as much as I missed her.

"I'm sorry, you should have come and slept here." I suggest and the thoughts of what we could have done last night does nothing for my dick aching in my shorts.

She sighs and I can hear her frustration in just that brief second. "I don't believe that bullshit about it being good luck either. Rain is never good luck."

"I know baby, this does suck. But… can we look at the bright side?"

"Which is?"

"Well… we'll be married by the end of the day?" I say, and her silence tells me that she feels bad for not realizing that that was where I was going with it. My dick twitches at my words and I try not to think about all of the wicked things I want to do to my wife by night's end.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" she starts. "Of course I'm excited for that. It's all I've wanted for- so long."

A smile crosses my face hearing her excitement over becoming my wife. "Are you sure you don't want me to come over?"

"No… hair and makeup will be here soon and Mia is already up and fussing over me."

"Will you let me know if you change your mind?" My morning wood throbs again at the thought of storming through this hotel in search of Ana and impaling her on my dick once I find her.

She chuckles, knowing that there's no way that anyone would let me see Ana before she walks down the aisle. "Yes."

"Hey" I tell her before we hang up. "I know that this sucks, baby. And I know you've been planning this for months and you want everything to be perfect. But everything _will_ be perfect because it's you and me… getting married. We're starting our forever together, baby."

"Our forever." She repeats before I hear a sniffle.

"Don't cry sweetheart, or else I will find you and no one will be able to stop me."

* * *

It's thirty minutes before Ana and I are supposed to tie the knot and I can feel the excitement flowing through me. I've done multiple pictures with my groomsmen, my parents and Hallie and now all that's missing is all of the pictures I'm supposed to take with my wife. _Wife_. The thought does nothing for the constant erection I've had for days and I attempt to adjust myself discreetly as I walk down the hall of the ninth floor. My mother had left her wrap in the bridal suite and since I knew Ana was being kept hidden away downstairs, I didn't have to worry about running into her. I knock on the door just in case and when I don't hear anything I push the door open. I see my mother's wrap sitting on the table and only once I grab it do I hear a gasp from the adjacent bedroom.

I look up and my mouth drops open, my eyes widen, and I'm suddenly very aware of the lack of oxygen getting into my lungs. I try my hardest to take a deep breath as I stare at the vision before me. I'd heard about grooms that cried the first time that they saw their bride, but I never imagined I would fall into that category. I never thought that I, Christian Grey, would be fighting the tears building in my eyes as I stare at my future wife for the first time. I see her mouth moving, assumedly telling me that it's bad luck for me to see her, but it's all white noise. I ignore Mia as she tries to shoo me out of the door. All I can focus on is the goddess standing in front of me in _that_ white dress. My eyes find hers and I know she's trying her hardest not to cry. But she must be paralyzed in the same way I am because she makes no attempt to move or hide herself from me as I cross the room.

"Mia give us a minute."

"No way, Christian it's already-"

"MIA." I growl without taking my eyes off of my soon to be wife. "Get. Lost." I growl at her as I close the space between Ana and me. "Give this to mom." I say handing Mia the wrap. The dam has burst at this point and the tears have started to move down Ana's face. I'm vaguely aware of a door closing behind me as my eyes move from head to toe and then back up again. "Wow." I feel something move down my face and I know without a doubt that it's a tear. "You are so beautiful." I tell her, unable to even put into words how in awe I am in this moment. "I thought you were downstairs already?"

"I forgot my garter." She says softly. "And I had to go." She nods towards the bathroom. She reaches out slowly and her delicate fingertips trace my face before wiping the tear away. "It's bad luck to see me."

"It's not." I tell her, completely rejecting all of the superstitions that a groom shouldn't see the bride before it's time for her to walk down the aisle. She was adamant about not having a "first look" so I'm sure she's less than pleased with this accidental situation.

"Christian…" she whimpers as I wrap my arms around her not in a sexual way but because the need to touch her is so great. I drag my hands up her body to find her face and I know the tears in her eyes mirror mine.

"I get to marry you today." I tell her. "There's nothing about this that could possibly be bad luck." I shake my head as my lips find hers. Her makeup is done, and despite the tears, I don't see anything running. However, I know the pink lip stain that coats her lips is about to be all over mine. The thought escapes me as we kiss that I haven't made love to my wife in four days but the second she moans, I remember. _Well, my dick remembers._ I pull away from her slightly, pressing my forehead to hers. We stand like this for I don't know how long, silent, breathing in each others air when I begin to draw circles on Ana's open back. "I love you."

"I love you." She tells me before she opens her eyes to reveal glossy blue orbs that hypnotize me. "You are the best part about today." She smiles. "The rain, Hallie ripping her flower girl dress, the band possibly not being able to make it due to the rain…" she sighs. "I swear it's like everything that could go wrong has…" she trails off.

"The band is here." I reassure her. I finally had to tell all of the bridal party including our parents that no one was to tell Ana any more bad news. Everything had to go through me, Ana was on a need-to-know basis. _I could sense her tension through every text message we exchanged. She had been beyond stressed and was not enjoying the day so far at all._

"But knowing that this was all leading up to seeing you… and marrying you… it made the day a bit more bearable." She wraps her arms around my neck and presses her lips to the space behind my ear. "I didn't realize how badly I needed to see you until now."

"I've longed for this since the moment you got in the car last night at the club." I felt my heart sink the second the door closed as Sawyer drove away with my heart and most of the bridal party and I had to fight every urge to demand Taylor to go after them. As soon as we got back to the hotel, the anxiousness set in. Elliott and my cousin Mark had to all but fight me to keep me in my room and away from the bridal suite. Ana and I hadn't slept apart in months. With Ana being a freelance writer, it allowed her to travel with me whenever I went out of town on business which meant I never had to spend a night without her in my arms.

 _So, last night was hell._

"So I take it by your reaction that you like the dress?" She asks quietly and I nod as she does a twirl. My eyes almost pop out of my skull as I see how low the back goes. I stop her in place, with her back to me.

"This back is… very low." I lean down, rubbing my lips over the tattoo of the three birds. "God you are beautiful." I repeat as I begin to pepper kisses down her back. She shivers at my kisses and when I get to the spot on her back just before the curve her ass I lick the skin there. "How easy is it for you to get out of this?" I ask her.

She looks at me over her shoulder and shakes her head. "No, Christian."

"Yes, Anastasia." I stand up, pressing my erection into her bare back and nibble on her ear gently. I pluck at the thin strap of her dress that sits on her shoulders before I gently slide them down. The dress is painted to her, the silhouette very form fitting but it glides down her body easily leaving her topless with the tiniest flesh colored thong on that I can barely see and a white garter belt around her left thigh. I move around her to stand in front of her and help her out of her dress, leaving it in a heap on the floor. I hang it up quickly and when I turn around, I see that Ana has already sent her underwear down her legs and she's standing against a desk in the suite completely naked with the exception of her shoes. White pumps that I heard her say were the _perfect wedding shoes_ because "Carrie Bradshaw said so."

"We have to make this quick." She says as she reaches for the lapels of my jacket and yanks me closer to her. "I can't believe we are doing this." She snorts.

"You can't?"

"We have a reception full of people waiting for us. I am supposed to walk at three!"

"And?" Suddenly very unaware of what time it actually is. _Noon, three, midnight? My future wife is standing in front of me naked, I'm fairly certain I couldn't recite the alphabet right now._

"It's two forty."

"They'll be alright." I say as I rub my lips over the CG tattoo on her right clavicle.

"They'll probably think one of us is a runaway."

"They'll probably think we're fucking." I tell her. "Most of the people here have _met_ us." I trace the C followed by the G as I've done a million times since she got the permanent ink.

"So who won the bet?"

"Call it a stalemate?" I shrug.

"Technically you did undress me…"

"Fine, Ana. You win this one." I roll my eyes, realizing I care less about this bet and more about getting inside my fiancee before any number of people come to interrupt us. _It was only a matter of time._

She smiles a bright smile. "Well you sir, are a very gracious loser. And to show you that I am an equally gracious _winner..._ " she starts as a smirk spreads across her face.

 _I know that she's never going to let this go, but as she lowers herself to the ground in front of me I realize that I could not give less of a fuck._

"So you admit it…" Ana grins at me from between my legs, my pants unbuckled and my completely erect cock a millimeter away from her perfect pink lips. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips and my cock jumps in response, the precum already forming at the head.

"Admit what?" She pulls away slightly, narrowing her eyes at me and I relent. "Fine you can go longer without sex." I roll my eyes knowing that I will never live this down.

She shoots her fist up in the air. "Yes!" She giggles and before I can respond to her "gracious" cheer I feel her lips around my dick. She's sucking for approximately five seconds before I've hauled her petite body to her feet and placed her on the desk. I won't last much longer with her sucking me the way she does and I want to come inside of her.

"Spread them." I growl. "I can't eat your pussy the way I want to right now, but I just need a taste to get me through the day." I tell her. "Do. Not. Come." She bites her bottom lip and reluctantly nods.

"Don't be down there too long then. I haven't come in days and you riled me up _twice_ yesterday."

I chuckle at her as I move to my knees, putting her legs over my shoulders. I take one long slow lick up through her folds and the moan that leaves my fiancee is almost animalistic. I feel her hands in my hair pulling hard as if she wants me to stop and I look up at her.

"Okay that's enough." She says through gritted teeth. I raise an eyebrow at her questioningly. "You told me not to come!"

"And?" I ask her, knowing based on the quiver I felt around my tongue, she was close.

"Well I'm already there." She says and the look in her eyes, the change in her breathing and the pink in her cheeks tells me that this was correct. _She was about to explode._

I stand up and guide my cock towards it's home, tapping it against her clit once, twice, three times. She twitches every time and I feel her legs wrap around me, the heels digging into my ass as she pushes me inside of her. I place one hand on the desk beside her, and one at the small of her back to leverage myself as I begin to push in and out of her, _hard._ She throws one arm around my neck and a hand behind her to balance herself as her lips find mine in a passionate kiss as I continue to glide in and out of her. I know she's trying not to come to prolong our reunion but I need her to come, like _yesterday._

"Baby, give it to me. I need it." I groan against her slightly swollen lips.

She whimpers and pulls away from me and presses her face to my neck before biting down on the skin as her orgasm rips through her. She pulls away from the area that I know now have indents of her teeth as my name leaves her lips in a borderline scream. Her eyes flutter open, revealing her gorgeous blue eyes and I lose it. I explode inside of her with a roar not giving a fuck that I hear knocking on the door.

* * *

I pull her dress up and back over her shoulders before I place a kiss on her neck. "I can't believe we had sex." She giggles as she runs a hand through her hair. Her hair was down in loose waves with the exception of a braid on one side secured at the back of her head. Hair that I knew better than to touch while we were having sex. She looks in the mirror and then back at me and I can hear her silent question.

"You look perfect. Nothing moved."

"Are you sure?" She asks narrowing her eyes at me and I nod.

"Swear." I look across the room towards the mini bar and shoot her a look. "Shot of tequila for the road?"

Her eyes follow mine towards the familiar bottle and then she shoots me a wicked smirk. "You're a man after my own heart, Grey."

I pour us two shots and no sooner do we clink the shots together does Olivia Greene enter the room in a hurry.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Olivia squeals. "You were supposed to walk ten minutes ago, Anastasia Rose."

"So we are a little behind schedule, so what!?" She says after she takes hers.

"So what!? People are waiting and you're in here fucking and taking shots?"

"You just named two of my favorite things, I'm failing to see the problem, Liv." Ana rolls her eyes as she wraps her arms around me. I do the same and I raise an eyebrow at Liv.

"She's calling the shots here, I was just along for the ride. Don't blame me."

"Oh I know Little Miss Horndog couldn't keep it in her pants for another few hours. I should have just let her come to find you last night like she all but begged me."

I turn to look at the woman in my arms just as she freezes. "Oh? Is that so? What were you coming to see me for last night, Miss Steele?"

"I… wanted to talk…" she says quietly, knowing that she's just been ratted out by her best friend.

"If by talk, it means she wanted to ride you till the sun came up, then sure she wanted to talk." Liv says as she pours herself a shot. "Her words." She points at Ana and I can see the murderous look she shoots her best friend.

"LIV SHUT UP!"

"What? Didn't you already lose the bet?" She asks as she downs the shot and chases it with a glass of champagne.

"NO!"

"Oh, I call foul!" I tell her.

"You already forfeited, Grey. You said I won."

"I take it back."

She narrows her eyes at me. "Don't make me hurt you."

I raise my hands in defeat. _But this is far from over, Steele._ "You're right, you win." _For now._

"Okay you guys can do this back and forth another time, alright? Like when your father isn't outside waiting to walk you down the aisle."

Ana smacks her forehead. "What does he think?" She whispers.

"That you needed to be fucked before you completely lost your mind."

"You told him that!?"

"Of course not, I wouldn't use the word _fuck_ in front of Ray _._ "

* * *

 _ **Madly in Love**_

 _ **Anastasia Steele Grey**_

 **June 15, 2018**

I've been MIA and for that I'm sorry. Married life has been- a whirlwind. A wonderfully overwhelming and magical whirlwind. Why didn't anyone suggest that I do this sooner? Married life is the BEST! Many of you know I got married at the beginning of April to a certain sexy copper-headed CEO and I'm fairly certain I'm still on cloud nine. Despite a borderline monsoon and a series of unfortunate events, it was undoubtedly the best day of my life. I was surrounded by family and friends and loved ones as they celebrated the love I share with the best person I've ever met. When I started _Confused in Love_ , I had no idea what would become of it- or my life. And yet, somehow it led me here. I'll be taking some time away from the column to focus on married life (and _all_ of it's perks) but please know that I read every comment, every tweet, every email and I love each and every one of you! Thank you for your continued support! And for those of you that are still as confused as ever, keep your head up, you never know what's just around the corner.

* * *

I close my laptop, as I send the brief announcement to my editor. The following on my column had grown exponentially since the wedding, especially when a number of pictures were leaked online. Since the wedding, I haven't been writing for the column as much as I began to focus on writing a book of my own. It was mainly fiction, though it has some aspects that were very much based on personal experiences. Christian was one hundred percent on board and it astounds me everyday how supportive he is. _Honestly, I think he's just as invested in my characters as I am._ In addition to all of that, we've also talked extensively about having a baby. We are both excited about starting a family and have even discussed the idea of beginning to really try as early as next month.

"Baby?" I hear from down the hall and when I spin in my chair he's standing in the entrance to my home office. He smiles before closing the space between us and pulling me into his arms and kissing me like he hasn't seen me in months, when really it's only been about six hours. "Mrs. Grey." He murmurs as we pull apart, his nose grazing mine gently. "How was your day?"

"Good… but I missed you." I kiss him again before allowing him to move me to the couch in my office. I settle into his lap and rest my head on his shoulder. "I sent the announcement to Marlene."

He nods. "How do you think she's going to take it?"

"That I'm going on hiatus? Probably not well." I chuckle.

"I still think you can do the article while working on the book." He tells me as he kisses my forehead. "If anyone can handle both, it's you." I smile at his encouragement.

"I know, but I have one more thing on my plate now and I need to focus on that." I say getting out of his lap and moving across the room.

"Oh? What's that?"

I walk back towards the couch hiding the early present I have for Christian behind my back. "I have… an early gift for you."

"Do you now?"

"You know it's unbelievably hard to shop for the man that has everything." I tell him, my hands still behind my back effectively shielding the present.

"You know all I want is you, Ana." He tells me honestly like he does every time it's time to get him a gift. I sit back down next to him and hand him the small box with a card taped on top.

"Why do I get this early? And not on Monday?"

I shrug. "Just open it." I smile not caring that the eighteenth was still three days away.

"Roses are red, violets are blue…" he starts before opening the card. "In-" he starts and it's as if his eyes read it before his mouth could say it because he stops suddenly. He looks at me, his eyes wide, his jaw almost on the ground as the smile finds his face. The tears flood his eyes as realization dawns on him. He pulls me into his lap and squeezes me before kissing me deeply. "Are we? Are you…?"

 _Roses are red, violets are blue,_

 _inside me beats two hearts for you._

 _Happy Father's Day!_

 _Ana + 1_


End file.
